How to overcome the crisis of 3 years in a relationship between a man and a woman? What do you do when you realize that a relationship that seemed perfect no longer makes you happy? There were many quarrels and discontent. It seems that you have ceased to understand each other.
At this moment, the thought appears that you were mistaken, that he is “not the same”. No place in the world that is open to the public. Most likely this is not the end of the relationship, but simply a crisis in the relationship.
What is a crisis of 3 years?
A crisis in a relationship is a period in which a couple experiences dissatisfaction with each other. They are no longer satisfied with the current interaction, and actual needs are not satisfied.
The onset of a crisis often leads to the fact that a man and a woman decide to leave. But this is a serious mistake, because it is through crises that people can achieve true love.
The crisis of 3 years has its own characteristics:
- Romance and novelty leave communication;
- there are many quarrels, insults, conflicts;
- partners begin to annoy each other’s habits;
- the couple cannot reach an understanding;
- domestic conflicts come to the fore;
- people cannot agree on who is responsible for what;
- it is not possible to distribute family roles;
- there is a conflict between the two;
- there is a feeling of disappointment in the relationship.
A characteristic feature of this period is to put the blanket over oneself, considers oneself. If the couple already has a child, the crisis is aggravated by everyday problems, lack of attention to each other.
Many perceive the teriod as the end of a relationship, but in fact, after overcoming this period, you will finally be able to truly love each other.
Why the crisis of 3 years is coming?
It arises because your expectations do not match reality. At the beginning of a relationship, people do not have enough information about each other, so their brain “thinks out” the image of another person, based on their own desires and attitudes.
No matter how paradoxical it may sound, love is to blame for everything. According to research by Helen Fisher, more than 60% of lovers are sure that their partner is perfect. When people are in love, they have increased levels of oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine.
This is the gory, which means that it is necessary to protect yourself and to take care of yourself. But they also have a negative side – they provoke the effect of “rose-colored glasses”.
Previously published in 2007 by «The neurobiology of love» S. However, it is necessary to say that it is on a neurophysiological basis:
- increases the level of fearlessness and makes a person more risky;
- reduces the level of critical thinking;
- makes a person not notice the shortcomings of his partner;
- leads to the fact that he exaggerates his dignity.
But when the hormones subside, critical thinking returns, and the other person turns out to be anything but perfect.
How to survive the crisis of 3 years?
The outcome of a crisis varies. Someone realizes that he really is not on the way with this person. And someone understands: “Yes, he is not the same as I imagined, but I still love him.” To make such a decision, it is necessary to follow a few tips during this period.
- Get to know each other again
It is important to give up those expectations that you built, and start, finally find out what kind of person a Vamerid is. For this, it is important to recognize that all people are different, they have different experiences, worldviews, and upbringing.
Not agreeing on something is normal. Try to get to know the man again. What he likes and what he doesn’t. What are his values, life position, plans for the future. What is important to him in a relationship, and what is secondary. What does he like to do, how he likes to relax.
Negative and disassociating it is not by the topic, that the partner “Plohoi”, on the subject, that is on the topic, by the name of the door. Look at him in a new light, try to objectively see all the good and bad sides of his character. Find out which are more.
- Talk about your desires
Trust and intimacy in relationships come from honesty. At the stage of falling in love, people unconsciously adapt to their partner, they are afraid of his disappointment, not sharing.
The crisis of 3 years suggests that it is time for revelations. Learn to be honest about what you want, what you don’t like, what you dream about, and how you see your future. Listen to each other and find common ground.
- Learn to swear “correctly”
Conflict is a normal part of any relationship. But they are not needed in order for one to “defeat” the other, out-arguing him and proving his case. To swear correctly means to express your dissatisfaction, to hear each other, to understand and to come to a compromise.
For this you need:
- refuse hre mutual recriminations in favor of talking about your feelings hlen
- be able to listen to a man, put yourself in his place and understand why it is important for him what he expects from you;
- realize that now you are building a new family, which means finding ways to agree so that both are satisfied with the novice.
- Bring back the passion
Renew the habit of dating, spending time together, doing things that both of you enjoy. Diversify your intimate life, learn to talk about your desires.
Do something nice for each other: give compliments, give gifts, arrange surprises, help each other, and do not wait until you are asked about it 10 times. Become “heroes” in the eyes of a loved one.
Come up with new rituals, go to the movies, text during the workday, start flirting with each other.
- Develop positive thinking
Having got rid of the “rose-colored glasses”, a person begins to pay attention only to the negative aspects of his partner, because they begin to “strike”, because he did not notice them before.
No, it is not necessary, it is in the north, it is by the house. Being in a crisis of 3 years, it is important to learn how to consciously focus your attention on the positive aspects. Before you is the same person with whom you once fell in love.
Even if you are lucky, you will be able to protect yourself and your street.
Learn to appreciate the person who is near again, praise him more, noting what you like. Remember more often how your relationship began, share these memories, go to the places where you first met, talk about fun moments experienced together.
A crisis in a relationship should not be taken as a “beginning of the end” or a problem. This is just the point at which you realize what exactly does not suit you in this interaction. And what happens next is up to you.
You can end the relationship, or you can change it. It is thanks to the fact that a couple overcomes crises that people get closer to each other, better understand themselves, their partner and improve relationships, bringing them to a qualitatively new level.