How to understand that you go on dates through force?

Naturally, we all want to be friends with those who can become our potential partners – it’s hard to eat sweets at 3 a.m. or arrange a drunken viewing of a new series with a person with whom nothing but bed connects. However, there is something vicious in a relationship where it seems to you that the one who is sitting in front of you right now at a table in a cafe is as dear as your best friend or brother.

Listen to your feelings: try to figure out if you see a companion for sex in a companion, if you have romantic feelings for him. The heart does not beat faster after fantasies – try your luck with another. History repeats itself for the third, fifth, tenth time – take a timeout.

There is nothing wrong with opening the door to the world of your hobbies for a new acquaintance. However, if you now and then cosplay the narcissistic Kanye West, this is a reason to sound the alarm.

Let the person know that you really liked him (if so, of course): let him talk about his interests. The same applies to the mention of potential partners – it is unlikely that the companion will want to know that he is another Petya on your list, with whom you can drink wine on Friday evening. If you spend time with a person just to avoid being alone, let’s ask the obvious question: why do you even make appointments with someone who is not interesting to you? It’s better to spend a couple of hours on improving the skill of self-love than watching another guy who didn’t hook anything.

Paradoxically, however, those who do not really want to go on a date talk about it at the dinner itself with a companion. Veiled, true, but still: they lament about how typical romance got them with candy-bouquet periods, awkward kisses, drawn-out meetings at the cinema or cafe. Did you notice the same thing? Run honey, run for mom and dad – you should take a break from your pretty boring Tinder matches.

For example, when a small bottle of sparkling wine already lives in you, hitting your head – the rest of the time you may not perceive your companion as a potential partner. In such cases, we advise you to be distracted by other activities: you can confuse the guy and mix in your mind all the pros and cons of dating later, but the picture by numbers won’t draw itself, and the long-abandoned hobby won’t be fulfilled without your help either…

Some may take the advice imposed by female gender socialization too explicitly, but this is already a case worthy of another article. If you don’t write first, don’t initiate meetings or calls on Snapchat, you may just be tired of your partner: this is normal. What is not natural is to meet him through force. Take a break for a week or two, write to a potential partner that he is a good person, but you are not on the way, and take time for yourself. Now for you, such a step may turn out to be much more important than wasting time on an uninteresting person.

Relevant for those who met a satellite through mutual friends. You do almost everything together: arrange fights in the Munchkin for friends, go to open-airs in a noisy company, arrange parties for the whole office. But for some reason, a strange feeling creeps up from the thought that you will have to be alone. It seems that everyone around has long understood that a good couple will come out of you, only you yourself don’t feel anything for him. Think about whether you really see a partner in a person. If not, don’t delay breaking up the relationship.

The guys change one after another, and the approximate topics of conversation remain the same: “What are you fond of?”, “What do you want from life?”, “Where do you work?”…. If over time you realize that meetings with satellites turn into a conveyor for weeding out unsuitable companions – breathe in, breathe out and, for heaven’s sake, take a break! It’s much easier to admit that you don’t really want to go on a date than to realize that out of desperation you are dating a person who turned out to be the lesser of two evils. How to understand that you go on dates through force?