How to understand yourself – what do you need and learn how to do it better? Relationships are real work, the reward for which is the happy interaction of two mature people. Entering into communication, you must be clearly aware of what you are doing and why. Also, building relationships, it is desirable to see the path of their development. But often we get lost in a friend of a person and in ourselves. How to overcome misunderstanding of yourself in a relationship, we will consider further.
On the way to a happy future
To begin with, let’s figure out what it is – a true understanding of oneself. Personality in the process of its development (from an early age and throughout life) goes through many stages.
First, the child is fully aware of himself, he knows what he wants and sees no barriers to satisfying his desires.
With age, with a certain type of upbringing and living conditions, the self-attitude of the individual is corrected. And it happens that parents, not wanting evil, contribute to the development of misunderstanding:
- Too strict parents Force the child to live according to their charters, which ultimately leads to the fact that the person does not know what he wants.
Problems that arise in the moment of self-determination – 16-18 years;
- too soft parents, on the contrary, contribute to permissiveness, which also harms.
If you listen to someone who is interested in it
How not to lose yourself in a relationship with a man?
- parents who are not interested in their attitude destroy any desire in the child.
He becomes passive.
Determine what kind of parents you had, and you can easily find the problem of the formation of your self-understanding. If misunderstanding does not allow you to live in peace, then in addition to interpersonal problems, such as quarrels with a partner, intrapersonal conflicts may also arise.
The main question that arises for most Girls who do not understand themselves is to stay in this relationship or seek happiness with another. To get started on your path to self-determination, answer a series of questions:
- who is the most important in your life: children, husband, mother, work, etc.?
- how far from the main thing are you yourself on the list of priorities?
- Do you have any idea where your current relationship is heading?
Because so many of us live by putting ourselves aside and focusing instead on meeting the needs of others, you may find it selfish to put yourself first. You have only one life, and you need to live in accordance with your ideals and values.
If you are not in the first place, then it is necessary to work on the correction of self-acceptance. It is the attitude towards itself and plays a decisive role in understanding. If everything is in order with your self-esteem, then personal communications are unlikely to reach a dead end.
If you lost yourself in a relationship
Dissolution in relationships often leads to misunderstanding. So, in order not to quarrel with a partner, you can hush up quarrels and grievances, not respond to his comments on his lips. However, love relationships are always associated with conflicts, since they allow you to protect personal boundaries.
If you smooth things over and your partner’s interests take precedence over yours, then you may end up losing touch with yourself and thus losing understanding of yourself in the relationship.
By the way, misunderstanding often leads to a break. It is difficult to build a happy future with someone who does not know what life wants. That is why your partner will read this information and gradually move away.
What to do if you do not understand yourself and your desires?
If you realize that you have ceased to understand your personality, feelings, and actions, then you should take a break. Pronounce the name and the situation in nothing:
- think about how much joy relationships bring you.
As long as you put it in the room, it is possible to understand it – if the list of bugs and the list of them is on the wall. In one write down all the positive aspects of your relationship, and in the other – the negative. So, having put everything on the shelves, the conclusion is much easier to make;
- after analyzing the relationship, think about who you are for your partner: little girl, lover, mother, partner.
The ideal option is when partnership communications are built, since other types without a solid foundation are destructive;
- talk to a partner, find out acute problems and report that you have ceased to understand yourself in a relationship.
Together, the problem is easier to see, besides, perhaps your boyfriend already has some ideas about this;
- if you feel that it is emotionally difficult to endure a conversation, then take a break – go to rest, change
This will allow you to get all unnecessary rubbish out of your head and leave time for a constructive analysis of your attitude.
By the way, misunderstanding in a relationship originates in a misunderstanding of oneself as a person. This is a kind of mistake of the subconscious, with the imprint of educational features. Such cognitive dissonance is easily overcome through work with a psychologist.
The basis of the work is the emergence of interest in one’s inner world and the search for answers to questions: what makes me happy, what I regret, etc. In addition, awareness of needs comes through working with your body. The body is an excellent assistant both in diagnosis and in work on oneself.
Spend some time learning what your body is telling you:
- does the stomach shrink?
- is there a light inside?
- when thinking about self-understanding in which part of the body there is an answer and what it is: presses, tickles, etc.
On the other hand, this is done in the next practice, so that you can sign up for the message. The following tips will help you learn to take yourself seriously:
- medicine and telepractice in relation to the physical master.
There are exercises aimed at awareness of one’s own breath, body, thoughts. Choose any – they all lead to a more complete disclosure of your potential, self-actualization;
- long walks in quiet places alone or with your soulmate.
They help relieve tension, work out chaotic thoughts in the head;
- practice advocacy.
Start small, then proceed to more rigorously enclose your space;
- look at your own history.
Have you had to adjust too much in these relationships. If it is in them that you no longer understand yourself, then the partner negatively affects your self-esteem.
Carrying out work on the correction of self-perception, do not rush to break off relationships. Remember – first the diagnosis, and only then the already considered and balanced decisions. It is not possible to see it, it is necessary to work on this topic and it is not so important in
Thus, misunderstanding of oneself in relationships originates from an unstable awareness of the personality of its inner “I” and its own needs. Correction of self-attitude is carried out by a competent specialist, but you can do something at home.