How to support a male friend or boyfriend in a difficult difficult situation? Today, a man is the most vulnerable member of society. It is believed that the stronger sex is less emotional, not prone to anxiety, and duck tears in general are taboo.
Many studies have proven that men are as vulnerable and sensitive as women, upbringing and society makes them what it wants to see – a rock without feelings. In such harsh realities, the support of your beloved will become the most important thing in a relationship.
Anyone wants to be heard
Often a man simply does not even allow the thought of talking about his experiences. Someone fences off from the family, plunges into work, goes to bars. Others, on the contrary, are trying to say with all their looks that everything is fine – done gaiety, activity. Be sensitive to such changes in your partner in order to be there in time and help.
- Be careful what he says
Standard settings in par: on it is because of the milk, on one of which it is made. And it seems to suit both of them, until the man has something going on that needs to be shared.
Often women, if a partner has mentioned that as far as Well, betray this meaning – really wave °oodt
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- Gratitude
Say “thank you” for the person sharing with you. Trust me, it wasn’t easy. Tell me how you value that trust.
- Ask clarifying questions
How to support a man?
This is the main method of active listening that psychologists use. Thanks to this simple secret, the client feels himself to become a lover, a lover, a lover.
Use the expression: “gee talking about …
- Don’t try to get into your soul
Remember: your goal is to help, not to satisfy your own curiosity. Be ready, if your partner is not feeling well, to report that you are always ready to listen, even today, even tomorrow. If necessary, you can choose a place – a cafe or a park. No one asks not to say – accept. Believe me, sometimes this behavior is the best support.
- Be sincere
It worries me that you’re sad the last few days. because I don’t care.”
Lies are very easy to reveal, and you will not be able to play out those emotions that you do not experience for a long time.
- Don’t get discouraged
If you yourself slide into the state of a man, it will only get worse. A calm and confident person nearby is the best support. Prepare dinner as usual, make him coffee, create an atmosphere of calm so that he wants to go through a difficult period at home, and you do not aggravate his condition.
Biggest Mistake
Worst of all things are when a girl ignores or frankly belittles the problems of a man. From such “support” on will feel great helplessness, consider himself a weakling. For many men, the most terrible thing is that a woman saw his tears.
When your partner feels bad, you should convey to him with words or actions: “Yes, you feel bad, and that’s fine. You have the right to feel this way. And I will love and stay close, help with what I can. You are very important to me.”
Frank fear, hostility you have after the man shared his thoughts will lead to a split in the relationship, because it means that in a difficult moment you pushed him away.
Time to make decisions
Often, after living through an unpleasant situation, the time comes to decide something: look for a new job, establish a relationship.
On the one hand, you are a couple, and sometimes you solve problems together, if your role is reduced to being a box under the hood.
On the other hand, many women overdo it and begin to take responsibility for their partner’s life into their own hands. Add to that absurd – a woman openly declares that she knows better, she has experience, and he himself will not decide anything.
The position of a wise woman is to rejoice in the success of her lover, which is the main motivator for a man, to offer her help, and not force her, to believe in the independence and masculinity of a man. If you don’t feel that you can behave this way towards your partner, you should think about whether you definitely chose him for love?
When to sound the alarm?
Everyone has a difficult period. Sometimes, as in the case of illness and loss of loved ones, both of you are objectively in no way capable of correcting the situation. But each person deals with stress in their own way.
To speak out, express emotions, and go through all stages of acceptance is a healthy mechanism of the psyche. You should rather be alerted if a man does not react in any way to what is happening. In the case of serious upheavals, awareness and experience of all stages of grief can come in months, and if not, be prepared for this, all of the above tips will help in this case.
It is worth worrying when a person “freezes” in a state. Lies in bed for weeks, not responding to attempts to make contacts, or pretends to solve a problem, only to get rid of him.
If you couldn’t “get through”, at least move the situation a little or find joint ways to return to normal life, it’s time to connect his loved ones, because you are unlikely to cope alone.
Don’t worry about it. You don’t want to see it. Perhaps it is the best childhood friend who will get through to a man.
If joint efforts have not brought results, consult with a specialist. Perhaps the man himself will agree to talk to a psychologist without you. The main thing is to explain to him that you are worried, but you understand that he cannot tell you everything, because he loves, and it may be easier to discuss the situation with a person whom he will not see again.
In some cases, we can talk about depression and the need for drug treatment. You can contact a specialist first yourself, describe the symptoms, and only then decide whether it is necessary.
Your love is the main source of energy and strength that will help you overcome any obstacles. Remember that even the most difficult period will eventually end, and this test can strengthen your relationship. Always analyze what is happening: how would you feel in a partner’s situation and what would you like. After all, someday you will need his support.
