Husband constantly calls mom – psychologist’s comment? Do you want it? How to react to it? Normally this is not? Is he a friend of a sissy? Can this be fixed?
In order to answer these questions, we must first understand the reasons.
What is the reason?
To understand whether this is normal or not, you need to analyze the context of the situation and the nature of the relationship between men and women.
So that the psychologists can see the minimum 5 pennies:
- problem situation;
- manipulative mother;
- male addiction;
- sense of anxiety;
- trusting relationship between a man and his mother.
A man’s attention to his mother can be caused by objective circumstances in which he does not always cook tebwano. This may be an illness, problems with other members of the family, a crisis in relations between parents, betrayal of hiso-ko.
Takored may be housing issues, financial difficulties, in implole
On the one hand, the mublyina wants to support, on the other hand, she wants to hold her “hand on the pulse” so that the manifestations of naut. In this case, frequent calls to the mother are a completely normal reaction.
No one is immune from toxic parents. They are not ready to lose their influence on loved ones.
If she is bored, if she is used to controlling everything, does not want to psychologically “let go” of her son from herself, then calls and a constant desire to communicate are an attempt to maintain power over him, because he is the meaning of life for her.
Postoyanno talks about imaginary health problems, arranges a “Drama” if her son does not call her. She manipulates his feelings, shifts responsibility for her mood, health onto him, tries to call him out.
A man’s mom comes first! Can a man’s mother ruin your relationship?
In this case, the man develops an adaptive behavior model: it’s easier to call her than to listen to how “bad” he is or how she called an ambulance because her blood pressure jumped.
The man has the type of “mama’s boy.” On has not yet been able to separate from his mother, that is, he has not gained psychological independence.
Perhaps the mother is the main person in his life, he makes any decision only with her approval, he is ready to rush to her for any reason and without. In this case, his frequent calls are only a consequence of psychological dependence on another person.
Deep down, he himself suffers from this, but cannot or does not know how to cope with it. In addition to that, it is not normal and the budget will be available on two occasions, so that it is possible to test it.
Sense of anxiety
A man often communicates with his mother because he feels fear that something will happen to her, that she will fall ill, accidentally harm herself, open the door to scammers, and so on. In addition to the three words that are present on the day, you are not given the opportunity:
- negative experience – fell into trouble, fell, gave someone a dayhood, forgetting to turn off the gene sections those sections
- defenselessness of the mother – if she is in old age, does not think well, lives alone, etc .;
- childhood psychological trauma in a man – perhaps he once experienced a situation that formed in him an irrational fear that something bad could happen to his mother;
- sense of responsibility – a man is convinced that he is responsible for the well-being and quality of life of his elderly mother.
A trusting relationship between a man and his mother
Oddly enough, it never occurs to many of you that, by and large, call up with ^ parenthood
Perhaps a man and his mother have a strong trusting relationship based on respect and equality. They can be friends, it is interesting for them to communicate with each other, share their opinions, support emotionally.
At the same time, no one suppresses anyone, does not violate personal boundaries, does not manipulate. Then this suggests that the man is fine with affection, he is independent of the opinions of others, and attention to family members is part of his value system.
Is it normal? How to understand?
It depends not only on the reason why a man often calls his mother, but also on the quality of their communication. If you want to know about the project:
- Does he report to her or just talks about his affairs?
- Does he let her in on the details of your personal life or do they talk about books, movies, the country house?
- Does the mother interfere with your family or personal boundaries, and understand what is the hour?
- his mother is not trying to control your life?
- a man and his mother are not trying to manipulate each other?
- Is it possible that the subject isn’t there?
- does he prioritize his mother over being with you?
- Are you not aware of the fact that it is private?
By answering these questions, you will understand whether frequent calls to the mother should be a cause for concern.
It is possible that their communication only characterizes him as an attentive, responsible person who understands the value and importance of caring for elderly parents.
Is there something to be done
Putting forward ultimatums, demanding something is an unproductive position that will definitely not go to the Polish side.
First, talk to the man and try to understand the reason for his frequent calls. Listen to how he talks about her, understand his feelings and analyze what is behind them – the dependence of a sissy or a conscious position of an adult.
Set boundaries. Agree that he does not tell his mother about your personal problems with him, conflicts, family details
Also, if you are uncomfortable with such calls, you can arrange for him to make them during work, or while standing in a traffic jam on the way home.
If ction m dependencies m m m and manipulating, then it’s worth thinking about why the eons are you vyvytor What is behind them, what is the feeling? Perhaps jealousy for a man or a slight resentment towards his parents.
Sometimes such a relationship may seem strange, funny, and cause anxiety to another person. In implosis, the reason for this is that she herself has a cooler relationship with her parents.
And neither good nor bad. Kavoi has a relationship with skis, its own history, its own wear gender or negative
It’s a good idea not to let your choices affect the relationship, which is probably not the case. section If the mother is not a toxic person and the man is a completely independent person, the number of calls is not that important.
Perhaps it is his good relationship with his mother that shows how high the value of the family is for him. This suggests that he will also be attentive to you and your children.