How to re-educate an egoist and lazy husband – psychologist’s advice. If you say that this is the case, then you say: “Ah, that’s what it’s about?”. Because in a pair of “adult-adult”, such questions cannot arise. Sozdavaya paru, how much video is there and the storage space that is part of it. Yes, a lot is revealed already in marriage, but taking responsibility for changing another adult is very.
It can be very difficult to change yourself. How often have you decided to start a “new life” from Monday, which smoothly passed into Wednesday or the next year. And you want another person to change, and according to your desire. It’s impossible. And that’s what it’s supposed to be like, so it’s necessary to have it in your own home and you’re allowed to do it.
How to re-educate a selfish and lazy husband
Many women believe that this is possible. That’s what you say about “takogo syakogo”, a picture you want to see if you want. Why is this needed?
- So that the husband earns more
- So that he does not have bad habits
- To give gifts
- To spend more time with children and devote time to them
- To treat you with respect
- To do more sports
- To be more economic
And there are many more reasons why you might want to change your husband. Isn’t that what you’re trying to do?
Or maybe it’s about you?
If it isn’t “vospitywaetsy”, it is too late to say that it is intense in this way. And you should pay more attention to yourself. After all, when you want to change another or criticize him, from the point of view of psychology, you are afraid to look at the white person. Maybe you have an unresolved conflict with yourself.
So, if you do not have enough material goods, and you demand them from your spouse, at this moment you yourself may subconsciously want career growth and success in work. Not that you want to do this in parallel. But destructive criticism of another person is always destructive. But you do not wish harm to your beloved husband?
If you notice these signs in yourself, what should you do?
- Say that when you say: «Can you tell me about it?»
- What worries me at the moment?
- Contact a psychologist
- Rest (criticism of another may be due to your own fatigue).
How to talk to your husband so that he hears?
If it is in the Russian language, then it is necessary for the two prosecutors and the slaves to be able to do it. Before that, you can say that you want to chat with him. No word, it’s up to you. It will only scare your husband away. So:
4 tips on how to properly raise your man
- Treat with respect
As an adult who can take responsibility for his life. Even if he does not live it the way you like it.
- Hear his point of view
If your spouse does not want to climb the career ladder, maybe he just loves his job very much, and the promotion promises a big change in daily activities. And you might think he just doesn’t want to take responsibility.
- Talk about what’s bothering you and why
You can talk about your feelings, because you are worried not only for him, but also for your relationship. If any changes are important to you, you need to tell your spouse about it.
- Don’t speak the language of claims
It is very easy to get into a stage when you want to criticize. No, remember that you are not here for this. And in order to understand each other and come to some conclusion.
- Do not blackmail
If you want to motivate him, you can simply say about the consequences that will follow his actions, but calmly, and not in an ultimatum form.
- Avoid scandals
Disputes and conflicts in family life are possible and quite normal, which you do not need to be afraid of or try to exclude completely. No where scandals – when emotions go wild, and you switch to each other’s personality, it will not lead to anything good.
What is important to remember?
After such a confidential conversation, you can come to an understanding. No, it is not necessary, it is still there. Any change takes time and desire. And if the latter has appeared in the spouse, then let everything go on as usual.
Your task is to praise your husband even for small changes. No, it is said that “parent-rebjnok”, it is not that you say it on a roll, but it is also a woman, and there is a bloody heart. Posvol emu samomu nesti is responsible for the speed of decision making and the result.
What is “anchoring” – this is a psychological technique in which positive dynamics is fixed.
In what moment, is it possible to understand and how long it takes to get there?
- be affectionate
- With a sense of humor
You can also ask your husband how he would like you to support him. With this question, you will give him responsibility for the process of introducing new things into his life.
If in family life you are worried that you are responsible for everything in the house, try to give some of the duties to your husband, but at the same time do not control Him. You must trust him completely. So he will feel more significant and will not expect criticism from you for buying milk incorrectly.
Family life is a union of two equal, interchangeable people. This does not happen in every couple, but it is precisely such marriages that are the most durable and happy. Therefore, do not be afraid to entrust your husband with children. Even if he puts the wrong tights on them, nothing bad will happen.
In a family where there is love and respect, no one will “educate” each other. Adult family relationships are primarily mutual responsibility and trust. Family life is a constant development and not only personal, but also in a couple, it is important to remember this.
So every time you think you can change a person, remember that it’s impossible. If you married this person, then there is something in him that attracted you and made you say yes. On the other hand, if you ask for words with few words and not many people, then the building will allow you to take drugs and other people.