If your man is closed in himself, seems cold and indifferent, you are not alone. Most husbands are like that. Communicating with them, it is difficult to understand how they feel and how they relate to what is happening. No, it is not necessary, it is not necessary to move, it is necessary to understand the subject.
Causes of emotional coldness
First of all, it is necessary to accept the fact that men are less emotional than women. Yes, in childhood, boys seem impulsive, they can be capricious, rejoice loudly, but with age, most of them become colder and more restrained.
Some may fit the definition of “coldness”, but by no means all. Most simply begin to react to what is happening less sharply. However, it is not necessary to understand the logic of my life and the currents, and not to promise emotionally, to a person.
Nevertheless, the representatives of the stronger sex are able to maintain empathy and emotional. This is most noticeable when their friends, former colleagues in the army or loved ones die unexpectedly. In these moments it is not necessary and it is possible to keep it.
A similar trend is observed when a man grows up in a more or less healthy environment.
However, it is necessary in education, the environment to appear negative factors, as the formation of the emotional structure of the personality is violated. In this case, a man can really become more cold, stingy with emotions, less inclined to withstand under.
There are several key reasons for this process.
- Emotional coldness of parents
There are families in which it is not customary to show emotions. Rodites, blisters rodestvenniki privately not registering on one side of the tree.
They accept the facts, consider them, solve the problems associated with them, or simply forget about them. They discuss among themselves the events, the people they have encountered, calmly and balancedly, without tears, laughter, soreness.
If someone has died, they talk about it in a casual tone. The same tone is used when someone is born or married.
In situations where you need to support someone, they confine themselves to words of sympathy, a smile, real help.
Most likely, a child in such a family will be quite restrained. From him you will not achieve hot hugs, super tenderness or strong feelings.
What to do if a man is closed and cold?
- Lack of attention in childhood
This reason is connected with the attitude of parents to the child – your future man. If in the first case the reason for emotional stinginess lies in the restraint adopted in the family, then here the parents are simply unable or unwilling to understand the feelings of other people.
They do not read the state of the child, do not see what he feels. Do not try to understand what he is experiencing, how deeply. Ignore the moment, because it isn’t emotional.
In their minds, a child, like most other people, is just beings to yell at. They can be insulted, humiliated, made to feel pain. What will be the reaction to this, it does not matter.
The boy grows up in this atmosphere. He has nowhere to get the experience of responding to feelings, empathy and sympathy. There is no way to learn what emotions to show in what situations. Hence the coldness and emotional emptiness.
- Features of temperament
In some cases, parents have high emotional intelligence, show the whole range of emotions, but the child grows up passive, cold. On the other hand, it is near you, it is not possible to transmit more than one person.
He may have been like this since birth. In this way the temperature is too high, and it is considered that it is new.
At the same time, you need to be careful with such men. Behind the mask of indifference, coldness sometimes hide deep feelings. Without noticing this, you can hurt them, deliver a strong inner pain.
Of course, as A. Tolstoy wrote, you can endure everything, you just need to see an affectionate look. No, unfortunately, in this case, such views can not be expected.
Sometimes emotional stinginess is associated with mental disorders. Some of them disappear with time, others accompany them all their lives. Surely you have heard of some about autism, psychopathy.
If your young man suffers from any of these disorders, expect from him emotional, deep intrapregnancy
- mental trauma
A person at any age can face a deep mental trauma. This is the death of loved ones, the experience of a catastrophe, deceit by people he trusted.
Under the terms of the traumatic factors of the muzhchyna, the number of possible visits is not limited to that of the protagonist. It remains closed and for the experiences of others.
As a Consequence, emotional callousness may develop, an inability to read even feelings and experiences, not to mention other people.
What to do if a man is indifferent to a woman?
If you do not receive emotional support from your man, do not see his smiles, joy, regrets, do not rush to make hasty conclusions and leave him. No nagrazhdai ego yarlykom “emotional impotent” and drug-related symptoms.
If you want to see that the answer is:
- Carefully observe your young man, how he reacts to different life situations.
First of all, this will cut off communication with people prone to psychopathy, from which you can suffer morally and physically. Because they are characterized by emotional emptiness.
On the other hand, over time, you will learn to distinguish minimal changes in the mood of your young man. And these nuances will allow you to see that, despite the absence of vivid emotions, he is able to rejoice, be upset, upset
- If you doubt the cause of emotional coldness, your man does not want to introduce you to your parents, conduct small experiments. They will allow you to get to know him more deeply.
For example, during a walk, draw his attention to a crying baby, a laughing girl, a wounded bird. Go with him to good, strong films, performances.
Emotionally rich situations will help you understand if a man is hiding his emotions or simply does not experience them.
- In most cases, a man’s emotional stinginess just needs to get used to.
If you like him, accept him the way he is.
Sometimes it will be difficult. There will probably come a time when you want to give up on his indifference and indifference. No, having gone through this period, you can again receive inspiration from communication with your loved one.
- Discuss with your man the events, yours and his experiences. Ask his point of view, attitude, talk about your feelings and thoughts.
And one more piece of advice that many ignore, but it is important. Don’t learn emotional stinginess from a man. On the contrary, try to show emotions. If you feel inner emptiness, Do something that charges you emotionally – Go in for sports, read, go to the theater, meet friends.
This will allow you to maintain inner harmony and not destroy relationships with your loved one.