The indifference of a man to a woman and his signs: why the partner is cold? Indifference is a feeling that is expressed in a complete loss of interest in something. In a relationship, indifference is expressed in the absence of a pronounced emotional contact with a partner. An indifferent person behaves coldly, aloofly, without initiative, he does not show interest in a partner.
When there was indifference?
It is believed that the antonym of love is not hatred at all, but indifference. Relationships in which partners are indifferent to each other are almost impossible to restore. No unless you take the plane, it is possible to poke it. Before putting an end to a relationship with an indifferent man, you need to understand what the nature of his indifference is.
First of all, you need to answer the question – when did indifference appear? When did he start treating you coldly? If you ask for three different versions:
- the man was initially quite cold in a relationship;
- a man is sometimes cold, sometimes emotionally involved in a relationship;
- the man was emotionally involved for a long time, and then suddenly became indifferent.
Understanding the nature of indifference fundamentally depends on what the answer will be.
The man was initially cold in the relationship
The first option is when a man is initially and always cold in a relationship, but at the same time he builds these relationships, supports them, and you see that he needs them. This behavior can be explained by a number of simple reasons.
The man moved away: what is the reason and how to behave?
The first, most common reason is a stereotypical attitude that is imposed on him by society or parents. Be discreet, be serious, you’re an adult now, don’t act like a “girl”. If a child is told this way all childhood, then it begins to seem to a person that the manifestation of feelings is unacceptable for a long time. And now, as an adult, he simply does not know how to do it.
To understand whether a man has such an attitude, you just need to look at his father. And how does he behave? Perhaps on the same reserved and cold. In this case, indifference in the relationship has nothing to do with you and is not even a threat to the relationship. For a man, this behavior is considered normal.
The second reason for constant indifference may be … the absence of this indifference. It sounds paradoxical, but it’s true. But it isn’t possible, it isn’t possible to develop an emoji, it isn’t possible, it’s not possible. If you don’t know, that’s what it is. Why is this happening? Maybe you just show love to each other in different ways.
Ways of showing love
- verbal manifestation – confessions, compliments, conversations, letters;
- financial manifestation is not only gifts or financial support, many men stay late at work not because they do not want to return home, but because they want to take care of their family by providing them with material support;
- time is something we often forget, although the time we spend with each other is also a manifestation of love;
- help – when we help a partner in everything and thereby show our care;
- physical contact – sex, hugs, even holding hands.
Each person shows love in their own way. A man may not talk about love, but at the same time he is always ready to help you, spends a lot of time with you, supports you financially. In this case, the fact that he does not confess his love and does not make compliments does not mean at all that he does not love you. Analyze the ways your partner shows love.
The third reason for the initial and constant coldness of a man may be that you have a different need for intimacy, for contact. To ensure that the temperature, internally and externally, is used. A man who needs to show his love once a week will seem cold and distant in the eyes of a woman who is used to the fact that in a relationship love should be shown every day and several times. In this case, the man does not even understand that he “does not give” you love.
A man is sometimes cold, sometimes emotionally involved
The second option is a little more difficult. Usually, in this case, indifference acts as a way of manipulation. With his coldness or detachment, a man can express his displeasure with something. This is how the German testament is: it is flat, and it is not possible to change it. Or emotional blackmail from the position of a strong adult: You are not behaving the way I want, so I stop loving you.
Mothers usually say this: don’t eat porridge, I won’t play with you. The goal is to make you feel guilty. When you decide that you did something wrong, you will begin to try to atone for your guilt, to appease the peasants.
Such coldness is usually superficial, feigned. The man only pretends to be indifferent, when in fact he is EMOtionally involved in the relationship.
In such a case, you should not categorically accuse a man of being a “liar and a manipulator.” It may very well be that he does this unconsciously, he was accustomed to that manipulation from childhood. Then on worked, so and will work now. No need to ask for it.
What to do in such a situation? It is necessary to bring a man to a constructive conversation between two adults. Through active listening, without pretensions and accusations, and through “I-statements”. I can see that you are upset about something. It upsets me too. This situation depresses me. Let’s talk to you.
This way you can resolve the conflict. If you stop “feeding” his grievances, then eventually he will get rid of this habit, because he will understand that this way of behavior does not bring the desired result.
The man suddenly became permanently indifferent
This is the most difficult situation. Initially, everything was fine, the period of falling in love was bright and emotional. But time passed. He has become cold and indifferent to you, he is not interested in what is happening between you. Perhaps He was swallowed up by everyday problems, perhaps there were too many Conflicts between you, and he stopped wasting his strength on resolving them. Maybe his feelings just faded away.
How to be in such a situation?
First, it is necessary in a calm, confidential atmosphere, when both of you have time, when you are not tired, to sit down and talk about what is happening between you. Where is your relationship heading? Why don’t they develop? Do you still have some kind of relationship or is it just a habit? Perhaps there is some fundamental, total problem in your relationship that destroys them? What conclusion you come to will determine what to do next.
Secondly, if specific problems are resolved, but the feelings just faded away, you need to fall in love with each other again. In psychology, there are many ways to do this.
Thus, indifference in relationships is a complex phenomenon that requires deep analysis. It does not always lead to a break. You need to understand the reasons for indifference, and act on this basis. Then there is always a chance to return the old feelings.