How to reconcile a husband with your parents if they are in a quarrel? It is not easy to improve relations between spouses, since two different people inevitably face misunderstandings and the need to seek a compromise. No it is in other parts of the world and there is a storage in the rods, so that the stations are there.
Why do conflicts arise?
A man entering into a relationship with a woman, of course, wants to be only together with her. People understand that parents cannot be deleted from life, but sometimes it is unpleasant to realize that he married not a woman, but her whole family.
Significant impact on the number of conflicts has:
- joint living space – while you live in a house that belongs to your parents, they will feel like full owners, who believe that they have the right to dictate their terms;
- financial support of parents – it is impossible to be psychologically independent from the people from whom you burst;
- the difference in values associated with age and upbringing – the conflict of generations is still relevant and it is sometimes difficult for parents to understand children who do everything “in a new way”;
- parents initially did not approve of their daughter’s choice or prepared another “party” for her;
- parents are trying to educate your husband or criticize him – in this situation, his irritation and anger are quite normal, because he is an adult man and does not need to be taught how to live, what to do and what not to do;
- with your parents, your new family is the meaning of life. Usually this happens when the mother or father is left alone, their interests and affairs disappear, in the life of a sleepy sukoy;
- one of the parents is prone to manipulation in relationships – for example, it causes a feeling of guilt, takes advantage of their health problems, is offended, thereby demanding attention.
How to get rid of conflicts between husband and parents?
It is important to understand that it is not always possible to achieve peace, but it is quite possible to minimize problems and quarrels. To do this, you will be helped by a few tips.
- Define your territory
If you live under a roof, and there are a lot of conflicts in the family, the best option to deal with them is a connector.
Of course, this possibility is not always available. On the other hand, this is a good reason to become independent from your parents, grow up and start equipping your home.
As long as you don’t have any variations, it’s up to you – different territory. This does not mean dividing the shelves in the refrigerator and signing where the products are. No where the inviolability of the room space is worth getting ahead of.
Scientists are inclined to conclude that tightness provokes negative feelings, stress, which leads to aggressive behavior, that is, conflicts.
Richardson D. They published them in their book “Aggression”, 2001.
- Do not join the “warring camp”
Sometimes a woman herself unwittingly “adds fuel to the fire”, because:
- devotes mother to the details of her personal life with her husband;
- comes to her when a family conflict arises;
- where we say sory with my mother, that you are with my mother;
- she needs a trusted person to talk to.
But the problem is that the woman spoke calmed down, remembered how much she loves her husband and peace reigned in married life. No where the mother is not in the right place, on no probable negative effects.
Speaking badly about her husband, a woman involuntarily denigrates him in the eyes of her parents, which leads to conflicts between the minions.
This causes irritation and resentment in the husband, but he transfers them to your parents to a greater extent, since they are a bunch of calves. Moreover, consciously or not, Parents will use the information received from you to get the upper hand in a dispute with a man.
Your parents have a clear idea of how the relationship between spouses should be built. Parents are confident that they have the necessary experience, knowledge, and authority, so they often try to influence us along the way.
This can annoy a man and provoke a conflict, because:
- he was born in the doctor, and he said, you may not be able to eat, but hey!
- so that it is possible, so that it is possible;
- in Conflicts, there should be Only Two of you, without the Shadow of anyone’s Parents, who, as a support group, stand on someone’s side.
In order to avoid conflicts between him and your parents, you need to accept that it’s new and new. Yes, you will take something from your parents, something from his.
But only spouses should determine the rules and responsibilities in their family, lifestyle, communication style, household habits, how they should raise children, how much and where to work, how to relax.
- “Distraction Maneuver”
Sometimes older parents get too involved in your life because they no longer have their own. With age, they no longer need to take care of the Children, They retire, their circle of Social contacts is significantly narrowed.
Interaction with you and your husband, even if negative, is an escape from the feeling of boredom, the meaninglessness of life, the feeling of abandonment. You need to distract them from this.
If your parents do not have a very active life, help your parents bring colors back into it – enroll them in a club, pick up some activity or hobby for them, teach them how to use gadgets, etc.
How to “reconcile” a husband and parents?
If they are already in Conflict, It will depend on You whether peace will reign in the Family, since it is Your husband and your parents.
At such a moment, you may feel cornered, because you will need to accept someone’s story to store someone’s toast.
To help resolve a conflict situation, you need to:
- to clearly distinguish what relates to your “young” family – these are questions of raising children, your relationship boryn bor. If the conflict is between these subjects, it is up to you to do it.
- understand the essence of the problem and clearly define for yourself – this question concerns you and your husband, or your parents.
- realize that you are no longer a little girl, but an independent person. If you don’t want to see other products and where you want them;
- clearly define the boundaries. If the rodents are ok, it is up to you and you are the owner. And only you and your husband are responsible for your life, your relationships, your family;
- talk to your husband. Help him understand why his parents behave the way they do. Make a joint decision on how to find a compromise;
- if the husband is the initiator of most conflict situations, think about what needs or fears are behind his behavior, what does not suit him and why conflicts arise at all.
Disrupt the conflict between the rods and the mouth, it is possible to have it when you are there. At the same time, it is important to gain independence, confidence and clearly realize that your relationship is your business.