How to survive a breakup: 7 tips from psychologists? How to survive a breakup? This question will be relevant at all times – despite scientific and technological progress, people still have not invented a reliable way that would allow them to cope with painful emotions after a breakup. Feelings such as pain, rejection, sadness, and anger at parting are quite normal.
The bad thing is that if you give them free rein, then these emotions can destroy both life and health. Jane Greer, a psychologist in New York, emphasizes: “The mixture of negative emotions that you experience after a breakup deprives you of the inner energy for life and creativity. You feel depressed, lethargic. Sometimes it seems that if something else unpleasant happens, the remnants of strength will completely leave you. And it is no wonder that such a state is difficult to improve. But it is entirely possible to do so.”
Together with Jane Greer, today we’re going to look at a few strategies to help you feel like a better breakup ambassador.
How to survive a breakup: 7 tips from psychologists?
1. Chatting with friends
A friend invited you to a cafe for coffee? An old school friend invites you to play basketball? Do not under any circumstances give up on this. Studies show that those people who do not withdraw into themselves after a breakup feel much less alone. “It would seem that it is very simple to go to a cafe with someone or just take a walk. However, connecting with friends can significantly reduce stress and become a source of support, ”Greer emphasizes.
2. Intelligibility in social ties
“Without communication, of course, you cannot do now. But at the same time, try not to go to the other extreme, wasting your inner strength on everyone. If there are unpleasant people in your environment or, even worse, “energy vampires” – it is much better to avoid communicating with them. At least until you’ve recovered from the breakup. You do not yet have the hardiness that would allow you to be condescending to indifferent behavior, whining or rudeness. Give yourself time to heal – filter your surroundings.”
3. Eat Healthy Foods
Breakups often provoke the emergence of addictions – and often we are talking about either overeating or lack of appetite. During this period, pay special attention to the diet. Eat several servings of fruits and vegetables every day. Also, do not forget about proteins, whole grains. Sometimes you can afford to eat some dark chocolate. A complete diet will help to avoid depression and psychosomatic illnesses.
4. Use meditation apps
Sometimes the solutions are not as far away as they might seem. Now among the applications there are many programs designed specifically for meditators. “Spiritual practices are a great way to get rid of unpleasant thoughts and give the brain some rest,” explains Greer. “The application in this regard will serve you well. In it, you will record when, where and how much you meditated. So spiritual practice will become more serious, and the temptation to miss a day or two will become less.”
5. Create a favorite playlist
Music is great for changing the mood. In which direction – depends on what tracks are playing in your headphones. “To improve your psycho-emotional state, find the music that inspires you,” the psychologist recommends. “Many people make a big mistake. After parting or divorce, they sink into depression, and every day they listen to sad melodies, bursting into tears. As for me, these songs are more suitable for a funeral procession. But nothing of the kind happened to you – you are alive, you have arms and legs, all paths and possibilities are open to you. So find inspirational music and play it instead of sad tracks. During this period, any source of spiritual vigor is important for you – including music.
6. Give vent to emotions
“We all have day-to-day responsibilities to keep up with, no matter the upheaval in our personal lives,” Greer says. “However, keeping emotions in check will not work all the time. So sometimes give them free rein. Feel your grief; live it if required. The amount of time it takes to “mourn the loss” varies from person to person. One is enough to grieve one day; the next morning they are already going for a bike ride, as if nothing had happened. For others, a few years may not be enough. But in any case, try to give free rein to feelings – express them in tears, letters, pictures. Talking to a therapist or a priest, after all.”
7. Do what you love
At the end of her interview, Jane Greer gives one of the most important tips: to direct the focus of your attention to activities that interest you. “Relationships always take a lot of time; when a person remains free, he himself sometimes does not realize his happiness. Now you can do whatever you want – dance, learn a foreign language (or even several), devote enough time to sports. Thus, you yourself will not have time to look back, how you will find a new love. And besides, during this period you will be able to reach new heights in work, hobbies, personal development.