Life without love: is it possible? If a serious crisis or lull has come in your personal life, and the right person still does not appear on the horizon, it is very easy to become depressed. Romantic feelings take pride of place on the pedestal of happiness, and their absence responds with pain, longing, meaninglessness. Is it possible to find a way out? How to live without love and still be a happy person?
Life without love: is it possible?
Definitely not. And it is impossible even physically. Love can exist in different manifestations. It is not the same, it permeates the life of everyone, just in a certain form. Occurs in relation to:
- people — relatives, friends, inspirers, etc.;
- animals – pets, wildlife in general;
- occupation – hobbies, interests, passions, profession;
- God and what he created (for the believers);
- country or to the city – patriotism, active citizenship;
- yourself – adequate conceit, recognition of one’s own value;
- subject – a work of art, a personal item, etc.
Separately, you can still highlight the love of life. This is cheerfulness and optimism as a worldview, a conscious choice.
The lack of such a feeling causes problems ranging from mild melancholy, loneliness to serious mental disorders. However, the causes of such complications are not only the absence of love experiences, but also the inability to notice or appreciate them. For example, experiencing a painful breakup with her husband, a woman may not pay attention to the warm attitude of her mother or girlfriend towards her.
If a moment really comes in a person’s life when this bright feeling completely disappears from his life, he dies. Either physically or mentally (crazy).
Life without love: is it possible?
Is it possible to live without romantic love?
Here the question is different. Probably, a person can really live his entire life without love for the opposite sex. But the quality of such a life will be far from being so promising, interesting, and diverse. Periodically, there will be a feeling of loneliness, isolation from the world. Perhaps not immediately, but in a few years.
But if you think about it, the absence of romantic feelings is possible only when a person leads an almost secluded lifestyle. He is separated from society or for some reason cannot afford full communication. If this is not so, and love still does not appear, the reasons will be different:
- excessive fixation on the search for the “ideal feeling”, the denial of more “weak” experiences;
- longing for the previous heart tendency, which does not allow opening, letting in new impressions, experience;
- a problem with the endocrine or reproductive system (strong hormonal failure);
- severe depression or other psychological problems;
- superficiality, the transience of communication, unwillingness to meet new people.
In such situations, people begin to believe that even unrequited feelings are better than their complete absence. And in a way they are right. After all, love, even unrequited, fills life with meaning, emotions, aspirations. It changes the specifics of the work of the nervous system, because of which the person feels “alive”, in good shape.
Marriage without love.
Paradoxically, but psychologists say that marriages concluded not for love often turn out to be … stronger.
However, this applies only to those unions in which a man and a woman knew each other well even before marriage. Ceremonies “blindly”, at the insistence of parents, out of material gain and calculation – this is already a lottery, whoever is lucky.
Why do marriages of friends or good acquaintances last longer? There is a number of reasons:
- Lovers who legalize relationships too early risk earning problems in the future, as they have not yet experienced joint difficulties. Friends tend to have similar experiences.
- Lovers often confuse love with passion. Friends don’t lie about their feelings.
- Lovers see their partner in an idealized way, often attributing the wrong qualities to him. Friends are more open to each other, so they soberly see mutual shortcomings.
In addition, years of cohabitation leave their mark on relationships. Intimacy appears, the connection goes to some new, spiritual level. Often, those engaged by the voice of reason subsequently begin to have real deep feelings.
Life without love: is it possible?
How to live without love?
Sometimes the love sphere still does not want to get better. It seems that there is communication, and new people, but the heart is silent, remaining cold. Thoughts often return to loneliness, familiar couples cause irritation, longing, envy, pain. Emptiness builds up inside.
Some decide to let things take their course and just wait, others register on dating sites, arrange blind dates, go to singles parties. The rest despair, fall into depression. But which of these behaviors is the most correct? Is there a solution that will suit absolutely everyone, or will you have to select an individual technique?
What to do if you want to love, but fate still does not give you a chance? How to behave before meeting the same or the same?
1. Realize that love is still there.
It is already known that love is not of one kind. Even if the time has not yet come for the romantic, there is a parental, childish, passion for a hobby, work, or another. And very rarely does it happens that there is only one thing. As a rule, in everyone’s life, there is a love thread in several areas at once. You just have to find them.
If this thread doesn’t seem to be big enough, it’s time to expand it. You can fill your days with goodness, energy, passion with the help of the following advice.
2. Fill in the time.
The less time left for the blues, the happier the person. It’s still not worth driving yourself to exhaustion, but diversifying weekdays and weekends is a good idea. There are several options for how to do this. The main ones are:
- Trips. The change of landscapes, the environment, in general, have a positive effect on the mood of a person. Traveling, he is inspired, learns new things, develops himself. This development may well fill the inner void.
- Hobby. From seemingly simple trips to the cinema to rope jumping. If there are enough hobbies, you can always go deeper into them, consider them from the other side, try a different trend. If there is not enough time, it is enough to try other activities once in order to replenish the memory archives with new memories and impressions.
- Friends. Communication with interesting personalities is the key to self-development, a good mood. Sometimes it is enough to talk only with relatives and good friends. But you can also write for newspapers, magazines, post on forums, create YouTube channels, or even create your own blogging sites.
- Work. Healthy ambitions and their active implementation are other steps towards a meaningful life. Participation in interesting projects, mastering new knowledge, professional development, the race for the title of a first-class specialist can also rekindle the fire in the eyes.
the only general recommendation – is to be among people more often. Even if there is some activity that requires perseverance, it is not necessary to do it at home. You can go to an Internet cafe or even a simple coffee shop, taking your laptop or smartphone with you. If it is warm outside, cozy gazebos in squares and parks are suitable for needlework, reading, and meditation. If there is not enough time due to work, then it is enough not to stay for lunch in an empty stuffy office. The same canteens, cafes, and summer grounds, terraces will come in handy.
And also acquaintance with the inner gourmet, esthete, sports, fresh air, new impressions, beauty around, favorite things cause the same hormonal surge as falling in love.
3. Pay attention to yourself.
It is better not to perceive the period of loneliness as punishment, torment, failure, or something like that. Let this stage be considered as preparation for a new acquaintance. Free time is given to get rid of negativity, to become more interesting, more beautiful, more experienced, smarter in something. As soon as a certain level of development is reached, a worthy candidate will immediately appear.
And yet there is still something to strive for. Don’t like the body? Forward to the gym, to the stadium, training grounds. Not satisfied with the condition of the skin? It’s time to save up for a beautician. Suffering self-esteem? It’s time for a psychologist.
People around are drawn to confident, developing, sincere in behavior people. And among them, there may just be a person whom you have wanted to meet for so long.
Life without love: is it possible?
4. Create a psychological portrait of the ideal partner.
What else attracts potential partners? Thoughts and behavior in the style of “I know exactly what I want.” Understanding your own tastes, desires, priorities will tell you where to look for your person. For this, there is an interesting method.
You will need a blank sheet of paper and a pen. The sheet is divided into 4 sectors: the top two are responsible for the qualities of the future partner, the bottom ones are for their own. What information to fill in these segments:
- Expected character traits of the future partner. You can additionally write percentages showing the degree of development of the property. For example, “bravery – at least 60%”.
- Negative qualities of a potential couple. There are no ideal people, but you can put up with some disadvantages. You can also enter bad habits like smoking, hobbies in computer games (with interest if you want).
- their positive traits. For objectivity, you can ask one of your friends or relatives to help with this column. In addition, if some property is really present, examples from life (not ten years ago) will be remembered proving its presence.
- own negative sides. By the way, in front of your qualities, you can also display an approximate percentage of their depth.
Then it is important to analyze the table. Is the number of your advantages similar to the number of expected properties of your partner? Are there too many minuses in the 4th sector? Does segment 2 looks too empty?
Depending on the result, you will have to work either on self-esteem or on eliminating or at least reducing the strength of some of your negative sides. When the table seems correct, it’s time to think about what circles the person you are looking for can rotate in, where to find him.
5. “Filter” the social circle.
It is important to maintain an average position, that is, not to lose hope of meeting love, but to believe in it, but at the same time not to focus absolutely all your attention on its search. It is difficult, so even small obstacles can bring down a good mood.
One of these barriers is sometimes the environment and phrases, which it allows itself to tactlessly, shamelessly, sometimes arrogantly, and boorishly drop. For example:
- “Not married yet? And the clock is ticking. Look, you’ll miss your chance.”
- “Genka is already having a second child, and when are you going?”.
- “Not everyone can find a family, so what? It’s OK”.
- “Still alone? Poor / poor … ” (pitying look).
- “I don’t know how you’re holding on, I’d be out of my mind by now.”
- “Oh, yes, happiness is not in love!” (say those who cannot do without it).
- “Find someone. So what if it’s not for love? Do you know how scary and hard it will be to spend old age alone then?
Most often, such personalities do not make sense to explain or prove anything. It’s easier to say goodbye to them, or at least change the subject delicately. And even more so, you can’t take their words and parting words seriously. As a rule, they themselves have a bunch of problems that they still can’t figure out.
Not knowing how to live without love, people often turn into gray shadows because they no longer feel complete. Their condition can be understood because life without such a bright feeling is really not sugar. But there is always a way out. The tips in this article will help you feel like an active, cheerful person with a hopeful future again.
Life without love: is it possible?
