How to start a conversation with a girl – detailed instructions

By the time you figure out how to start a conversation with a girl to get acquainted and formulate your first question in your head, as a rule, the moment has already been lost. And now you are already passing by and you are terribly offended that you could not come up with that first phrase. Familiar?

Fortunately, this can be fixed. I want to introduce you to a technique that will help you easily start communicating with any girl you like. But first, let’s take a look at psychology.

3 reasons stopping you from starting a conversation with a girl

1. The reaction of the girl (“yes go you”).

2. Condemnation of others (suddenly she publicly rebuffs).

3. Excessive excitement. This manifests itself in excuses for oneself “I’m not dressed like that now”“Yes, she buried herself in the phone, how will I tear her off“, “she is probably waiting for someone, yes, as if her friend came up to her“, “does she have a boyfriend“. (by the way, you can find out if a girl really has a boyfriend by reading this article (opens in a new window).

Yes, there is a risk. But he binds you only because you want to please. What if we change the task?

Consider 3 steps of a simple and working technique for the first conversation with a girl. For debuts, you will have a template. Then you can already add something of your own or even switch to a personal style.

Step one #1

We change the setting “like” to “draw attention to ourselves.” Then fears fade into the background, because they will no longer play such an important role.

Your task at this stage is to include it in the dialogue. Cause a positive or neutral reaction from the girl with your action or question. From the outside, it will look like a regular conversation of old friends, so you don’t have to worry about fear points 1 and 2.

For this you need:

– establish eye contact (catch her eye);

– to say a neutral phrase.

What could it be:

1) Situational comment, depending on what is happening right now where you are

– about the weather (snow, rain, sun, cloudy);

— “it’s so noisy/quiet here today”;

– “good picture / game / organization”;

– “you will not tell me how to get through”;

– offer help (with the choice of ice cream, step over a puddle, and other little things).

2) Question:

“Driving classes will be held here now, am I right here?”;

“Don’t you know if they are all newbies or are there already those who have been doing this for a long time?”

If the lady is buried in the phone or tablet, then:

“Can you tell me if Wi-Fi works here or not?”

At the bus stop:

“Tell me, was the last bus long ago? And then I’m in a hurry to train.”

The mall is generally a paradise for a flight of fancy, if you see what comes out of the store:

“Tell me, is there a men’s department there?”;

“Do you think the shirt looks more representative – blue or gray?”

“Do you know where the food court is?”

A woman with a branded package in which the purchase:

“Oh, excuse me, but where is this department? Do I want to buy a scarf for myself (sister, mother) there?

Do not try to meet and please at this stage. Even try to think on the contrary that there is a pretty passer-by in front of you, who in no case should be shown this. Speak confidently and directly.

Remember that the task is simply to show her that you exist in this world. She doesn’t even suspect it yet. Here also help.

Your advantage is that you do not strive to appear cool and cheerful, on the contrary, you are relaxed and natural. This plays into your hands automatically, the girl also relaxes and it is already easier for you to find a common language further.

Step two #2

Only after social contact is established between you, launch the “like” program:

# draw attention to ourselves

# Show interest

Basic rules for this step:

• Don’t look away first;
• Do not look at the floor (preferably on the forehead, eyes, nose, clothes);
• smile;
• Enjoy your courage;
• Tilt your head to the side as you listen to her answer;
• Maintain the appeal to “you” until she herself suggests switching to “you”.

Your not simulated, but real interest will cause an absolutely amazing positive response from the girl.

Phrases to start a conversation that will win over a girl:

“How often do you come here?”

“You have such a sweet smile that my legs past you don’t want to go any further”

“Listen, I saw from afar that you are so beautiful and could not help but approach”

“You just chose sweets, I thought we should urgently come to meet you”

How to start a conversation with a girl – detailed instructions.

Step Three #3

Let’s define the goal. Why get to know each other and figure out what to talk about with a girl? — Get a phone and/or arrange the next date. So?

Then the next step is a light conversation in which you voice your intention.

• We draw attention to ourselves
• We show interest
• Conversation to get a contact

After neutral questions, there may be an awkward pause, after which you often make a mistake – you … merge. No no no! Should not be doing that!

Words are not as important as you think. Rather, try to relax and focus on yourself, your body language, your confident posture, your gaze into her eyes.

Important! Do not try to make this dialogue interesting for her, but try to make it pleasant for yourself. Think about what is fun to tell you, what jokes you find funny, what is really important for you to know about it. Entertain not a girl, but yourself

If the excitement starts to take over, you can neutralize it if you use the method that businessmen use in important negotiations – voice it:

“I feel embarrassed, I don’t know what to say, but I really liked you very much and I would like to continue communication with you.”

6 Essential Tips for Making the Most of Your First Conversation with Women

1. Don’t play someone you’re not. Firstly, you will quickly run out of steam, and secondly, she will like the task the way you really are, and not present some kind of mythical image.

2. After you have received a contact, do not put off a second conversation with a meeting proposal. It would be best to call (just call, not write) in 1-2 days.

3. Before you take a phone number, you should know this: many of us have already encountered strange pickup artists who just run-up, take the phone and disappear forever.

She does not want a repetition of this stupid action. Therefore, in order to win her over, you can FIRST arrange a meeting, outline a picture of a future date for her, and only after that take her number. This will add points to you in her eyes – in front of her is a serious man. How can I do that?

“I want to invite you two to sit down for a cup of coffee on Wednesday night, how do you look at it?”

“You can’t on Wednesday, but on Thursday?”

“Great, then Thursday at 19, will it be convenient for you?”

“Okay, agreed, now let me write down your number”

The girl in this case thinks: “The guy really liked me, and he wants to get to know me better. He doesn’t pick up the phone for show or to brag to his friends, he’s serious.”

You might be interested in reading: Where to invite a girl on a date – 27 cool places (will open in a new tab)

4. Don’t be afraid of rejection. I will tell you a secret: the girl says “no” not to you (your appearance, your personality, you as a man) but to herself, to the situation now in which she is now. She is currently not ready to continue the acquaintance for herself. For example, the reason is that she is married, she has a friend, she is afraid of men, she is in a hurry somewhere, she is not in the mood, she is going through a breakup crisis – yes, there are a million reasons. By the way, I already wrote about the fears of girls before dating and how to turn them to their advantage.

She does not yet know you and judges only by the first impression – a courageous and fearless young man struck up a conversation with her.

In her eyes, the man who dared to speak is already brave and courageous.

5. Experience, experience, experience. Only with him confidence, calmness, and skill will come to you. Get to know each other more, talk to the fair sex, start neutral conversations. Women are people just like you. Very soon you will stop reflecting and worrying, and the beginning of communication with a girl will turn out easily and naturally.

6. The last one on the list, but, probably, it should have been made item number 1 and highlighted in bold.

Before starting any action, say to yourself: The game has begun!“. Catch this drive, breathe deeply and go! This simple phrase removes any blocks, helps both when performing on stage or in front of a large audience, and in cases where it is difficult to decide on something.

How to start a conversation with a girl: a way for advanced guys?

If you already have experience and want something spicier, then this method is for you.

3 basic principles of communication that will always work:

1. Confident non-verbal (posture, gestures, body position);

2. Dominant look;

3. Direct open approach.

With all your behavior, you demonstrate that you are honest, live by your own rules, and are not afraid of your desires. If you use these three points, then everything that you do not chat with will be in the background. What matters is HOW you say it.

You must convey this in the first seconds. So, the way itself:

1) Stop her with a look or a greeting.

2) Express your sympathy as directly and openly as possible.

3) React calmly when she gives the number, write it down and call in the next 2 days.

Example:

– Hey! I’ll distract you for a minute. Do not be afraid. To be honest and direct, I really liked you. I want to invite you for a cup of coffee or sit somewhere together. In my spare time from work and study.

– What if I’m busy?

– I think we’ll come up with something, call and agree. What is your name?

— Dasha.

– Here, Dasha. You will have my phone number and I will have your number. Let’s find a free minute and we’ll get something.

You take out the phone.

– Come on, – and write down, immediately dial, – Is there a challenge? All right, come on, see you.

And leave.

Everything happened naturally and spontaneously. You yourself feel it, the young lady catches this state and also begins to enjoy such communication.

How to start a conversation with a girl – detailed instructions.

What looks funny and ridiculous when meeting?

— Ponty and flaunting their achievements and property (I have a Ferrari and a business);

– A compliment to clothing and style. A couple of months ago, I accidentally came across a recording of a pickup coach class. So he literally recommended the guys to start acquaintance with the phrase:

“You have such an unusual styling. Did you do it today?”

WHAT?! It’s the same if a girl says to you: “Oh, you drove a nail in such an unusual way! Did you do it today?” That’s honestly the same nonsense.

There was also:

“This hairstyle suits you so much” – you might think you saw us without this hairstyle in order to be able to compare whether the new one suits us or not. This sounds like a stupid pattern that has nothing to do with your real opinion.

Or:

“I saw that you matched your shoes well to your purse. This is cool”.

Well, if you want to get the impression that you are a lover of shoes and handbags and your corresponding orientation, go for it.

But he called the phrases “beautiful hair” and “beautiful eyes” shitty tackles.

So, I tell you for sure that it is the second remarks that are positive and suitable for how to start a conversation with a girl. We perfectly understand that the guy is embarrassed and such a cute compliment is quite appropriate and natural. He expresses his real opinion, without unnecessary frills. How to start a conversation with a girl – detailed instructions.