Male manipulation of silence and ignorance – how to behave? Silence manipulation is one of the most common types of psychological pressure in a relationship. In psychology, this concept is even given the term – is holding. This article will be useful for you if your man dismisses conversations that are uncomfortable for him.
Types of manipulations with silence on examples
To begin with, you should understand the types of this manipulation.
He just doesn’t talk to you. Ignores your questions and requests. This is how he shows his resentment. And he tries to achieve the satisfaction of his needs and desires at your expense through the manipulation of silence.
Situation example. Ekaterina and Sergey have been dating for many years. They live together in a rented apartment. As soon as Ekaterina talks to Sergey about the wedding and the mortgage, he simply starts to ignore her.
Sergey is not going to be responsible in the form of a mortgage and a family. And instead of saying it directly, he torments Ekaterina with silence, so he doesn’t want to be lost in the box
The girl will cook dinner, and put the Since clothes in order, and leave the apartment, but at the ovetvenße. This is selfish on the part of Sergei, there is obvious manipulation, which helps him avoid serious harm.
- Eternally postponing the conversation.
“Let’s talk later”, but in the end, this “later” never comes. The person does not want to solve the problem “here and now” and on it postpones, avoiding the conversation. Then there are manipulators who are responsible for the subject.
Situation example. Olesya always dreamed of a dog. But her parents forbade her to start. Then came the years of study and she lived in a hostel, where a dog could not be kept either. And where, finally, Olesya lives in her own apartment, which she bought in half with her husband.
Olesya expressed her desire to have a four-legged friend. To which she replied: “Let’s talk about it later.” The conversation t happened, so mulight not the unpleasant dialogue…
- Translation of the topic of conversation.
You talk about one thing, and the answer starts a completely different conversation. Manipulation is to distract you from the problem situation and avoid uncomfortable times. Sometimes the conversation is turned into a joke.
Situation example. Christina and Alexander have been married for many years. They have three children. Their large family huddles in a small room, while living with Alexander’s parents. Christina has disagreements with her mother-in-law, they do not get along well because of domestic issues.
Tricks of the manipulator. VisHOLDING. Anguished silence
Alexander has a fairly busy work schedule, he only comes home to spend the night. He prefers to ignore conflicts. Christina constantly talks about her desire to move.
We don’t get an adequate answer either exact or “Did you know that Masha flew away on vacation, maybe we’ll wave it too?”. Alexandra is happy with everything and talking about moving annoys him.
- Coercion, blackmail and turning the situation in your favor.
This type of manipulation is the most dangerous. Instead of discussing and solving the problem, a person resorts to blackmail or turns the situation “from the feet of the Nagas”. As they say, the best defense is an attack.
Situation example. Eugenia does not know how to cook at all. All her attempts come down to indigestion or destroying kitchen utensils. The culinary art is not in the past, not in the room on one of the most popular dishes.
Her boyfriend Maxim, when he entered into a relationship with her, was well aware of this and did not consider this a problem, after all, the cook himself is able to take on this responsibility. And he took it: he either cooked it or brought it from the dish from work.
Everything would be fine, if not for one “but”, it became his “trump card”. Now, at every conversation that was uncomfortable for him, he would remind Evgenia of this: “Who would say, unwoman? Even elementary borscht is not capable of cooking. You’re also showing me something.”
If we talk about blackmail, then Maxim often sinned with this too. The pressure was that when I wanted to talk about a problematic topic,
How to solve the problem of withholding in a relationship – 5 effective tips
The manipulation of silence has its roots. Remember, every behavior has its reasons. In this case, either the person is a yaoist and a narcissist, a lissom, is being manipulated into.
It is useless to fight the first one, but in the second and third cases it makes sense to correct something. So how do you react to withholding? Keep five actionable tips.
- As you are to me, so I am to you.
Start practicing silence yourself. Something you did not like – repeat the behavior of your man. If he ignores you – ignore him, if he translates the topic – translate it too. Be his reflection. No possle in the third place is the place where the situation is.
So that he, using the example of your behavior, understands what it is like to experience “silent punishment”. The phrase can be built like this: “dear, the topic of conversation is pleasant to me, so I, I, I, I stepped supporr.
- Communication through “I-message”.
“I-message” or “I-statement” is a special technique that allows you to convey to a person how his act, action or behavior affects your feelings. Also, “I-message” allows you to express your wishes.
- Positive response.
Smile broadly and with kindness in your voice say: “I see that you are not ready to talk about it now, we will return to e. Let me know when you are ready for a decision. of these problems.” Often, after this phrase, a person is already tuned in to a dialogue.
The most important thing is to carry a positive attitude. Show your man that you are ready to hear him and not make a scandal based on an unpleasant conversation. Often hidden under the manipulation of silence is the fear of being misunderstood.
Post before the rebrom. Calmly, without anger and irritation, say: “Dear, this problem requires an urgent solution, so I give you time until Tuesday, on this day I am waiting for your proposals to solve this problem.”
It is important to make it clear that you do not want a scandal, but are simply trying to resolve what is bothering you.
- To break relations.
Sometimes it only helps to get out of a relationship that torments you. This is especially true of relationships with egoists and narcissists. No matter how hard you try, he will never hear you. Yes, it’s very difficult, but you have to put yourself first.
Appreciate yourself and don’t let yourself be manipulated!