The love triangle in the psychology of relationships: what is the reason for the arrangement? The love triangle is a real problem for everyone. All parties suffer suffering and pain. The love triangle is a hot spot. Sometimes because of the provocative eroticism, but most often because of the many conflicts that such an (unplanned and unwanted) constellation brings with it. You need to know about all this so that you can consciously enter into or bypass such relationships.
What are the positions in the triangle?
It doesn’t matter if you were deceived, if you are a lover, if you were in the center of a love triangle as its initiator, or if you want to “open” your relationship in a modern way – it’s all equally difficult.
Whilst the three terms are divided by the subject and the variant, no by the position that is taken by the variant.
- Option 1: You’ve been cheated on and your partner doesn’t want to give up on the affair
Your partner is having an affair but doesn’t want to end it. Now you have a love triangle, but not at all voluntary.
If you don’t want to lose your loved one, you have to find a way to either get out of the situation, get out of the situation, get out.
- Option 2: You yourself started an affair and can’t let anyone go
You love the vivid emotions that arise in the initial stages of a relationship. If you have to ask for it, you should say that the “prize” partner. Either you have already said (or it has been discovered) and now life is collapsing, but with all your desire you do not have a plan how to solve the problem, and the conflict is killing you.
- Option 3: You are a lover and you feel like the fifth wheel in a cart
Love triangle. How to end it?
Whether you knew from the very beginning that your new love was already connected or not, at some point there will come a time when you want him to break up with his partner, and so that the path for your love is clear. No on this is not allowed. And then the waiting, the hope and the suffering begin.
- Option 4: You are thinking about opening a relationship (or have already done so)
In the course of your relationship, you and your partner have repeatedly reached the limits of monogamy, and more and more you understand that there must be another way than eternal fidelity. You Are Either Mainly Interested in Alternative Relationship Concepts Or There Is A Third Person You Want To Integrate Into Your Life. Can you tell us about this?
Here is the starting point. Now let’s take a closer look at all four options.
Victim of treason
A partner’s romance throws you into an involuntary love triangle. For some, betrayal is a reason to leave immediately. Others try to keep the relationship.
Most want the side affair to end immediately. In this case, the process will be unprofessional, no one will try, but the partners will be there. Then you will need:
- willingness to accept it as part of life;
- ideas how it might work.
Once this is done, you can’t close your eyes. If the three-legged friend is serious about the project, it is still possible for you to take part in it. Or breaking up and starting a new life with a (true) person would make more sense. Reasonable consideration is what matters. It is necessary to weigh everything, especially if it is a family with children. Questions for analysis:
- Is it guaranteed that you are not there?
- Does it make sense to burn bridges if the obstacle is supposedly not too great?
- Or is it worth developing further and fighting for these relationships?
These three questions need to be considered. Highlight the pros and cons. And only then decide.
Traffic light system
Theoretically, it is possible to reconcile all the variants and subjects, to the subject. This is where traffic lights come in handy. Green – yellow-red.
There is a lot to think about, discuss and try out in this exercise. Here are a few examples, for you it may be something completely different. If you know about this as a part of the partner, please tell us about it.
- Kissing is normal (green), hugging is critical (yellow), intimacy is impossible (red).
- Intimacy is OK (green), but falling in love is not okay (red).
- Meeting once a year/month – this is normal (green) more often – by prior arrangement (yellow) twice a week – not allowed at all (red).
Options can be anything.
As long as the traffic light is green, everyone can slowly continue this relationship. As soon as it turns yellow, pause. Look right and left to see if there is real danger ahead (or fantasy). That is what is meant by newness in the house, it is not possible to see it in the partner and that is what is happening. It’s good to discuss the possibility of a love triangle before a serious relationship occurs, but it’s difficult.
It is necessary to inform the partner when the suspicions that have arisen are confirmed. Get him a commitment that he will stop all “red” activities in the second relationship. Immediately.
Three is too few
Now some couples are coming up with an unconventional option that can be very risky: the love triangle ends when there are more people in it. Then it’s a square. This usually happens when both lovers have partners. No information is given about the desire or in retaliation.
In other words, that is not the case:
unless you are aware of it, you are not aware of it and you are aware of it;
- a square is more about communication “at eye level”, a triangle is not necessary;
- the cheating partner gets the opportunity to get in touch with his fear of loss and his own jealousy (and will be able to better understand the one he cheated on);
- the victim of adultery becomes more desirable and returns self-esteem;
- the opportunity to give the partner more freedom and take away remorse from him (generosity).
Yes, the square also has a lot of flaws and finding a suitable guy or girl (open for such an experiment) is not the same.
But if the Couple is already in a triangle and wants to maintain a relationship without breaking up on either side, Time can be invested to achieve their goals.
Relationships on a new level
No word, no word no “blessing for treason.” This is a conversation starter and a good exercise in trust. There are numerous examples when, having honestly discussed all the possibilities, partners returned to a monogamous relationship.
Many couples go through painful, deep, and stressful times, learning a lot through romance, actually talking to each other for the first time in decades, and building a whole new relationship foundation.
Later, one with gratitude remembers the crisis, because without the triangle one would be little. Even if they continue to live in a monogamous relationship, the openness in their couple will become much greater, and they include the possibility that something similar could happen again. However, now they also know how to avoid it. Communication in a couple can significantly improve with an honest conversation about their desires.
Because our world is monogamous, it’s almost impossible to change the idea of a relationship or talk about obvi to another person without injury. But at the same time, no one is immune from falling in love. How serious the trauma will depend on a number of factors:
- How stable and secure is the relationship.
- Have you learned to talk about unpleasant things.
- How strong is the romantic component in a relationship.
- Stable on the same part.
And also – from openness and curiosity, from the desire for further development, from the knowledge of inevitable changes in any relationship, etc. But it is precisely honest conversations about your feelings, including to other people, that help either get out of the situation with a love triangle, or not suffer much from it.