Conflicts in a couple, believe it or not, are one of the most frequent reasons for therapeutic consultation.
Although this alternative is quite normal and useful, we could also work on how to solve these problems ourselves.
Obviously, there are times when professional support is very necessary to overcome conflicts, but it is not too much for us to learn and develop the ability to resolve them.
It is precisely for this reason that, on this occasion, I have decided to write about this important topic. The idea is that you can explore everything that the text offers you and, thus, put the advice into practice.
I am Francisco Martins, coach, author, and relationship specialist at the Academy of Love, and today I will tell you how to resolve conflicts as a couple.
Why do conflicts arise in couples?
To start, we will first talk about why problems arise in the midst of romantic relationships.
So, as in all human relationships, there are times when we have differences. If we do not know how to deal with this aspect, it is very likely that disagreements will arise due to lack of understanding.
The same thing happens in love ties, only that, in this case, it can happen in a more intimate way. That is, conflicts can occur more often because you share more with that person you love.
But everything has a beginning and, therefore, a response to solve the situation we are experiencing.
What things cause conflict in couples?
Now, you will wonder what things motivate conflicts in a couple and cause the bond to deteriorate, keep reading and discover them!
1. Lack of assertive communication
One of the first things that triggers conflicts in a couple is the lack of assertive communication.
This aspect occurs because, basically, we do not know how to speak and express our emotions correctly. That is, we easily get carried away by negative emotions and speak without thinking.
We can also use hurtful words with harmful intentions, resulting in great disappointment. And all this because we do not have the tools for healthy communication as a couple.
Therefore, we are governed by another way of expressing ourselves that leads us towards the so feared common problems of a couple.
2. Lack of communication in privacy
Be very careful with this point, as it represents an important aspect in the balance of the link.
Intimacy is the most private place that a couple has to show each other all that affection and love. When there are communication problems in this space, sooner or later dislikes come out.
The lack of empathy, individualism, routine, etc., are factors that, if not treated in time, can bring disastrous consequences.
Obviously, other things that cause conflicts in couples are infidelities.
Either because it happened once or because it is something that has been repeated; it is clear that nobody wants to be betrayed by their partner.
Infidelity is something that seriously damages any relationship, much worse if nothing is done about it. In fact, many of the conflicts in couples are due to this issue since it breaks with trust.
And believe it or not, it happens more often than you think, it just doesn’t always come to light.
How to detect infidelity is not an easy task, however, there are specific signs that you should not ignore because, in general, they are indicators of betrayal by your boyfriend or husband.
4. Financial matters
Also under this same line of couple conflicts, we can find economic issues.
It is no secret to anyone that the economy profoundly influences the relationship, especially if they share the same roof. As one does not live only on love, sooner rather than later, imbalance and budget shortages bring trouble.
And it’s not about being interested and superficial, it’s about being aware that this factor is important.
Another point of attention in couple conflicts is lack of respect, whether verbal or physical. Either one is quite worrying because a delicate barrier has been crossed.
In addition, this is something that represents danger and not only conflicts in a couple, it goes further and is called violence.
So it is not strange to find lack of respect among this group of things that cause problems within the emotional bond.
Manipulation is another source of conflict in a couple that leads to the breakup of that love.
If you are aware of this action, you will surely not be comfortable and this will generate tension with your boy. Now, if you’re the one manipulating and your partner finds out, they might feel upset about it.
Rather, in the end this will end in great difficulty that can put the relationship on the tightrope.
And it is that simply nobody wants to be managed or negatively influenced, therefore manipulation is not an option.
To learn a little more about the subject, I invite you to read the article on areahumana.es so that you can recognize the signs of emotional blackmail.
7. Emotional dependency
In the case of emotional dependence, we may not notice it at the beginning of the relationship, but it soon makes itself known. Mainly we recognize it because it begins to limit our freedom and to cause discomfort to both of us.
When there is discomfort in the relationship, obviously, there are conflicts and arguments, neither is comfortable!, either because you are the one who has that dependency or because you feel suffocated by the dependency of the other; everything ends up being a chaos that weighs on both sides.
So how do I resolve conflicts with my partner?
If you have come this far, it is because you are truly interested in harmonizing the relationship. You want love and understanding to reign again in that bond that is hanging by a thread.
For this reason, you have decided to delve into this article and thus recognize the causes of conflicts in couples. Without a doubt, here you will find a route that will help you deal with the matter in a practical and efficient way.
But not only that, but this will also generate a change in you since you contribute to your emotional growth.
Now, without further ado, read the following recommendations carefully and work carefully on your relationship,
Own yourself and control your emotions
The first thing I want to advise you is that you know the benefit of self-control and apply it daily.
This way you will not do or say things without thinking or in the midst of heated situations that cloud reason. Remember that famous phrase that says “you are the master of what you keep silent and the slave of what you say”, so it is better to reflect before acting.
When you take the time to glimpse the purpose of your actions, it is easier to correct what is wrong.
If you apply it, you will save yourself many regrets about those things that you do under emotions and without the help of logic.
Strengthens the subject of decisions
It is convenient that, when you are going to make a decision, you call on emotional intelligence and keep in mind the possible consequences, both positive and negative, of the decision in progress, even more so when it does not only affect you.
Remember that once you establish an emotional connection with another person, you must change your perspective and start including that other being in your life; so most things will have to be agreed upon.
In this case, dialogue plays a fundamental role in reaching agreements that benefit both of them, only then will they flow in harmony!
Know the healthy limits in your relationship and you will have the affinity that you dreamed of so much with the man you love.
Practice listening and assertive communication
Is there anything more important in an emotional bond than good communication? This is one of the pillars of success in a relationship. But, what does this communicative process as a couple consist of?
It’s simple, listen to the other carefully and express your feelings transparently! It is very important that there are spaces to talk openly about the bond that unites them, about everything they like about the other, what they don’t like and what they should improve.
Take your time to practice listening and give words of love a chance, you will see the favorable results.
Develop a language in privacy
Although intimacy is not the most essential thing in a relationship, it is definitive because both trust, complicity, and synchronicity are evident just at the moment in which this physical and emotional union materializes.
You and your partner deserve to experience and get to know each other. Developing a unique language for meetings is one of the tasks that must be proposed; In this way, they can fully enjoy each other.
I invite you to read the article published by scielo.org.mx, where love and sexuality are rethought in modern times, it will surely interest you!
How to resolve conflicts as a couple: Forgiveness is the key!
It is no secret to anyone that all relationships go through difficult times; it is natural to disagree with the other and their actions, or simply make mistakes and hurt that special being, sometimes even unintentionally.
In these cases, the best alternative is to breathe, take some time to reflect, then dialogue, forgive from the heart to make amends for mistakes, and follow the path-building as a couple, if that is what you want.
How to forgive your partner is usually complicated, but it is necessary to understand that we are human and mistakes are also part of said humanity; Always put yourself in the place of the other!
Clarify your idea of love
Love is not perfect, it is a state of consciousness that allows us to experience life in a more beautiful and profound way, which does not indicate that everything will always be rosy.
If you think that love is butterflies in the stomach, smiles, kisses, and hearts floating around always, you are idealizing and romanticizing the feeling that moves the world!
It is essential that you rethink the idea you have of love, especially when you live as a couple, which is full of happy moments, but also conflicts that, if you know how to solve them, do not affect the union that exists between that special person and you…
Learn to negotiate with your partner
All people are different worlds, therefore, tolerance with the other and agreements are vital to be able to live in harmony. As much as you are the soul mate of your partner, there will always be situations in which both do not fit.
Do not worry, it is normal for this to happen! Simply learn to trade with the man you love and you’re good to go. If both are aware of the differences and know how to handle them with patience and maturity, they will not have any major conflict, on the contrary, they will strengthen the relationship!
Would you like to know how to keep a man in love and be able to enjoy his unconditional love for a long time? Take a look at the Magnetic Desire Method and find out how to drive any guy crazy and pique his curiosity!
Now that you know the tricks to resolve conflicts in a couple properly, put them into practice and start building quality relationships!
Remember that you deserve a real, complete emotional bond that contributes to your personal growth, where you feel that every difficulty is an opportunity to learn from the hand of your loved one.
You don’t need to be perfect or be with a perfect man, it’s a matter of basing the relationship on dialogue, assertive communication, respect and healthy habits so as not to let love die.