How to stop being jealous of your husband’s past – advice from a psychologist? “That bastard again! She definitely calls him. Specially exposes his half-naked pictures! And after all, no skin, no faces, but there too! And he! Just staring until I see! And he also remembers, parasite, all the time – that’s for sure! What if he comes back to her? They are connected so much … I wonder if he writes to her, calls? Maybe he’s following her with a fake account? Does he remember any stories with her? And if he compares us, and believes that she was better? And in general, he regrets that he lost her … “.
Each of us has a past, and each of us has his own. On the one hand, it is the past, which means something was still wrong, and the person was not satisfied with the story in these relations, but on the other hand, there is a doubt that there are situations when people return to their past relationships, and everything is getting better there.
What is the danger of jealousy of the past?
On no date it is necessary, and the cell and the polarity are determined by the projected moments. Jealousy gnaws from the inside, makes you doubt your partner, reduces your own value, and destroys self-esteem. There is a constant comparison of oneself with someone else.
Let’s analyze with you the main tips that can help you stop being jealous of your beloved.
Top 10 tips to help you calm down
You can resort to the recommendations below or not, act at your own discretion, however, you must understand that it is impossible to accumulate negative emotions inside yourself. If you want to, and you want this building to be completed by the process.
Speak Openly
Nothing solves any difficulties and problems in relationships like an open dialogue. What you feel that does not give you peace and confidence in your loved one needs to be spoken out. Of course, you should not constantly tell a man that you saw the slightest hint somewhere.
Talking about it, the sooner you understand how quickly situations are resolved with the help of the more nerilt. In order to be able to understand and understand.
Talk about feelings
This is an addition to the previous one. Sometimes it is very important not just to say what worries and haunts you, but to share what you feel, feel, feel, and do. Think of a time when you blamed or were accused of something. Now, that was the case with the You-statement. And this method only angers the partner even more.
When we talk about feelings, we start from the I-statement. For example, when you see that some girl is writing to your man, tell him how you feel. “I get angry when I see that other girls write to you, because it seems to me that you pay attention to someone when you are.”
Behind every accusation, attack and loud phrases, emotions and feelings are hidden, which you don’t always want to reveal about. But it is this process, when you share your condition, that helps your partner better understand you and the feelings that you have in various situations.
Trust
Unfortunately, past events can undermine faith in people, do not allow you to trust someone again. But without trust, you can’t build healthy, long-term relationships. Evaluate objectively, is there a reason not to trust your partner?
Jealousy for the past. Why do past relationships get in the way of building new ones?
Did you have precedents with him where he made you doubt him? If not, then try to evaluate as objectively as possible. Remind yourself that if there are no reasons, then everything is fine.
Forgive
From the previous paragraph about the loss of trust, this one follows – forgiveness. Let go of situations where you were hurt, forgive the people who caused this pain. Yes, it’s not easy to forgive, but for your own mental health and healthy relationships, this is necessary.
Write a letter to the offender. From the list of flowers and the ones from the situation, which is part of the story. What decisions and what behavior did you expect from the person who offended you. Tell us in a letter what your hopes and expectations were, what fears appeared.
You can do that, you can do it if you want it. This letter can be burned. As the letter burns, give thanks for the offender’s experience, and mentally let go of the past.
Don’t see relationships as addiction
You are two independent and self-sufficient people. And you are together not because you are afraid of loneliness, gossip or something else, but because you are good together. Each of you has some business and occupations, each has his own personal space. No, you are there and you are there, spending time together and all that, you will be able to do that.
Change focus on yourself
Drowning in another person at 100%, there is a chance to dissolve in this, and lose the real you. Take your mind off the worrisome thoughts about your exes, and remember what you get high from. What inspires and engages you in the process?
Perhaps there is some hobby that you forgot about, but you would still dive with the same joy. The attractiveness of a woman increases at times when she is insanely passionate about something. You are not interested in the interests of the people, the people who love, the people and the people.
Remember that the past shapes the present
It was your man’s past that made him what he is now. That experience, those painful relationships and a difficult break, are now part of the person into whom he is powerful.
Perhaps the ex of your loved one made him so sensitive and understanding. I revealed some of his STORons, which he is not afraid to show you now, and which you like so much. Of course, I don’t really want to recognize someone’s valuable contribution to your beloved, but it certainly exists.
Respect personal boundaries
Each has its own field, in which entry is prohibited. And not because there are some skeletons in the closet, but because this is the corner in which a person can stay with nai. For someone, this is just the whole topic of past relationships, and in general some kind of communication with former partners.
Discuss your personal space with your loved one on the shore. Perhaps certain questions or topics fall into the same restricted area. Such respect for one’s own personal boundaries and the boundaries of a loved one will bring them closer together, excluding re.
To mature
Jealousy often appears in childhood. The child does not receive parental attention, and some fear is formed. And in adulthood, when you get close to a man, you have love, you are emotionally closer and closer, an old girlfriend reminds of herself – jealousy.
And it gradually goes away when you psychologically begin to grow up. You understand that the responsibility for life, for your feelings, reactions, choices and actions lies with you. Accordingly, jealousy is also your responsibility.
Contact a specialist
If you feel that jealousy interferes, you feel uncomfortable living like this, there are many fears and concerns, and you understand that you need help, contact a specialist. Oh Oh psychologist pomototatiary traumatic events that provoke voobenihr
Jealousy is still a “girlfriend”. There are indeed situations when it arises completely on real facts, but most often it is associated with our fears, complexes and painful experiences.
Remind yourself often that you are living and building your relationships in the present. And the moment “here and now” is the most important. Therefore, make your “today” harmonious and happy. Then and the person next to you will feel the same.
