Break taboo: Older women and younger man relationship is a great combination. We see such a relationship quite often. The other relationship model, when a younger man is with an older woman, is still a taboo for a great many people and something they do not understand.
Today we answer why these relationships work so well and all the other questions that arise when talking about an age-difference relationship in which the woman is the older!
Older woman and younger man relationship – why do you see this combination more and more?
To understand why you can see more and more mature women with a visibly younger partner here and now, we have to go back to the 50s. We know what a woman’s life was like back then.
She was expected to be a housewife and mother. If she wanted to work, she had to have her husband’s consent.
The beginning of the change came with Equal Rights. After that, the woman could decide alone whether she wanted to work or not.
The second big change that made a huge impact was the hippie movement in the 1960s. Among other things, the young people back then campaigned for “free love”, freed from the norms that prevailed at the time.
Suddenly, a monogamous relationship and marriage were no longer the only choices for the youth of the time. So it was precisely the girls who were born at this time who were the first to hear from an early age: “You can become whatever you want” and “You can love whoever you want”.
And these girls in particular are in their 50s or 60s today. Is it any wonder then that these women, in particular, choose a young man as their partner? I do not think so!
Is an older partner a substitute for the mother?
If the relationship is healthy, the answer is clear: no, more mature women are not substituting mothers for their younger partners!
Because the theory of attachment has been discussed more and more in the last few decades and it is becoming more and more clear to us how important the first years of a child are for their later relationships and especially what influence the relationship with their parents has on them in childhood it is not surprising that this question is asked.
Many will assume that the young man has been abandoned or neglected by his own mother and is looking for a mother figure in his older partner. And of course, there are such examples.
It is also possible that a man suffers from Peter Pan Syndrome, does not want to grow up, and finds his “Wendy” in an older woman who will take care of him. But such couples have a completely different relationship pattern.
If it’s a healthy relationship between an older woman and a younger man, then that woman is not behaving like a mother at all. On the contrary, she is the one who benefits from the younger partner’s energy and joie de vivre and who feels much younger.
What attracts a younger man to an older woman?
Your serenity, experience, and self-confidence! When a young man has a partner of his own age, he often feels pressured
He feels pressured because younger women feel pressured. They want to train themselves professionally, are looking for a balance between their career and their private life, in the social media era, they feel even more pressure to always have to look tip-top, and then there is the question of family planning.
Although modern medicine makes it easier to have a child at a later stage in life, it still brings certain complications. So you can say that men are better off in this case because they are capable of procreation at a later age.
So if the young partner’s desire to have children is very strong, but her partner of the same age has not yet felt it, it can be a problem for the relationship. With an older woman who either has grown-up children or who never wanted children, younger men do not have such problems.
At least until he doesn’t get this wish himself. But as always, every coin has two sides.
A mature woman is usually in a better position than a young woman, also in a professional sense. She has already achieved a lot and can now relax and enjoy life.
I’m not going to suggest that all mature women are 100 percent confident, have no problems with self-doubt or jealousy. Yes, sometimes they get jealous too, wondering if their partner is going to leave them for a younger woman.
But they would ask themselves the same question even if they were with an older man of the same age. Younger women also ask such questions.
But it is precisely the experience of a mature woman that is an advantage here. They have already learned in their lives that they cannot influence everything and that sometimes you can just hope for the best and enjoy life.
Can you be happy with a younger man?
Yes, it is possible to be happy with a younger partner. These relationships work well for two big reasons: biological and spiritual.
From a biological point of view, this relationship works well because the libido works differently in men and women. In men, lust is quite strong from puberty up to around 50 years of age, and then it subsides.
It’s a little different with women. Your libido will get stronger over the years.
With this fact in mind, it’s not surprising that mature women tend to turn to younger men when looking for a partner. This doesn’t mean the younger man is simply a toyboy to them, but he understands their needs better than an older man.
The spiritual reason has to do with the divorce rate. Every second marriage ends in divorce.
Many women only learn through marriage what they really want and need from a man. Or rather, what they no longer want.
After the marriage has broken up, a new chapter in life begins. After the unhappy marriage and the pain of separation, these women are ready for a fresh start
At this moment, when you have already experienced so much and have also gone through a difficult time, you know that the most important thing is that you are happy. They value every new opportunity more than before, they enjoy everything that life has to offer.
Since they have learned from their own example that a relationship or marriage with an older man or of the same age does not necessarily mean that it will work, they are much more open to new experiences. And when young men speak to her, she no longer thinks it is a joke but thinks “Why not?”
Can a relationship with a 10 year age difference work?
Of course, this relationship can work. In the end, age is just a number.
A happy relationship takes a lot more than two people of the same age. Mutual respect, time together, attention, and of course mutual love are much more important than whether there is a 3, 10, or 20 year age difference between the partners.
But you have to pay special attention to these two things:
Share similarities, respect opposites
When you talk about love and interests, some people say that they like and like like to join. On the other hand, the others swear that opposites attract.
One then wonders which of them is right? The answer is both and neither.
One does not necessarily have to exclude the other. The similarities bring us closer together because it’s nice to have someone who understands us and who enjoys the same things.
On the other hand, it is the opposites that arouse our interest. Something that is unknown to us, fascinates us because we do not understand it and we want to get to know it.
And both are important for a successful relationship. A shared hobby, for example, helps us to spend enough time together.
So it will be difficult to become a stranger. But no two people are the same and as such, they also have their own interests and the partner does not necessarily have to participate in every one.
The contrasts can be greater, especially in a relationship with an age difference. Although the couple gets along well, it is possible that, for example, the friends of the one do not feel comfortable if the older or younger partner always wants to come along.
As long as they respect their boyfriend’s choice of partner, that’s okay too. Or if the older woman already has grandchildren, the younger partner does not have to be present at each of her school appearances or events.
And while an older woman’s experience may be interesting to the young man, she needs to be careful that it allows him to make his own mistakes and learn from them.
Be honest with one another and communicate openly
Communication is the be-all and end-all of any successful relationship. Talking openly with one another about fears and problems is the only secret to a happy relationship or marriage.
Fear of abandonment, jealousy, and the issue of having children are probably the biggest problems that age-gap couples face. Ignoring them is impossible.
At the beginning of such a relationship, the young man may find it convenient that the older woman does not want to have children, but it may be that one will develop in him over time.
Therefore, one has to talk about whether the woman still wants children at all and whether she is ready to go through possibly invasive treatments if the couple does decide to have children as a couple.
Jealousy can also spread to both sides. Most of the time, you think that the older woman will be jealous, but the younger partner can also believe that he is simply a toyboy and that his partner will find someone she has more in common with.
This also brings us to the fear of being abandoned. In a couple with an age difference, however, that fear has another dimension – you know that one partner is likely to die much earlier than the other.
If you don’t talk about it, these problems can lead to relationships quite easily. But if you discuss them, give each other a lot of attention and show understanding, there is no problem that is unsolvable.
It all sounds like tips for a “normal” relationship, doesn’t it? Yes, because it is one too.
Every couple, no matter the age difference between them, runs into certain problems in an instant. Jealousy, doubt, not enough time together are stumbling blocks that every couple knows.
Couples, where one of the partners is several years younger than the other partner, have to struggle with one more problem and that is strange looks and gossip from the environment.
That’s why I have another tip for such couples:
Ignore every now and then
Very rarely do I advise anyone to ignore a problem or person. Ignorance, in most cases, is the path we choose when we can’t think of better and is hardly a solution.
But to a couple with a huge age difference who don’t know how to deal with hostile surroundings and strange situations, I tell that sometimes it’s okay to just ignore such people. Mature women with a partner who is 10, 15, or 20 years younger do not have to justify themselves to anyone.
Neither do your younger partners. It is their life and when they are happy then other people don’t have to understand their relationship at all, let alone agree to it.
Always keep in mind that most of the people who deal with other people’s lives are actually unhappy themselves. They project their own fears and dissatisfaction when they make unsightly comments about someone.
Older Woman and Younger Man Relationship Advice. Age is simply a number, many will say when they congratulate someone on their birthday. But when you see a couple with an age difference, it’s easy to forget that age is just a number.
Especially when it’s a combination of an older woman and a younger man. People are likely to have different guesses when they see such a couple and also forget that neither one chooses where love falls.
But the couple should hardly care. When the relationship is on an equal footing, both are voluntarily in it and love one another, nothing else matters, especially other people’s opinions.