How to send a guy off? Tips for girls from guys themselves. How to get rid of a guy you don’t like? How to end a relationship? Today we will deal with this. We even give you a list of phrases that will help you survive this drama in the least painful way.
You have probably already heard a bunch of advice on this topic from your girlfriends. And what about the opinion of the heroes of the occasion themselves? How do guys feel when they get rejected? How do they deal with it?
Read and find out.
15 tips from guys
Reddit is a storehouse of not only memes, but also very useful information. We present to your attention fifteen men’s revelations on the topic of how guys imagine the “perfect refusal”. Plus a couple of words about what guys just can’t stand.
- “Personally. In a private setting. Honestly. Why do you want to break up with me? Without any “it’s not about you, it’s about me.”
You can’t argue here. Nobody wants to be rejected in front of the public. And hackneyed phrases of this kind will not help either you or him.
- “The best thing you can do is make me hate you for a while. Be as direct and rude as possible.”
One of the most honest answers. Hard? Maybe. But this approach is much better than sweet speeches and regaling the guy with false hopes. Some girls, being absolutely sure that they do not need a guy, do not say a firm “no”. Some simply do not know how to do it differently – a pathological fear of offending someone, of seeming “bad” makes them mumble something incomprehensible, instead of telling the bitter truth. Others simply do not want to lose a fan and keep him close to him “just in case.”
- “My ex-girlfriend did just that and I am very grateful to her. No drama and no fussing around. Honest “I’m not happy with this relationship for such and such a reason.”
This is called the smart approach. You say why you don’t want to date this guy – calmly and directly. You thank each other for the time spent together and disperse like ships at sea.
True, there is one nuance here. This approach doesn’t work if the guy’s ego is as fragile as a Chinese vase, and he takes rejection as a personal insult. Run away from such a prince as soon as possible by burning all bridges (blocking him on all social networks).
- “Remember that everyone experiences it differently. This means that not every guy is able to maintain friendly relations after rejection. Even if everything went smoothly.”
It turns out that boys and girls are creatures from the same planet. What a surprise!
Do not insist on the proverbial “stay friends.”
- “My ex, when she broke up with me, laid out everything according to the facts. At the same time, she tried very hard so that her words were not offensive. She made it clear with all her might that the fault for the breakup did not lie with me. It turned out something like this: “I don’t want us to be together. But know that it’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’ll just be better for me.”
Say why you are not satisfied with the format of relationships that the guy offers. Don’t blame him. Don’t use cliches. It’s really the best thing you can do.
- “Be direct and honest. And don’t start dating someone else before you’re done with that relationship. This is what annoys me the most.”
A perfectly reasonable approach for those who have been in a serious relationship for a long time. If you send off a new acquaintance, as such, you have no obligations to him. But no one canceled an honest approach – no false hopes.
- “Get your things and leave my house. Leave a note in which you take responsibility for the stupid things you have done.
Many girls (and guys too) will most likely not agree with such a scenario. Leave? Is it that simple? No heart-to-heart talk? Not everyone is capable of this. In fairness, it should be noted that this is not the worst plan of action. Especially for those couples whose relationship has long been kept “on a kind word.”
- “She didn’t care about my feelings at all. Some passive aggression. She showed with all her might how much her new boyfriend is better than me.
Needless to say, such antics hurt both sides? If you take out your anger and resentment using another guy for this, disappointment and devastation await you.
- “Even if you found yourself a new boyfriend very quickly, try to make sure that the ex does not know about it for a while – just out of politeness.”
If you communicate in one company, it will be difficult to hide this information. Most importantly, do not do it like the girl from point number 8. Do you remember why?
- “It’s like with a band-aid – tear it off with one sharp movement. The slower, the more painful.”
Laconic, metaphorical, capacious. By the way, this does not always work with patches. At least, not everyone decides on such an extreme. But with relationships it is better to do exactly as this guy advises.
- “Long before the intimacy (in every sense) in a relationship begins to fizzle out.”
Relationships don’t fall apart overnight. The realization that this guy is not right for you and you do not want to start dating him does not break into your head as an insight.
Do you feel like everything changed overnight? At one glance, word, touch or deed?
It just seems this way to you.
- “A message that provides irrefutable proof that it must be so.”
Interesting. Most guys and girls unanimously agree that it is better to reject someone in person. But there is still some truth in this comment – sometimes it’s easier to put an end to it without meeting a person face to face.
If, as such, you didn’t have a relationship with this guy and you want to send him off, it’s better to do it through text messages. How to send a guy by correspondence? We’ll tell you a little later.
- “Guys want to know the reasons. Be prepared for the fact that he will begin to convince you that he will improve if you stay with him.
Some guys and girls are ready to save a falling apart relationship at any cost. It’s like a breakup is the end of the world. Besides, annoying fans can be very annoying. They do not accept the word “no” and think that the girl is playing and wants to be pursued.
- “You will still hurt me no matter what you say. So let me walk away with my head held high and don’t deprive me of the privilege of knowing the truth.”
There is nothing to even comment on. The perfect answer.
- “Be honest and logical in your statements. It will still be terrible. But if you give me an honest explanation for your decision, then after the pain of a broken heart subsides, I will be relieved.
So, we listened to the opinion of the guys. In general, we did not see any unrealistic requirements here. Guys just want sincerity and human connection.
And now we go further.
How to send a guy by correspondence?
Option one: you were in a relationship.
Avoid cliches and phrases from cheap melodramas. Speak clearly and to the point. Why do you no longer want to meet, what specifically does not suit you in a relationship. The guy must understand that this is not a whim and not “monthly hormonal storms.” You have made the final decision. No need to write him a huge message, the volume of which will be envied by War and Peace. Thank the guy for everything and apologize for not having the courage to talk to him in person. Wait for his answer. If he starts scribbling angry messages at you, don’t respond to them.
Option two: he wants to meet with you, but this scenario does not suit you.
You met on social media or through mutual friends. Perhaps you study or work together. At first, you were pleased to communicate with him. But then he began to insist on taking your relationship “to the next level.” And you suddenly realized that you do not see him as your boyfriend. You don’t like him and that’s it!
The worst thing you can do is keep flirting with him, giving him hope and keeping him close to you. Sooner or later, the former lightness will leave your communication. He will begin to make demands on you, issue ultimatums and get on your nerves in every possible way. You will start to avoid him, get annoyed and flinch at every notification on your phone.
So-so perspective, right?
Here everything works in much the same way as in the first option. But you have much less obligations to each other. Say that you are not going to move to any “new level” and you do not see yourself in a relationship with him. Don’t invite him to be friends. And be careful if he himself suggests this – there is a great risk that he is trying to buy time.
Phrases to help you
- “Sorry, but we can’t do anything. I don’t want a relationship at the moment. Generally. I haven’t moved on from a painful breakup/engaged in work.”
- “These relationships have outlived their usefulness. You understand that too. I’m not happy that we continue to maintain a relationship just because we are afraid of the reaction of acquaintances / fear of loneliness / hope to return the old feelings.
- “We won’t have a relationship. I love an active way of life, and you prefer calmness and regularity (or vice versa). And that’s okay. We will be happy, but with people who really suit us.”
- “We look at life completely differently. Our plans for the future do not intersect like parallel lines. And neither of us is willing to compromise. I think it’s best to part ways and keep a warm and respectful attitude towards each other.”
- “I only see you as a friend. And I don’t want to give you false hope and use you and your feelings. I can’t demand friendship from you because I don’t want to hurt you. I told you my thoughts. What is your answer?”
How do guys feel?
It’s foolish to think that guys don’t get emotionally torn when they lose the girlfriend they love or get turned away from the one that has occupied their fantasies for so long. Do not trust? We present to your attention another collection of male revelations.
Topic: the most stupid things done out of resentment.
“I broke the window of her car. The next day I decided to give her money. I felt very lousy.”
“Told her parents how she drank and used drugs. She was put under house arrest for a year.”
“I got myself a bunch of piercings and shaved off all the hair on my head. Did everything she forbade me when we were together. Now she thinks I’ve gotten better and wants me back.”
Oh those women!
“I am not kidding. When she left me, I burned absolutely everything that reminded me of her.”
“I got drunk and went to her house. Shouted under her windows that I love her. And her family was having dinner at that time.
“Everything was bad. When we finished arguing, I said that she would never see me again. Slammed the door. I realized that I forgot my keys. I felt like an idiot.”
“I got into a fight with the guy she was talking to. I shouldn’t have done this. This was not his fault. I was in pain and lost the ability to think straight.”
“I posted a video on YouTube in which I call her a bitch and burn the things that she gave me. Her parents said that if I don’t remove this video, they will sue.”
“Walked three and a half miles to her house, having managed to get drunk in honor of the 4th of July. Told her to tell me everything to my face. Although she already said everything in the correspondence.
“I made fake accounts in different chat rooms and gave her number to every pervert that hit on me.”
“I knew the code for her garage. I also knew that she was not going to return my things to me. So I snuck in there at three in the morning and stole mine.”
“I slept with all her friends. Thought it would get easier. It didn’t.”
Finally, we want you to read this list.
So, when sending a guy away, by no means:
- Don’t give in to guilt for not liking him;
- Don’t let him manipulate you into pity and guilt;
- Don’t leave him hope;
- Do not settle for friendship if he obviously has an unfriendly interest in you;
- Do not pour mud on him in the circle of mutual acquaintances.
Remember that it is not your fault that you do not see yourself in a relationship with him. Perhaps one day you will change your mind, and the guy will open up on the other side.
Until this happens, you do not need to deceive yourself or him.