How to overcome crises of family life by years in psychology? In family life, like every person, there are crises. They depend on the relationship of the spouses, life circumstances. There are no periods, which are observed in almost all couples. What crises of family life over the years in psychology can be identified, and how to overcome them?
It is worth mentioning right away that these crisis periods are conditional. They are characteristic of most of the population, as they reflect the natural course of a couple’s life. There are many people who are facing a crisis in a very different time period.
Crisis of the first year
Time of the Collapse of Illusions and Immersion in the Routine – This is how the crisis is often characterized, through which a couple must go through in the first year of marriage. If you do that, you will have to wait for a while, but it is possible for you to do so.
In the case of the crisis, let the crucible problems – adaptation and processing.
The first problem is due to the need for spouses to get used to new conditions and solve everyday issues together – from the joint settlement of financial costs and the choice of a place of residence to the purchase of dishes.
Moreover, the couple is forced to seek a compromise, determining who will be the leader. Husband and wife must accept each other, come to terms with the fact that they cannot change their partner. Any attempt will lead to a quick collapse of the relationship.
Another major issue is frustration. You built hopes for marriage, thought that it would change everything in your life, but nothing happened. Possibly.
A husband appeared in her, but he, too, from the prince whom you saw at the beginning of your acquaintance, turned into an ordinary man, allowing you to walk unshaven at home, slurp, scatter clothes everywhere.
By the way in which the description is given by the members of the responses:
- Spend time with each other.
- Discuss as problems.
- Don’t ask for it.
- Learn to hear each other.
- It is possible to say that it is too late, that it is not that good.
- No try to change your partner to make him more comfortable for you.
Crisis 3-5 let
Frankly, this is the first period when partners get bored with each other. Perhaps they again find themselves on a round of disappointment, as in the crisis of the first year, but more often they simply get tired of ony.
One day you realize that you know your partner like a flaky one, you foresee his every step. This knowledge destroys interest and makes you look for new experiences.
To cope with fatigue and routine, spouses usually use 3 ways. The wife goes to work after the decree, restores social life. The husband may begin to change. The couple decides to have another child.
- Hiring a wife is a good solution to the crisis. With a successful combination of circumstances, she leaves the routine, gets rid of apathy, sets herself new goals, restores a large circle of contacts, begins to realize herself.
- Trying to find relationships on the side leads to the fact that the situation is even more confused. A crisis can turn into a divorce.
- No one wants to go to other parts of the garden. The kid will not be able to glue the destroyed, his appearance will only delay the need to solve problems. He himself will become a victim of your quarrels and conflicts.
- As in the first crisis, try to spend more time with your husband. Travel together, do what you love.
- No conflicts in the house. Discuss them. Try to find a mutually beneficial solution.
- Change. Look for an unusual hobby, get new hairstyles, buy clothes that turn you into a different person. Changes revive interest, and relieve mutual fatigue.
Crisis 12-15 let
This is the time of independence, just like teenagers.
Spouses seek independence, recognition. As a rule, they begin to achieve success at work, confidently move up the career ladder, and look for ways of their own realization in other fields.
On this stage where there are no variations:
- Both spouses manage to realize themselves. They move away from each other because they are focused on work.
- One spouse achieves success and independence. The second does not work or cannot boast the same success. He becomes dependent on the first, who often reproaches him for laziness, failure, begins to despise and insult.
In another scenario, a less successful family member becomes an alcoholic.
- If the storage is not in the US, then the conflict is in-between the unknown.
However, this crisis also has another component. The status of the subordinates is as high as possible. In the absence of a unified policy on adolescent issues, mother and father quarrel even more.
About this topic:
- Avoid the development of codependent relationships.
- Other terms in unknown and existing partners. Realize that life is a swing. Today you are lucky, tomorrow your partner is lucky.
- Develop a common attitude towards the upbringing of children.
Crisis 20-25 years
One could call this crisis the last attempt. The children have grown up. After they leave, there is a void. They no longer need your advice. They make their own decisions, they want to live their own lives.
Parents find it difficult to come to terms with what is happening. They remain together and could already take care of themselves and each other, but so many years have passed that they can no longer get used to each other.
Swearing, conflicts escalate. Often one of the spouses begins to harass the other, blaming the lack of love, useless time spent. The partner is irritated by excess weight, decrepit skin.
Against this background, more often in men, there is a desire to find a more grateful and younger woman.
If the description is given, the response is:
- Despite the fact that children will always remain children for you, they need to be let go. Price and price to the fact that they have risen.
- Talk to your husband. Think about what you dreamed about when you were young. Maybe it was a trip to Tibet or a bee farming – do it.
- Spend as much time together as possible.
- Take care of each other – walk every day, go swimming.
- Try to realize that both of you are aging, changing. No in this staring to the most scratches. Appreciate her. Be gentle to each other.
Crisis 30-40 years
This is a crisis of desolation and loneliness. Man realizes the inevitable old age and the fading of life. A crisis rarely happens.
Here is one of its manifestations. The man is tired of living together and strives for loneliness. In this pursuit, he turns away from a smart, kind, active wife. He is attracted by loneliness, the opportunity to communicate with neighbors, go fishing, just do nothing.
It is difficult to advise something in a crisis when the couple has lived together for many years. Each spouse has the right to go the way they want.
Therefore, the main recommendation is, no matter how hard it is, to accept the choice of a partner, continue to love him and enjoy every moment spent together.