How to sleep better – together or separately? What do the scientists say?

Such a problem does not bother people who fall asleep comfortably in the arms of the love of their lives. Nothing bothers them and does not wake them up, they wake up full of energy after a good rest and joy from the feeling of closeness at night. Happy people!

The content of the article

If you are reading this article, then you probably belong to the other part of the population who do not get enough sleep due to the fault of their bedmate. It doesn’t matter how he keeps you awake or wakes you up at night, but if you chronically do not get enough sleep, get up in the morning with a feeling of weakness and irritation, then most likely you thought about whether it is necessary to share one bed for two.

But another question arises, how will separate sleep affect your intimacy and sexual relationship?

Sleep is dangerous

In many ways, physical health and mental well-being begin and end with sleep. Its deficiency sooner or later leads to a decrease in immune function, and as a result, chronic pain, a number of physical ailments and complications appear.

In addition, sleep deprivation threatens with mental health complications such as irritability, depression, anxiety. Sleep deprivation affects not only people who do not get enough sleep, but also their loved ones. Also, when you don’t get enough sleep, your romantic relationships inevitably suffer.

Through years of snuggling up to your partner, you may not notice that you wake up several times a night. It turns out that partners who sleep side by side wake each other up an average of six times a night.

Sleeping together can kindle the wrong flame

If you often wake up every night, or miss an hour or two of sleep because of your partner, then over time you begin to feel a little “on edge”, and when this happens, then even the most balanced tend to do and say what is really don’t mean. You become irritable, there are more quarrels and misunderstandings in the family.

In addition, your libido gives a noticeable crack. Everything is explained simply: sleep regulates the hormonal level in the body. When you don’t get enough sleep, sex hormone levels drop and stress hormones rise, leading to physical and psychological causes of sexual dysfunction. No matter how you twist it, but the amount and quality of sleep received by couples in romantic relationships has a strong impact on their sex life.



If you want to maintain healthy relationships, you must stay healthy yourself. A recent study from The Ohio State University found that a good, restful night’s sleep may be the best, if not the only, option for returning love and grace to your relationship.

Permanent availability is not always good

The old cliché “you don’t know what you have until you lose it” comes into play here. “When you sleep in separate beds, you’re more likely to prioritize intimacy and physical contact,” says Christie Overstreet, Ph.D., clinical sexologist and psychotherapist.

Now it is not enough for the beloved to simply roll over and reach out to feel you near. Such an obstacle increases the value of your intimacy, helping to maintain the physical nature of the relationship.

There is another subtlety of relationships that people try to hide in the most distant and dark closets of their feelings. Intimacy with a partner can usually occur right before bed.

But it can be very difficult to get into the right frame of mind when you’ve had a busy day or if you don’t feel wanted and sex feels forced because of its routine. However, by refusing you do not want to offend your loved one.



By falling asleep in separate beds, you avoid this situation, and reducing “sex time” before bed will lead to more energetic, passionate encounters in one of your beds.

Cons of sleeping apart

Separate beds are useful for couples disturbing each other’s sleep, but there are some downsides. A 2005 study published in the Journal of Circadian Rhythms found that married people most often have sex before bed between 11 pm and around 1 am when they sleep apart.

Due to the fact that by this time one of the spouses will be sleeping sweetly, many couples may miss their “sexual hour”. Of course, it’s still possible to maintain a healthy sex life when you sleep apart, but it takes cooperation and planning.

In addition to sex, cuddling is often an important part of co-sleeping. Hugs, whether they are associated with sexual activity or not, play a vital role in the feeling of closeness and affection between two people. Post-sex hugs are considered the key to a healthy sex life.

As with sex, separate sleepers can still find time for cuddling, but given that most couples indulge in it in bed, you will feel the lack of cuddling one way or another.



Take a time out

Some stigma remains about separate beds: many people view sleeping together as a sign of a healthy relationship and may feel that sleeping apart somehow “weakens” their bond. Therefore, most people are ready to make sacrifices of frequent sleep deprivation, nighttime restlessness and disrupt their own sleep habits in order to heroically share a bed with their most beloved, warm, cozy, snoring person.

In such a case, a “bedtime divorce” can be taken as a temporary or periodic measure, for example, to get a good night’s sleep on the eve of an important event. It will give you the respite and privacy that we all need. And who knows, sometimes falling asleep not together, you may get closer even more.

MUCH MORE BENEFITS FROM SEPARATE SLEEP THAN FROM JOINT. / Intimate aspects of the dream of lovers.

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