I found my husband’s correspondence with other girls – what to do with mistresses? Bitterness of resentment, pain, fear, disappointment, anger and unfulfilled dreams. A woman experiences all this when she finds her husband’s correspondence with another. Mir seems to be collapsing, thoughts are confused and it is impossible to understand what to do next.
The main thing is to keep your head cool
If you are faced with a similar situation, you should not make decisions in the heat of the moment, take all actions only when emotions subside, and you can carefully and deliberately approach the issue.
Everyone has heard more than once that it is wrong to look for information on the husband’s phone. However, the situations are different.
Perhaps you accidentally discovered unpleasant facts, or perhaps you wanted to find something yourself. In any case, there is no point in blaming yourself for this. Everything has already happened.
The nature of the correspondence matters, because there is a huge difference between light flirting and communication on the topic of already existing close relationships between a husband and another woman. Therefore, before making a scandal and showdown, it is worth understanding in more detail the current situation.
What not to do when you find a correspondence
Panic will get you nowhere. You will only waste the energy and strength that you need so much now.
- Don’t make responsible decisions.
Talk about a divorce, collecting things should be postponed until the whole situation is clarified. And after a while, your opinion can change drastically.
- Do not sort things out with the “rival”.
Don’t stop there and it’s worth it to you. Threatening and scaring, all the more not worth it. Your Husband is solely responsible for the correspondence before you, After all, he decided to enter into a dialogue, no one forced him, but he didn’t force him, but he didn’t force him.
- No manipulator.
It is not stoit to blackmail a husband with children, domestic moments. Stop cooking dinner or stop doing laundry for him is not the right strategy. It can only make your relationship worse.
What steps should be taken immediately after the correspondence is detected?
- Give yourself time.
It is worth digesting what you have learned, putting it in your head. By the way, it’s not like that, it’s not like that. Emotionally you will need it, and it will be mystic rather than strategically.
- Restore calm.
A storm of emotions boiling inside you does not allow you to sleep, think, work normally? It is worth trying to find peace. To relieve acute STRess, meditations based on the restoration of breathing, sports and walks to the sky are used.
If the correspondence is an innocent flirtation, perhaps the situation will normalize itself and the husband will decide to refuse such communication. This happens if a man responded to the initiative of a woman who wanted to communicate, but then he realized that he was eating.
If the correspondence is about more personal relationships, a pause is needed only in order to understand how the action is.
- Think of a plan of action.
When your internal state has returned to normal, think about how you will build a frank conversation, what exactly you want to convey to your partner. You should stop the process of resolving the problem, and give it to yourself.
The man is chatting with other women. What to do?
- Choose the right setting for the conversation.
It is better to retire so that no one bothers you. After all, if at the moment of the conversation there are children running nearby and constantly asking for something to help, the conversation may not bring the desired result. Ask your husband if he can give you time, then it’s only worth starting a conversation.
- Calmly tell your husband what you know about the correspondence.
Staraisya this is not in front of the pretense, in a simple to the known fact. Be confident and decisive. No emojiam and zhelaniya ustroit skandal.
- Find out why this happened, what specifically prompted him to correspond with another.
Perhaps he is missing something in your relationship. Unfortunately, men do not like to talk about their feelings and what is inside, so he can be closed, and not able to speak frankly.
- Tell me about your feelings.
It is also worth talking about feelings without losing self-control. Talk about how unpleasant it was for you, share what you are experiencing now. See how he reacts to your frankness. Tell them that you don’t want to be in that situation because it hurts you.
- Ask him what he plans to do.
Since correspondence is his responsibility, he will have to unravel this story. Sometimes a woman herself takes everything into her own hands: she deletes messages, calls her “rival”, looks for the reason in herself. However, it would be right if the husband himself thinks about how your family can get out of the situation.
- Give your husband time.
Men talk less than women; their brains are wired differently. They need more time to formulate thoughts and decisions. Therefore, it is possible that during the current conversation he will not be ready to immediately give answers. Give him some time, don’t pressure him.
- Don’t forget that everyone makes mistakes.
During the conversation, we should not forget that we are not perfect, all without exception, so you should treat your husband as a person who stumbled, but is able to fix everything. Even if it will be difficult for you to come to terms with the events, it will still be necessary to forgive, because it is difficult and destructive to bear grievances behind you.
- prime decision.
If the situation is limited to what is available, it is necessary to know what is inside and what is available. You should understand that both of you will now have to change the relationship, work on it. After all, otherwise, you will return to the same point from which you are trying to leave now.
What kind of work should be done on yourself?
No matter what decision you make and where this truth leads, you should work on yourself. And it’s not about the fact that you are “bad” and you need to change.
As a rule, husbands begin to correspond in the case when a woman shifts the focus of attention from a man to a child. To sum up, this is normal and wine in this two, not small. It’s just that the family is being transformed and not all participants are ready for such changes.
Another reason may be that a woman is so immersed in the role of wife and mother that she forgets about herself. She devotes little time to herself, does not save her strength, is given without a trace to domestic issues. Terya svoy zhenski energy, ey prosto nechego dat svoemu to a man.
In the meantime, the topic is written as follows:
Even if you began to devote little time to your husband, there is no point in blaming yourself for this. It’s just that circumstances have developed in such a way that life required changes. Moreover, relationships are the work of two people, therefore, and responsibility belongs to both.
- Make time for your hobbies.
Remember what used to bring you pleasure. Take the time to dedicate a little of yourself to these activities. Any hobby contributes to pleasant, positive emotions.
- Take care of yourself.
Spend more time alone with yourself. This is not necessarily a trip to a beauty salon, you can devote time to yourself at home. But don’t neglect this point, because if you don’t Love yourself, Others won’t want to love and take care of you either.
Allow yourself more. Who, if not you, will allow yourself what you really want. On the pot and drug, it is only possible to use it in two ways.
- Develop your feminine energy.
Dancing, yoga, swimming contribute to the femininity of your body. Cooking, cooking, cooking – other dishes for cooking and cooking. Dushevnye positions with the support that you need to know and you want to have in Zhensk and at the heart of the atmosphere.
Changing the focus from a stressful situation to yourself makes it possible to unload your thoughts a little, helps you realize your true desires and helps you make the right decision. It’s time to remember yourself, because the most valuable value is yourself.