Each person, at certain life stages, makes prioritization. Some seek to build relationships and create a family. Others direct all forces and ENERGY into the working channel. Still others simply live for themselves, and they don’t really need anyone.
It also happens that a person tries to mix: relationships + work + personal hobbies + meetings with friends = an interesting and eventful life. And everything is fine until the necessary time proportion is observed. But when something from the priorities begins to demand more time for itself, and it needs to be taken away from other segments of life, a conflict arises.
If a man takes too long
Suppose a loved one began to insist that you see each other more often, but you are not ready to devote more time from time to time. You will be happy and you will love them, and they will be happy. And the more a man begins to push, the more you want to distance yourself from him, as from the main irritant.
No sole v tom, that, being afraid of offending a person, we cannot always speak directly to him. It’s even more difficult when you don’t want to break off relations, because a man, whatever one may say, is dear and loved, but you also don’t want to step on your throat with your desires and needs.
Or, even as an option – Relationships are more friendly, And the Man wants to take them to a new level, but you are not ready for this yet. Your psychologist friend “Samka” will come to the rescue and tell you how to properly “submit” information that you are not yet very interested in a serious relationship.
What is your man like?
First, let’s define what kind of man we are talking about. It could be:
- colleague
- good friend
- best friend
- the man you are already dating
In fact, we are talking about the fact that either you don’t have a serious relationship at all, or you do, but you need to pap on.
The second block will be the understanding of the “stuffing” of the relationship. Look, it’s one thing when a man wants to spend more time together, and it looks a little different when he wants to live together, with all the consequences: marriage and the birth of a child.
The third block highlights your feelings for a man, and what this relationship is for you.
Look, when you read these lines, certain insights have already gone, so to speak. So far, they are more like a rough sketch – that is, thoughts are not clearly formulated and chaotic. However, you can take them as small hints adapted to your particular case.
How to Tell a Colleague or Friend You Don’t Want a Relationship?
Definitely, there are factors that prevent a relationship from being transferred into a romantic direction. And let’s not forget about the changes that will happen in your life when you start dating. Again, it is important to take into account your attitude towards the person and how far you are in the future, you want to be with the thread.
I don’t want a relationship! Is it normal for this?
It is not without reason that we place emphasis on this: the answers will depend on how the “picture” looks as a whole.
- First, decide if you want to be with this person at all.
- Secondly, think about what is behind the reluctance to tell the truth: fear of offending and hurting; fear of losing a person forever; a man is perceived as an “alternate airfield”, like – if you don’t grow together with someone else, you can try with him.
If a man is not INTERESTED at all
In this case, everything is easy. The tips below will help you painlessly send a man off.
- I already have a relationship, we just do not advertise them.
- You and I are very different – why start something that sooner or later will lead us to parting.
- I didn’t want to confess to anyone, but I’m asexual, so we definitely won’t succeed.
- I’m sorry, but there is no sympathy for you – I like a different type.
- I still love my ex, so until I close the old relationship, there is no point in starting a new one.
Again, you can always say directly and harshly that you don’t like a person, and he has no chance at all.
If a man likes
It is not possible for you to be a drug, it is normal for you Можно сказать следующее:
- I propose to put the relationship on pause and not rush – give us time to take a closer look at each other, so that if it doesn’t grow together, we won’t lose friendly relations either. You are very nice to me, but I am afraid that we can spoil our friendship with relationships. Let’s wait a bit with the transition to a new, more serious level.
- I’m not ready for something yet – I simply don’t have time, I need to finish all the important projects and cases.
- I had a painful relationship that left its negative imprint. Agree, it’s stupid to start something new without completely freeing yourself from the burden of the old.
- I devote all my free time to my family. I’m not in a relationship right now. I propose to try, but not now, but a little later.
- I don’t believe in monogamous relationships, it seems that all men cheat. Let’s leave everything as it is for now, and time will put everything in its place.
- No hotel is arranged, it is not clear, it is no longer possible to understand the reasons for the race, and for the year. I don’t know about you, but personally I don’t believe in long-distance relationships, so I suggest not to rush things now.
How to tell the man you’re dating?
You meet, and up to a certain point everything suited you: pleasant romantic meetings several times a week, and maybe more, but you didn’t feel stressed – on the contrary, you managed to get bored and waited with anticipation for a date. And all this idyll lasted until the man wanted to move in together.
After carefully weighing everything and evaluating what inconveniences for you will be from such a rapprochement, you came to the conclusion that you are not ready to take this step now. No where not, how to correctly say about this man so that:
- do not offend;
- not hurt his feelings;
- do not quarrel with him;
- Don’t do it in the shower and go to my friends.
Of course, one can say directly, as they say, without embellishment of reality. No, try to get it, and it’s easy to talk about it. If this outcome does not suit you in any way, the tips below are just for you.
- I do not mind moving in, but there is one big snag – the lack of own housing. It is not rational to “throw away” money for a removable one. Let’s wait a little, save up for a down payment to get a mortgage.
- I love you, but I worry that our relationship will not pass the test of everyday life. Now I am not ready to pay attention to household chores. Let’s leave it as it is for now. My youth, and you are with you all your life ahead, why rush?
- On the other hand, it is important to remember that it is on the carcass. The family requires time for itself, and now I simply don’t have the right amount of it.
- Namely, it’s true and it’s horny: romantic, romantic, passion. Why voluntarily deprive themselves of this?
- If you really come together, then as official spouses. I categorically do not accept cohabitation. Like any girl, I want a beautiful wedding. And now we can’t afford it. Let’s wait a bit.
- I can’t move away from my parents right now – I need my support. I love you very much, but parents, there are parents, you can’t leave them at the moment when they are most important.
- I’m not ready to have a baby right now. As a rule, people marry to have a full-fledged family: dad, mom and child. I have some other plans for life.
- Prostitute, no introvert to the most costly. I need personal space, and it’s not about you, it’s about me.
As you could see for yourself, the topic is quite simple, but it is important to understand who a man is for you and why you are not ready for a relationship with him. Here a logical and interesting question arises: Do you not want a relationship with him, or do you generally do not want to get close to anyone?
For you, it’s like a hint. It is able to expose your priorities, or hidden pain points, which, like a wall, “protect” from relationships. In any case, whatever the answer, it is able to bring you closer to understanding yourself. You will learn to understand yourself – you will be extremely surprised how easy it will be to find answers to some questions.
