How to stop loving: 7 ways proven by life? So, you realized that a relationship with this person is impossible. At least in this universe and in this dimension of time-space. But what about feelings towards him or her? Today, we’re going to look at some of the most helpful ways to overcome painful love cravings.
How to stop loving: 7 ways proven by life?
1. Remove this person from Vkontakte friends, from Instagram, Twitter
As well as any other social networks. And in general, if possible, throw the old SIM card out the window, pack your things and start a new life. Or at least stop following him online.
When you constantly pursue a person or just accidentally stumble upon information about him, sooner or later it will destroy your life. If it is impossible to build a healthy relationship, you need to break all ties. At least until your feelings for him are comparable to the feelings for the boot of a subway passenger sitting opposite in the same car.
2. Think about his or her shortcomings
The foundation of the obsession that people usually call love often lies in idealization. You attribute exclusively positive traits and qualities to this person. As if this is not an ordinary man or a simple girl, but an inhabitant of Olympus who has descended to mere mortals.
But sooner or later you will fall into your own trap. The more you idealize an inaccessible person, the more suffering you will cause an unnecessary feeling. Everyone has flaws – so why not highlight them for your own peace of mind? Stretch your memory. In what ways did he or she misbehave? What character traits are in no way similar to your ideas about a Real Queen or a True Noble Knight? Or maybe there is a reason to pay attention to the flaws in the appearance of this person?
Let these negative qualities always be highlighted in your mind whenever there is a desire to idealize a person. And then, having shown perseverance, in the end you will overthrow the unworthy impostor from the pedestal of your heart.
3. Spend more time with friends
What can better distract from suffering for an inaccessible person than communication with old comrades? Do not sit at home within four walls. Go to visit friends or girlfriends. Call old friends you haven’t seen in a hundred years. Who knows, maybe they too suffer from broken love aspirations. And by spending time together, you can help each other forget about suffering.
In addition, in the company of friends it is always easier to switch attention from your problems to how other people live. Maybe they need your help too? You should not focus only on yourself: since so far your personal life leaves much to be desired, put your strength into a constructive direction. Teach a friend to knit. Or sit with a friend’s nephew so that he goes to a hockey game at least once a year. Believe me, your friends will definitely be happy to help; Yes, and you yourself will feel proud of yourself, because you did a good deed.
4. Wedge kicks out with a wedge
You can dwell on the same person for months and even years; and you can do as the old folk wisdom teaches you to do – switch your attention to other representatives of the opposite sex.
Yes, at first you don’t want to think about letting anyone else into your field of vision. After all, there is he or she – so ideal and inaccessible, to whom you want to devote all your thoughts until the end of your days. But you and I know where all this whirlpool will lead: into the abyss of depression, suffering and hopelessness. And there is not far from alcoholism or health problems.
Therefore, do yourself a favor – answer the smile of a pretty secretary or an attractive guy from a neighboring department. Little by little, the “blasphemous” thought of paying attention to someone else will take root in your mind. And maybe someone from your environment will be able to arouse your sincere interest.
Of course, no one is talking about the need to indulge in all serious. Even a romantic date does not mean that you are planning to build a relationship with this person or have a sexual relationship. However, allowing yourself to unwind and be distracted for a while is an extremely useful thing for those who want to stop loving. So the space for an unwanted person in your mind will remain less and less. Exercise caution and balance, and then a casual date with a new acquaintance will not turn into another disaster for you.
5. Keep your head
Unrequited love is a great reason to work 24 hours a day. The more time you devote to work or a hobby, the less time you have left for stupid thoughts and ridiculous love suffering. Set yourself a goal that will require you to exert your mind to achieve. Let it involve not just the need to devote an hour a day to it; it should take up all the free time. Turn into a mad scientist for a while or into a crazed businessman whose only goal is to realize his intentions. Of course, this should be done without compromising health and other important values; however, we believe the main idea is clear.
Over time, you will be able to kill two birds with one stone: and grow as a person, two heads ahead of your work colleagues or competitors; and gradually forget about failed love, making room for new happiness.
6. Take up yoga or meditation practices
Yes, maybe your immediate plans were not to become enlightened. But no wonder they say that yoga heals everything. Meditation and yoga practices are a great way to deal with psychological stress. Including breakup stress. It is best to engage in spiritual practices under the guidance of a mentor; since during meditation various reactions of the psyche may occur associated with the liberation of the unconscious from negative experience – anger, sadness, resentment, and so on. But on the other hand, the same effect allows you to get rid of painful experiences, clear your mind and calm down.
7. Redirect your feelings in a constructive way
Turn experiences into fuel for achievement in other areas. Unrequited or failed love is actually a complex of other states – passion, desire to be together, anger and aggression. A considerable place is given in this cocktail and dependence. All of these feelings, although implicitly, contain a very great potential. There may be bright and pure love in them, but there is not so much of it as is commonly believed.
And if you manage to ride this wild beast called “unrequited love”, and learn how to manage this energy, you can achieve impressive heights. There are many people who, after parting with their loved ones, defend doctoral dissertations, create their own business, and realize themselves in creativity.
How to stop loving: 7 ways proven by life?