How to seriously talk with a man about relationships and problems in them? Every guy knows the typical female phrase “We need to talk.” And she really annoys most men, and in some cases even frankly frightens. Why are members of the opposite sex so reluctant to talk about relationship problems?
On the other hand, it is possible to start the term. And certainly men do not tolerate female tantrums? In the moment in the voice of the program, the largest number of dialogues on the next subject.
When to initiate such a dialogue?
For you to be able to calmly talk heart to heart and convey your needs, you need to know how to start such a conversation correctly so that the partner does not want to subconsciously close at the initial stage.
Talking about current problems in relationships is not only possible but necessary. Otherwise, there is a risk of accumulating unspoken negativity in yourself, subsequently sheathing it on an unsuspecting man. After all, most often guys do not feel the tension that has arisen.
Pay attention to the context of the relationship and the general atmosphere that prevails in a couple.
Start this important conversation if:
- The man began to linger for a long time at work.
The reasons can be completely different. However, it is worth recognizing that such behavior is always alarming. To drive unreasonable jealousy out of your head, try to communicate frankly with your spouse. More often than not, this quickly puts everything in its place.
- Husband or boyfriend does not respond to your requests.
In a relationship, support, mutual assistance, and understanding of the needs of each partner are very important. If this is not the case, the discomfort should be reported. Otherwise, you’ll have to carry everything on your own.
- Recently, you have often begun to quarrel over trifles.
Another unpleasant bell, signaling the need for a frank and constructive dialogue. It is likely that the man also has something to say. He just doesn’t want to take the first step.
- There is an unfulfilled need for love.
She can do a lot of damage to relationships. When a girl needs attention but does not receive it, her internal energy gradually fades. Try to talk about the need with your man.
- You began to spend little time together and communicate.
That’s not how things will work. This is a direct put to neighborly coexistence and parting. Surely there is some reason why you have become less interesting to each other compared to the early stage of the relationship. This is what we need to talk about face to face.
How to talk to a man about relationship problems?
- Claims from his STORona began to regularly come to your address.
Most often, such behavior indicates the presence of serious problems with the partner. Perhaps his feelings have disappeared, some complexes have developed, or he is even thinking about leaving. In order not to take it to the extreme, initiate a dialogue about relationship problems.
- Your intimate life has given a serious crack.
To remain silent and pretend that everything is supposedly good, in this case, is simply pointless. In the meanwhile, it is necessary to carry out the risk of damage. When the matrimonial bed cools down, the feelings between people cool down. And it deserves attention.
Basic rules for preparing for a constructive dialogue
So, how do you even start this difficult conversation? What side to approach a man so as not to scare him and how to behave in the process of communication? Most uncollective of those that are considered to be different from one another:
- Remain nervous and wind yourself up.
First of all, you need to feel confident and light. Nervousness will immediately be transmitted to a man. This will cause negative reactions to any phrases on your part. No one puts up to it. So you can push the guy away from you.
- Start from the end.
Immediately indicate what you want to get from this dialogue. You can even visualize your goals by writing them down on a piece of paper. When you clearly understand what you need to end up with, moving becomes much easier.
- Think in advance about what to say to possible objections from your partner.
No need to assume that a man immediately agrees with everything. He will certainly defend his point of view. This is normal, as girls and guys look at the world with completely different eyes.
Imagine what kind of objections you can hear with a high degree of probability. Starting a conversation about problems is only half the trouble. You also need to know how to convey your needs to the second half.
- Tune in to the positive.
Not allowed in the area and oboronitelnym actions. Don’t stop on the part, so you can do it by yourself. Before the dialogue, imagine that everything worked out for you. So talking to a man will be much easier.
- Prepare the environment so that it is secluded and calm.
You shouldn’t start a conversation like this when there’s someone else at home. First, you will be corny and uncomfortable. Secondly, a third party can intervene, and this is not required. Try to choose the best time to dot the i’s.
How not to turn the conversation into a negative?
Remember that this kind of communication is not easy. Especially when there is already tension between the partners, which is about to overflow the cup of patience. Insincerity and any attempt at manipulation will backfire on you.
If a girl is determined to restore peace and tranquility in a couple, she should lead and end such a conversation exclusively on a positive note. In this case, the man in the future will be more willing to go to the “debriefing”.
Follow these tips:
- Demonstrate that it is related to the subject.
PARTNER must feel that you want to save the relationship. When he sees a woman’s interest in a positive outcome, he is more likely to avoid a sharply negative backlash.
- Talk about mutual benefits.
Don’t just focus on “I want” and “I need”. It is necessary to communicate with a man in a language he understands. Otherwise, in his subconscious, there will be a feeling that his beloved banal egoist, who constantly pulls her hard
- Don’t try to pressure yourself with breakup threats.
Blackmail and intimidation is the worst thing you can do in this situation. Always keep in mind the parable about the boy who shouted “Wolf!”. Sooner or later, a man will get tired of empty promises, and he will break off the relationship.
- Don’t overreact to objections.
The positive lies in mutual understanding. If you want to be heard, learn to adequately perceive the incoming information yourself. There, too, you can learn a lot of useful things to correct the current situation.
- If you feel like you are about to explode, the conversation should be interrupted or postponed.
In such a case, you can not go on screaming. Otherwise, a constructive dialogue will instantly turn into a banal scandal. Obtain it from the doctor. Or you just break up without hearing each other’s pain.
Talking about problems in a relationship is always difficult, not only for you, but also for your partner. Men really do not want to hear that something is wrong between you. Most often it seems to them that these are just female whims. So prepare in advance for the dialogue and think over the response phrases.