How to stay relax in the early stages of dating? or Stay relaxed in the introductory phase – avoid these 7 common mistakes! You are sitting in a café with your best friend. Suddenly a handsome man comes to you.
He says he wants to get to know you. He’ll talk to you for a few minutes and ask for your number.
You’re a little surprised because he’s so open, but you give him your number. After a few hours, you will get a message from him.
He already has some date ideas for your first date in a few days, but it’s up to you to decide which one you like best. You can’t believe how smooth everything is going and you decide to go to the theater.
The day of the first date has come and you two are having a really good time together. You can’t explain it to yourself, but you feel a deep connection with this man as if he could be the love of your life.
Everything is so easy, pleasant and relaxed with him and you can’t help yourself, you start dreaming what your wedding dress might look like and you think up names for your future children.
You want him to know what a good time you had with him too, so you can text him a few WhatsApp messages. He just replies with a short message and says good night to you.
You think that’s a bit strange, but it’s getting late. The next morning you write a few more messages, but you get no answer.
It’s been a few hours and you’re trying to call him. Again nothing.
You are totally disappointed. You were sure he felt the same way you did, but now you think this relationship won’t work.
You are ready to give up love completely. It makes no sense.
But he answers in the late afternoon. He says he had a hectic day at work and couldn’t text you back.
He also had a very nice time with you and would like to see you again in a few days and you get lost in your dreams again. You can already imagine your honeymoon somewhere on the beach.
Is everything still easy and relaxed or are you going a few steps ahead again? Think about it, do you even know this person?
How much can you even know about someone after just one date? Or even after the third date?
Being in love is a wonderful feeling, but you also have to be a little careful. Staying relaxed in the getting to know you phase can be very important for the future of your relationship.
A lot of men, but also women, simply feel overwhelmed when a partner wants a steady relationship right after the first date. You will then feel uncomfortable and end the relationship before it has even started.
Do you really want your dream partner to run away from you? I’m sure you don’t want that.
Therefore, today I am bringing you the most common mistakes that men and women make and thus rush the getting to know each other. I will also show you which behavior is better, or how you can stay relaxed while getting to know each other.
So, let’s go! How to stay relax in the early stages of dating?
Mistake number 1
I once had a colleague, he was a real chameleon. Every few months, or sometimes even a few weeks, he had a new style or hobby.
For a while, I thought he was just discovering himself and trying to figure out what he wanted out of his life. But then I heard the truth from our mutual friend.
In fact, this man changed every time he had a new partner.
He was so scared that his new girlfriend would not please him that he would adapt his style, hobbies, and all his interests to his partner in every relationship.
My tip on how to stay calm in the getting to know you phase or early stages of dating
The younger we are, the more often we make this mistake. We believe that we will please someone only if we have a lot in common.
And yes, similarities can be good for a relationship, but they’re not the only thing that matters. In fact, it’s much more important to show your true colors.
You probably don’t intend to play something your whole life that you are not. You don’t want your dream partner to fall in love with someone who you are actually not.
Of course, we try to show our best side at the first meeting, but that should still be the real us and not something we think other people will like. And so we lose ourselves.
No matter how much you like someone, if they want to change you, he or she is not the right one. Stay the way you are, this is the only way you have the opportunity to find someone who will really love you, with all your rough edges.
Mistake number 2
The next story I want to tell you is actually my personal story. It’s been a few years now.
I got a message in my Facebook inbox from a young man who explained to me that he has already seen me a few times in different situations, that he finds me interesting, and that he would like to get to know me.
I found it interesting that he was at least brave and didn’t wait too long to take the first step so I said yes to the date.
At the beginning of the date, it wasn’t really bad, we had a good time, we found out that we have a lot of common interests and topics to talk about. And then it started.
Oh, if I had known it would be that good, I would have brought a ring with me. Haha just kidding. Or maybe not?
I just smiled at him strangely, but actually, I didn’t think it was funny. He couldn’t stop.
Over and over again these jokes about engagement, the names of our children or who in his family I have to get to know first and so on. Do I even have to say that there was no second date?
My tip on how to stay relaxed/calm in the early stages of dating
Yes, maybe he just had an unusual sense of humor that I couldn’t understand, but these topics are definitely not first-date topics.
There are people who believe in love at first sight and yes, sometimes you feel a deep connection to people you have met for the first time, but even in these cases, you shouldn’t rush it.
If you really can’t help yourself and can already imagine your future together, tell your best friend about it. Or write a letter.
Do whatever you have to do, but wait for a little while telling your dream partner about it. Ideally, until you are 100% sure that he also wants a future together.
Mistake number 3
How to stay relax in the early stages of dating?
This mistake is a classic that each of us has probably made once in a lifetime. When it comes to getting in touch too much, the story of my friend Ina comes to my mind every time.
We went to our favorite bar one evening and met a few men. Ina thought one of them was actually very cute and you could see he thought the same about her.
They smooched a little that evening and exchanged numbers. The next morning I get up and I see a message from her.
I have to change my number it says. I’m calling her because I don’t understand what she’s trying to tell me.
The man she met last night wrote her more than 50 WhatsApp messages and called at least ten times that morning. They didn’t live happily ever after …
My tip on how to stay relaxed in the early stages of dating
Finding a partner is not easy. I’ve said it before and I will say it again and again.
Then when we meet someone we really like at first sight, where we feel like we met the right person, it’s hard to stay calm.
We are just excited, we want to share everything with this person.
We want to know how he feels at every moment. We want him or her to know we are thinking of them too, and sometimes we just exaggerate.
Although most of us text instead of calling, not all people enjoy texting each other all day. And especially not so early in the introductory phase.
If someone doesn’t reply to your message right away, that doesn’t mean they’re inevitable, but it doesn’t mean they should be texted 15 or 20 more messages now.
I know time goes by very slowly when you’re waiting for a response from your dream partner, but the best thing you can do is keep busy with something else and not keep checking your smartphone.
The reasons he doesn’t answer can be very simple – maybe he’s working or you haven’t asked a question and he doesn’t know you’re waiting for an answer.
Mistake number 4
We all have this little monster on our minds that you whisper the worst things to us. It waits until we feel particularly bad and then it starts.
You can’t compare yourself to other women at all. You are not beautiful enough. You are not smart enough.
Didn’t you see the photos on his Instagram profile from last night? The woman who was with him is so much better than you.
Together they look like real #couplegoals. Why would he spend the time with you? You are not interesting enough.
And the biggest mistake we can make is believing this little monster called jealousy.
My tip on how to stay relaxed/calm in the early stages of dating
Whether you are jealous of yourself or you have a jealous partner, if you don’t control that jealousy and it turns into a pathological jealousy, it can be a very difficult challenge for any relationship.
In this case, I’m not talking about situations when your partner is really flirting with other women or your partner is flirting with other men over and over again.
You can understand jealousy pretty well and you should really consider whether you want to stay in such a relationship.
But if your partner really isn’t giving you any reason to be jealous, but you still feel it, the problem is actually within you. You can fight jealousy and you have to start building your self-love and confidence.
Only when you love yourself can you believe that another person can love you. Then the jealousy and your fear of loss will also disappear.
Mistake number 5
I’m so glad I met you, you changed my life. I want to spend every minute with you, you make me happy.
Without you, I am lonely and desperate. I never want to be without you again. I can’t imagine my life without you
Sometimes when we’re newly in love we rush it and forget that we also had a life of our own before the relationship. We believe that the only thing that can make us happy is our partner.
Emotional addiction cannot be good for the relationship.
The other partner is under a lot of pressure and just doesn’t feel comfortable if he always has to remember that he alone bears all responsibility for your feelings and your happiness.
My tip on how to stay relaxed/calm in the getting to know you phase
Of course, a dream partner and a new relationship can sweeten our lives. But they shouldn’t be the only thing that makes us happy.
Our happiness should come from us alone. You have to be at peace with yourself first, love yourself first and then you can also enjoy the relationship. Only in this case can you be in an equal relationship.
Even if you are not satisfied with yourself yet, I have good news for you. This is that one can train complacency.
This will build your self-esteem and make you a happier person. And believe me, this will also have a very strong and good influence on your relationship.
Mistake number 6
I can’t wait for you to meet my Christian. He is so perfect.
I couldn’t believe the first time I met him. Do you remember what I said about what my dream man should look like? So Christian looks exactly like that!
Yes, we’ve only been together for a few weeks, but I can tell you right away – he’s wonderful. I’ve never met a person like that.
Unfortunately, I still don’t know when you can get to know him. Namely, he’s going through a tough time at work.
I hardly see him. We’ve only actually seen each other a few times since we started dating.
But I just find that he is the person for me. This man can’t go wrong.
My tip on how to stay relaxed in the early stages of dating or a relationship
When you’re fresh in a relationship, you go through a very special phase of being in love, where you believe that the partner is perfect.
You can’t believe you’ve met such a wonderful and beautiful person.
You just don’t believe that this person can have any flaws. Unfortunately, it is not so.
Neither of us is a perfect person. We all have our bad points.
The sooner you accept that your partner has their bad sides too, the happier you will be. True love does not mean finding someone perfect, but loving someone imperfect for who they are.
Expectations that are too high are a burden that you don’t need in your relationship.
Mistake number 7
I have a large group of friends. Of course, relationships did arise between them at times. But one was pretty special.
We all knew that Thomas was in love with Karin. Karin knew it too.
But this love was an unrequited love. But she suggested that they try a friendship plus.
He thought this was a great opportunity for him to show that he could be a dream partner. He was sure that after all this time they would spend together, she would fall in love with him.
But this did not happen. Karin met a new man, with whom she fell in love and ended the friendship Plus with Thomas.
My tip on how to stay relaxed in the getting to know you phase or a relationship
Defining your relationship status is a very important part of getting to know each other. For some people, it’s okay to just have a friendship plus or a no-obligation relationship.
But that can only work if both sides want the same thing.
But if one side or a partner longs for a serious relationship and only stays in this almost relationship because he believes that something serious will come of it, it cannot be good for him.
It can end up hurting him even more than if there had never been a relationship.
You always have to remember that you are valuable and unique and that you shouldn’t settle for less than you actually want!
Stay relaxed in the early stages of dating or a relationship – how does it work with online dating?
When it comes to online dating, the rules are a little different, but so are the problems and mistakes that we make when we get to know each other.
The most common problems in online dating include: how to approach someone in the first place, how to keep your interest, and how long to wait to meet for the first time.
Although you should stay relaxed during the getting to know each other, that means something different with online dating. Since online dating is inherently a little less binding than a real-life relationship, you have to be careful not to become too loose.
It’s nice to have someone to chat with, but if you already feel so nice with each other, maybe you should also see if you feel that connection, even when you meet.
I’ll tell you a secret now: just don’t get in touch with How are you and please without any stupid pick-up lines.
Good luck with your partner search!
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