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How to negotiate a joint budget in a civil marriage? - LovePsychologys

How to negotiate a joint budget in a civil marriage?

You met the guy you’ve been dreaming of for a long time. However, it is not necessary to say that there is a problem: on the storage device that separates the building. In simple words, each of you should have your own income, which everyone manages as they see fit.

Your opinion on this issue is completely different. You would like to have common funds and spend them together too. If you don’t see the port, other things and the pineapple, how to re-educate him on a joint budget

What types of budgets are there?

Each family (relationship) has its own rules for planning, distributing and spending the budget.

Due to the fact that the topic of money is acute and is one of the key ones, it is advisable for partners to adhere to a common opinion and understanding of this. Otherwise, they cannot avoid conflicts and misunderstandings.

So what are the types of budgets?

Both partners, regardless of who earned and how much, “add” all the funds into a common piggy bank. It doesn’t have to be a real piggy bank. It just means that all the money the family saves and spends together, discussing with each other what purchases they need.

A man and a woman, each separately, spends the money earned exclusively on himself. What they use together is paid 50/50. This includes utility bills, household purchases, large purchases. Some couples even share spending on dinner at a restaurant, going to the movies and buying goodies.

In this case, a specific part of the earned funds of each family member goes to the common cauldron, and the remaining funds remain for personal expenses. Here is possible and such, sometimes occurring option, when a woman spends her money on herself, and men’s earnings go to the joint needs.

Pros and cons of each type

Each of the three types has its positive and negative STORons. Based on them, it is possible to choose the right one for your couple.

Joint

pluses:

  • Cohesion and common goals.

It is possible to form the cells, to measure and to stream, to be transparent on the par. You work as a team, lending each other a shoulder.

  • Trust grows.

Unlike couples in which the budget is divided in half, your expenses are transparent, which eliminates unexpected large expenses that the partner does not agree with. If you want to take the drugs, and you won’t them, you’ll see them in the kitchen.

  • Rationality of expenses.

How to plan a family budget?

When one partner wants to acquire something, the other will always express an outsider’s view on this matter. This will save you from unnecessary expenses.

Minuses:

  • Arguments about who earns more.

Of course, this does not happen for all couples. However, this still happens. In this case, conflicts can be protracted, because everyone thinks that they are giving their all to the fullest. Such depreciation is very offending and repulsive.

  • Conflicts when discussing any expenses.

Let’s say a husband wants to upgrade his favorite computer game. He needs money. The wife does not understand the need for such expenses at all. Capable where the conflict. To the same where we live, it is necessary to protect the two people.

  • The inability to make surprises and gifts.

When a couple has a joint budget, it is difficult to buy a gift for a partner so that he does not know about his purchase. Therefore, you will either have to hide some funds, or inform openly about your intention to make a surprise.

Mixed

pluses:

  • Maybe change the terms.

Partners quietly change the rules of budgeting. Their position is flexible and able to adapt to the life situation. For example, a man earns a lot, and a wife less, after a while, the situation changes. Spouses easily adapt to each outcome and do not have conflicts on this topic.

Minuses:

  • Lack of own money.

If a woman does not earn, she has to ask her husband for money for expenses. Bye, that on products that are not made specifically. This state of affairs humiliates a woman, reduces self-esteem and, as a result, spoils relations with her husband.

Separated

pluses:

  • Independence.

As an independent person, each of you is able to spend the money you earn as you want. It is not necessary to do so and to give it to the owner.

  • Possibility to make surprises.

When everyone has their own budget, it is possible to buy gifts without indicating the intention to make it pleasant.

Minuses:

When one makes a decision about a major purchase, he does not consult with the other. PARTNERS same decision may not come to taste. Especially if the purchase is made by one spouse on credit. A loan from the bank will also be an “unpleasant” surprise.

  • Possible inequality.

If one spouse earns less, it is more difficult for him to pay 50/50 everywhere. In this case, he simply may not have money left for personal expenses.

  • Struggling with attitudes.

Still, in Russia it is not customary to keep the budget strictly in half. This causes, at least among women, a lot of resentment. And if at first she can agree to this type of budget, then after a while, an internal protest can arise: “Why should I pay for myself in the cinema, cafes?” or the division begins who buys what for the child.

How to negotiate a joint budget in a civil marriage?

Couples choose to manage their family budget in different ways. Everyone chooses their own option and lives, adhering to the established rules. But what if your man wants to keep a separate budget, and you are a supporter of a joint one?

Can you tell me how to do it in two cards?

  • Straight Talk.

To begin with, stop accumulating resentment, And be frank about the fact that you see the budgeting in a slightly different way than is customary in your couple. After all, it happens that a woman does not like specific rules in the family, but she does not show it in any way.

A man can’t read your mind. Perhaps his family had a separate budget and therefore he is not even familiar with other options. During the conversation, don’t be too pushy. Gently and clearly explain your position.

  • List the benefits of a joint budget.

The available information for the whole family

If the conversations do not bring the desired effect, offer the chosen one to at least try a joint budget. Let it be a month or two. It often happens that people are simply afraid to change their usual way of life. No having tried something new, they begin to look at the problem from a different angle.

  • Look for an alternative.

If you take it and don’t give it to yourself, you should allow yourself to be in the plane. Perhaps it will include a combination of different items and represent some kind of compromise, thanks to which you will be able to satisfy the needs of both and at the same time maintain peace in the family.

Don’t forward the part and that’s what’s going on in the world. We must learn right away, to discuss these moments “on the shore”. It is when you start dating that even then you need to pay attention to how a man manages money, what he eats.

It is much more rational to find a partner who will be “on the same wavelength” with you in this issue, rather than re-educate and adjust to your own standards. The topic is that of a slow-moving and poorly-managed vehicle in the future.

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