Is it worth it to forgive betrayal: we make a decision by finding out the reason. Falling in love each of us becomes a little naive. Light feelings inspire, allow you to feel the feeling of flight and happiness. I would like the romantic fairy tale not to end as long as possible. Unfortunately, any relationship changes over time. The hormones are to blame, and sometimes the people themselves, who do not know how to take care of their love. We often end up with betrayal as a result. Here the urgent problem is already acute – is it worth it to forgive treason.
Is it worth it to forgive betrayal: we make a decision by finding out the reason.
Perhaps everyone at least once imagined the tragic situations that in any case will change the relationship. But it’s one thing to fantasize, and it’s completely different to survive the betrayal of a loved one in real life. Here it is rarely possible to keep the noble face of the all-forgiving deity.
Not everyone can forgive betrayal. Even if it seems to you that strong feelings overcome all obstacles, this is not always the case. Therefore, we will try to talk about why men and women cheat. What for? Understanding the reasons will be a good platform for deciding whether to keep or end the relationship.
Secondly, let’s figure out what ways you can overcome resentment and improve the climate in a couple. And of course, we will pay attention to the question of whether it is worth forgiving treason. It is very important to observe the behavior of a partner, because sometimes people strive to earn forgiveness just for the sake of convenience, comfort, and at least some stability in life. It is a pity to admit it, but not only for the sake of love, your chosen one can beg for mercy.
Why does a man cheat?
There is an opinion that a man is by nature a polygamous creature. Yes, intelligent and evolved. But animal nature and primitive instincts are almost impossible to keep. You can adhere to such a theory, justifying a man. But we strongly advise against doing so.
Each of us has willpower, reason and self-control. Psychologists say that in any state, even the most drunk, a person controls his instinct for intercourse with a member of the opposite sex. The point is that if you cheated, then periodically this thought slipped through your mind.
Let’s analyze the most frequent impulses that direct men to adultery.
- The desire to try something unknown
More often than other reasons, men name the following as an incentive to change. They claim that they just wanted to diversify the already rather boring stability of relations. It seems that he still loves his wife. She is a good person, a reliable shoulder. But there is no longer a spark of passion. Butterflies do not fly in the stomach, so to speak.
Here the man begins to think that it would be interesting to try something else. He looks around and sees such a picture. Friends through one have a mistress, or even several girls with whom you can have fun. At the same time, the wives suspect absolutely nothing.
And then the feeling enters the arena that a man is an alpha male, for whom one missus is not enough. Especially provoked to exploits are the same friends and colleagues. Each gathering in the bar is certainly accompanied by stories about their fun erotic adventures. A man who does not cheat on his chosen one looks rather pale in such conversations. Some will simply invent a story about treason, while others will happily rush after unfaithful comrades.
Also, many men are looking for new interesting acquaintances just for the sake of dating. They have little interest in continuing relationships with ladies. A short meeting is enough. The main thing that a male gets from such a spree is the attention of a new woman. In this way, guys just feed their self-esteem.
Particularly affected by this type of betrayal are relationships that began at a very young age. Young people, and women too, feel the need for comparison. They have chosen a person who suits them completely. But it’s so interesting what the neighbor has there. Especially when you have never crossed paths in bed with someone else in your life.
- Wife doesn’t respect
Now we will voice one of the most unpleasant and offensive reasons for infidelity for women. We are talking about total disrespect and humiliation of his chosen one. Yes, yes, a man is not always ready to obey an imperious person. And the lady commander strives to take the right to vote for herself.
Just think how often in our country a woman tries to pull the blanket over herself. She lives with a normal man. And at one moment he turns into a weak-willed creature, an alcoholic or simply unemployed. At this point, a woman often does not realize that her guilt in such changes is much greater than it seems to her at first glance.
So, is it worth it to forgive the betrayal of her husband? In some cases, where the spouse acted as an indirect motivator, this may be appropriate. Imagine that a woman systematically humiliates her husband. She regularly makes claims to him, comparing their family life with the life of acquaintances. She is not satisfied with the level of income, the style of clothing, the decisions made, the manner of speaking. In general, men call such attacks with the laconic word “nag”.
Tortured by humiliation, a man hides his emotions for a long time. His self-esteem slowly sinks to the bottom. Then insight comes – sex with another woman who, even for a moment, will notice a real man in him.
- The puzzle didn’t fit
There may be two options here. The simplest and most banal is the mismatch of sexual temperaments of partners. Perhaps the man and wife met in their youth. At such a time, almost everyone does not deny themselves the joy of having sex.
Then people start to get worried. More often they say that wives deny their husbands intimacy under various pretexts. A man wants to feel like a male. His level of libido and need for sex exceed the limit set by his wife. He just finds a more active girl for intimate pleasures. With his beloved lady of the heart, he continues to simply harmoniously coexist on the same territory.
The second situation is marriage for non-love reasons. For example, men marry those who accidentally become pregnant by them. After years of living together with the unloved, he accidentally meets the same one. Should we forgive this kind of betrayal?
It’s up to you to decide. But psychologists say that delaying a divorce has a detrimental effect on the psyche of young children. They will grow up much happier if they feel the love of their parents for themselves and mutual respect. This is much better than a full-fledged family where mom and dad hate each other.
Why will a woman change?
A woman can change for the same reasons as a man. This happens often, but we will outline the features of female adultery. By the way, according to sociological surveys, it turns out that male infidelity is a more frequent thing than women’s. However, women themselves are not always ready to honestly answer the topic of their personal lives, even if it is an anonymous study.
- Man pays no attention
The reason for female infidelity is misunderstanding and lost attention from a life partner. The situations are completely different, and the ending they have is the same. Here are a few possible scenarios. If you recognize yourself, immediately start looking for a way out. Otherwise, the relationship in your couple may come to naught in the foreseeable future.
The first case – a man becomes a workaholic. Perhaps he does not realize that he may lose his beloved. Very often, the head of the family decides to set off in pursuit of prosperity. And a woman just wants family happiness, heart-to-heart talk. After some time, she is quite capable of committing treason.
Is it worth it to forgive betrayal if the lady of the heart was abandoned and forgotten by you? For a man, forgiveness is not an easy process. Women come across much less often, because their actions are more planned and thought out. If the spouse also feels guilty in the situation that has occurred, then you can try to work on the mistakes. Often the family can be saved, and the relationship returns to a period of love and passion.
The second variation of female infidelity due to lack of attention will be more mercantile. Unfortunately, this variety has become more and more common. This is rather strange, because now there is a surge in the feminist movement. Apparently, in contrast to this, there is a greater number of lovers to live at the expense of men.
So, you could fall in love with a charming beauty. Your relationship has long grown into a “serious” status. Maybe you are even married. And then it turns out that the missus lives a real double life. Let’s say her middle name is an escort.
Mademoiselle with a similar status earns money by dating wealthy gentlemen. Moreover, very often they have permanent relationships with fairly simple guys without much material wealth.
How to recognize such a corrupt lady of the heart? Take a look at her purchases. Expensive gifts from men are accepted by escorts with special pleasure. Many young people today subscribe to Telegram channels that expose night butterflies of the twenty-first century.
Is it worth it to forgive betrayal if it developed according to the second scenario? In response to your questions, the lady will lie that she was engaged in dirty deeds solely for the benefit of your relationship. She will say that you did not give attention and expensive gifts, but she would very much like this. Don’t forgive. This category of women is difficult to change their usual way of life. And it will be extremely difficult to restore trust.
- Curious Barabara
A woman is naturally curious and inquisitive. She has a special colorful imagination. This directly affects the attitude of many of the fair sex to the sexual aspect of relationships in a couple.
It is customary to think that women are more restrained and unpretentious in matters of intimacy. In fact, everything depends very much on her libido and sexual temperament.
Sometimes it happens that a married lady goes for treason solely out of a sense of curiosity. That is, she is not particularly interested in the character with whom she decided to sin on the side. Much more important experience and feelings.
Is cheating worth it?
Is it worth it to forgive betrayal if you love a person? First of all, you need to analyze and discuss the situation in detail. If both of you play up and keep silent, the future experience will not bring positive changes. On the contrary, the problems will only get worse, and conflicts will become much more frequent.
In this case, it is very important to be frank and honest with each other. Calmly sort out those aspects of life together that led one or both of you to cheat. Think about ways you can make new compromises and eliminate annoying moments.
If you have made the decision to try living together, remember that forgiveness means acceptance. Many couples do not manage to stretch even six months together after infidelity. The fact is that an offended partner or partner regularly begins to make their claims. Nobody likes to hear about cheating for the rest of their lives.
When is forgiveness dangerous for one’s own psychological health? If you are in a relationship with an abuser, he will not stop cheating. The fact is that such a person takes pleasure in mocking those who love him.
You do not need to forgive if your companion does not admit his guilt. Usually this is expressed by mutual reproaches. He is trying to shift the responsibility onto you. He says that you brought him up, did not love him, did not pay attention.
You should not forgive the traitor, who until the last denied the fact of betrayal. Only realizing that you have all the evidence in your hands, he will briefly confirm his guilt. You simply won’t be able to find out the reasons and work on the mistakes if there is such an obvious lie in the eye to the victorious in the relationship. To forgive means not to remember, not to try to offend or humiliate a partner by his mistake. A person is able to change if he sees support and understanding from his other half. But you shouldn’t lose yourself either. Try to figure out if you can find the strength to forgive yourself. Is it worth it to forgive betrayal: we make a decision by finding out the reason.
