How to prove to your husband that you did not cheat & love him? The more you make excuses for something you didn’t do, the more guilty you look from his point of view. Therefore, in such a situation, it is important to radically change your position and turn his view of the problem.
How to prove to your husband that you did not cheat on him and love him?
If a man accused you of cheating, which was not, it is best to adhere to the following pattern of behavior:
- Give him time to recover
Wait until a violent emotional reaction passes, because when a person experiences affective emotions, he is not able to think logically, his critical thinking is reduced.
- Start a constructive dialogue
When he has calmed down, bring him to a frank conversation, during which:
- no one should interfere with you;
- you need to remain calm and friendly;
- maintain eye contact and an open posture;
- find in his personal zone, hold his hand, stroke his shoulder.
While you are talking, it is important not to “start up” yourself, to extinguish his stormy emotions, lowering your timbre, speed.
- Talk about feelings
It is not worth repeating over and over again that you did not do this, if this phrase did not help the first time. Сrals mablyine, that you feel him, how he loves you, you appreciate it, .
Be sincere, speak from the heart. Then it’s worth asking a question and a series of questions: “and do you think what I could do with you,
Expressing a negative attitude towards names in principle,.
After that, talk about trust. With the help of “I-messages”, tell me how hard it is for you to experience the fact that he doubts you, that you want to build a trusting open relationship with him, where you can be frank in everything, and that you are ready to make efforts for this.
Is it possible to prove that you were true?
If you don’t want to do this, you can do it yourself if you have the right and logic arguments.
Why does a man need the conviction that you cheated on him? What does she give him? Oddly enough, if a person stubbornly insists on his own, does not listen to you, does not try to clarify everything, and does not make contact, then he pursues a certain goal.
If the psychologists are not familiar with the subject:
- A man is looking for a reason to leave
Unfortunately, this circumstance must be taken into account, no matter how unpleasant it may be. Sometimes men start a scandal from scratch only to end the relationship.
He stubbornly does not hear your arguments, because they contradict his goal, he simply does not need them. In this case, even if you find a way to justify yourself, you still will not stay together, because he is of this foot.
To determine this motive, analyze your relationship before the incident. Signs that he has been thinking about breaking up for a long time:
- the man became colder, more distant;
- he became indifferent to the solution of joint issues;
- on stopped making plans for the future;
- he became irritable, intolerant;
- you began to communicate less often;
- he began to find fault with trifles, to criticize you.
Everything says that there was a psychological distance between you and you were looking for a reason, chreooth.
It is important to understand that often it does not depend on the fact that something is wrong with you or that he has stopped loving you, has found another. Sometimes this is done by people who, in principle, are afraid of attachment, therefore, as soon as the relationship becomes serious, they subconsciously look for a reason to end it.
- The man takes the position of the victim
Unreasonably accusing you of treason, but continuing the relationship, the man takes on the role of “good”. This is especially noticeable when on starts talking about what happened to third parties.
There are secondary benefits to this. For example, on receives attention and sympathy from others, as the founder of the transactional analysis of Analysis called it. Byrne, he gets “social strokes.”
This makes him feel better. As a rule, such tactics are used by a person unconsciously. It has been learned since childhood as a stereotyped behavior and is usually characteristic of people who, in childhood, did not have enough love for them.
The main sign: a man behaves like an offended child, does not want to talk to you, turns away, but, unlike the previous situation, he is not rude, does not break off relations, does not show arrogance or contempt.
If you, knowing what a man’s childhood was like, you feel that his jealousy and resentment towards you are dictated by this very motive, you don’t need to make excuses for “treason” at all. Raz you are not in the mood for blowing and sympathetic, but it is not possible to provoke it.
Come up to him, hug him, have pity, say that you understand how hard it is for him, what he is going through. If a man makes contact, responds emotionally, then the problem will be solved by itself.
- A man deliberately manipulates your guilt
Exposing a woman guilty of something, he forces her to make excuses, to prove something, to make amends for “sno”. This gives him a number of advantages in relationships.
For example, he can afford to go fishing, despite your protests. Or not to buy you the shoes that he kind of promised, or to disrupt the trip to 2 parents.
A man specifically wants to convict you of something in order to benefit from it later.
A characteristic feature: a man also demonstrates resentment, does not stop communicating, but at the same time turns into something like that. Typical phrases appear, full of righteous anger and indignation: “Do you think that after I am ready and Gross
Or there is a condemnation: “It’s not for you to say what time I have to return from work, after I’ve been back.” On the other hand, it is necessary to say that the word “change” is there, and that is why there is a conflict in the context of the situation.
If this is a conscious manipulation, it is impossible to prove anything to a man. He wants to live in his reality, where you are wrong, and he is right, which means he has an advantage over you.
In this case, you can do only one thing – to leave the game. That is, stop reacting in the way expected for him: do not apologize, do not make excuses, but simply calmly voice your position and declare that either he trusts you or not.
You need to clearly, with restraint, make it clear that you should not make excuses for what you did not do. At the same time, emphasize that you want to be with him, but it is important for you that he begins to hear you.
If it is not possible to build it, then it is necessary to say that it is not possible to do so. No it is there that you are there, so that there is no contact between the two.
It is important to understand that you cannot convince a person of what he wants to be convinced. But if a man loves you, if you did not give real reasons for distrust, then you can hear each other and overcome all misunderstandings.