Acquaintance with the girl’s parents … It seems to be a generally safe event, but heavy thoughts begin to spin in my head. “What if they don’t like me?”, “What can I tell you about myself?”, “What can I brag about, in addition to the ability to taste the beers on the stock?”, “Will her mother appreciate the story of how her angel and I exchanged numbers phone numbers and names after spending the night together? When, how and why to meet her parents? Read, print, memorize.
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You probably understand this yourself, but we remind you: this is not the area of relationships where you can rush. The presence of serious intentions and passionate feelings is better to prove in the bedroom or in a jewelry store, if you really want to. Acquaintance with the girl’s parents is a very serious step, the girl will definitely appreciate it. But what threatens such an early infusion into the family circle?
- Seriousness. Introducing yourself to her parents and officially calling yourself her boyfriend, you show that you are set, if not for a wedding and joint old age with five children and a mortgage, then at least for a long-term relationship.
If, after the initial, turbulent stage of the novel, your feelings fade away, you will no longer be able to part quietly without attracting attention. On your shoulders will be the burden of responsibility for the feelings of her parents.
Perhaps you were madly in love with her friends and they doted on you, but they will somehow survive parting with you. And if it turns out that you turned out to be that bastard, then they will drink, and dress, and introduce you to a new man. Because they will know all your ugly side.
She probably won’t tell her parents the whole truth. That is why they will torment your girlfriend (and you, by the way, too) with questions, interspersed with sympathetic oohs. Whether you like it or not, you will already be perceived as a potential son-in-law. Jokes about the wedding and children are included.
- Commitments. Although according to the documents you are not yet part of this family, you have already been enrolled there. How long have you been digging / planting potatoes and hilling tomatoes? If her parents or grandmother have a summer cottage, do not expect that they will seat you at the table and bring a kebab on a silver platter with cognac.
Of course, it all depends on the particular family. Some parents adhere to the “Don’t go where you don’t belong” rule and completely withdraw from participation in their daughter’s personal life until she asks. Deal with you, wipe your daughter’s tears? No problem!
Climbing with advice and questions about the wedding, manipulating and demanding your presence at the birthday party of the second cousin of Uncle Sasha’s mistress – for nothing. Actually, it is not a sin to get acquainted with such parents. This is every son-in-law’s dream. But such families are the exception rather than the rule. Therefore, do not be surprised if your girlfriend, under the onslaught of mom and dad, begins to demand your appearance at all family gatherings. Going to a bar with friends? What the hell are friends when a second cousin gets married!
So when do you meet her parents? The ideal option is when you have been together for a long time, passions have subsided, but feelings are just as strong, and confidence in each other is strong. Anything can happen, of course, but it’s better to wait for time – for someone a couple of months is enough, for someone six months or a year.
Delaying an acquaintance is also not a good idea. It’s like fishing – don’t overdo it, seize the moment and hook it. Otherwise, the fish will fall off the hook. He will consider that your intentions are not serious and will give you a couple (dozens) of tantrums. In the same way, girls don’t like it when you put off getting to know your friends in every possible way: “Is he embarrassed of me? Am I worse than his ex? Or is he waiting for us to break up?
Parents, by the way, will also be twice as suspicious if you avoided meeting with them for a long time and came up with excuses: “Sorry, I can’t come to dinner, my cat is giving birth, and I was just watching the birth of a lion on National Geographic and I think, It’s time to put the knowledge into practice.”
After six months of a long relationship, such espionage is suspicious. After a year of hiding, you will have to work hard to win their trust.
Life hacks when meeting a guy’s parents have been carefully collected for you in the article at the link.
- First of all, you need to calm down. Her parents, of course, will understand the reason for your concern and will not laugh loudly (but this is not certain), but if you sit on their beloved cat and break the service that they save for a special occasion, then their sympathy for you will drop sharply.
- Do not cover your face with your hands and do not sit with your arms crossed. Pure body language. A confident pose, but without excessive pretentiousness (no need to put your feet on the table), a calm look and a cup of tea in your hands. Don’t lean on alcohol. If you refuse it altogether, it will be fine. Needless to say, that intoxication will not play into your hands?
- Look at their beloved daughter with tenderness, but do not overstep the bounds. No need to lick it and squeeze it unnecessarily. Don’t put your hand on her to mark her territory or her father might mark your face.
- Answer questions openly, but keep questionable details to yourself.
- If seductive girlfriends / sisters of a girl are spinning nearby, do not try to undress them with your eyes. If you think that no one can see you drooling over her sister with a Kate Upton figure, then you are very wrong. Now you mentally calculate her breast size, and then you will calculate the steps in the entrance with your face. No longer mentally. The only girl you should look at is yours.
“Then,” your girlfriend would say. We will be a little more verbose: to prove the seriousness of our intentions. And your courage, of course.
ACQUAINTANCE WITH THE PARENTS OF THE GIRL. Etiquette. Norms. Rules. Personal experience.