Open relationship – pros and cons. Psychology SW format. Modernity provides young people with many options on how to diversify gray everyday life. However, one thing remains unchanged – the desire for constant change and the desire to get those first feelings that have arisen at least once in everyone. In the wake of this, such a fashionable direction of relations as SW appeared. Some are wondering: what is a SW relationship and what is it for? However, the answer is tritely simple – it is free communication of partners, which does not imply any obligations. In simple terms, SW means open relationship.
It would seem that the relationship between lovers should be strong and built on mutual trust and respect. An open relationship is like a contradiction to everything that ordinary people are used to. How can you calmly flirt in front of your soul mate, how can you have sex with others and not feel any remorse. There is an answer to all of this. The article will reveal to you the main reasons why people decide to take this desperate step and what problems every newcomer will face.
Forget about problems
The reason why people get bored with the established relationship paradigm most often lies in the unwillingness to bear responsibility. It is worth calling someone your soul mate, as you immediately acquire a load of worries and problems that come with it. Someone treats this normally, because it is quite logical that anyone will try to help a loved one. However, there is a category of people who want ease. They simply do not have the desire to constantly look after someone, get to know better and experience stress in certain situations. They are driven by hedonistic desires – only the pleasure that can be obtained together is important.
Being young and not burdened with a dozen obligations, people can really try to have an open relationship. This is an interesting experiment that will appeal to all lovers of extreme sports and adrenaline in cut. On the one hand, you have the right to sleep with anyone. On the other hand, you will have to put up with the fact that your partner has the same right. Every person is selfish and possessive by nature. And this is one of the reasons why not everyone will be able to endure such a relationship.
The thirst for novelty is another reason that makes people abandon the usual novel. Everyone has long known the algorithm by which ordinary communication is built. Acquaintance, date, love, passion, sex, relationship. Reversing this order, or abandoning it altogether, is a tempting prospect for those who have repeatedly burned themselves with classic novels. You can immediately go to sex or maintain a purely platonic communication, giving away your passion to other people. What an exciting experience you can get in the arms of strangers, how much excitement and enchanting orgasms! All this is intoxicating, because permissiveness is the best aphrodisiac.
The third obvious reason for an open relationship is the reluctance to start a family in the future. This is not just about romantic communication, but about something that should have a long-term perspective. People who do not accept marriage and are against the birth of children are far from uncommon. Everything they promote is life for themselves. No worries about the future, no reverent attitude to the past.
It exists only here and now, so why drive yourself into strict limits and be faithful? It is much easier to get rid of this burden, find the right partner and make other people happy for a couple. It is difficult to condemn such behavior, because in fact, they choose such a fate for themselves. However, it should be remembered that this lifestyle is not easy entertainment, and it is not suitable for everyone.
Pros and cons of personal freedom
People are not born with belonging to any person. Of course, they are part of their family, but in terms of relationships they are not marked. Therefore, the opportunity and the right to choose is an innate ability of all. Most follow a proven path and try to find a soul mate for life. And others strive to get to know not one, but many people as closely as decency allows. Not everyone knows what a SW relationship is. Freedom in personal life, which has certain advantages and disadvantages.
It’s worth starting with the positives, because they are often the key points that make people change their minds about relationships. First of all, it is freedom. No one will deny the fact that the chance to sleep peacefully with other people, while having a permanent partner, is a real gift. Someone will say that if you fell in love with one, you will not look at the other. But it is not so. There is such a thing as sexual desire. Sex can be a simple physiological need and have nothing to do with love. And the more varied it is, the better. It’s like a menu of different dishes: you can love all the same dish with your soul, but you will never refuse to try something new and tempting.
The second plus is ease. You have no obligations, you have not sworn eternal love, you do not need to throw tantrums on the basis of jealousy. All this is just stupid and unnecessary. The unpleasant element of many ordinary relationships between a man and a woman will disappear from your life. Why suspect a soul mate of cheating if you agreed in advance that you can do this?
In addition, this ease allows you not only to look for meetings on the side and have fun, but also to arrange group orgies with your regular partner. Many people consider such leisure to be incredibly exciting, sharpening all sensations. Watching your missus give herself to another man or watching a guy please another girl is exciting to say the least. And you cannot experience this if you suddenly want seriousness.
Another plus is the absence of conventions. In a normal relationship, you at least roughly plan when and what will happen. When you live together, how will you arrange your love nest, when you get married and have children. In an open relationship, all this is not necessary. You can generally live separately for years and still not feel any discomfort.
It is noteworthy that many find this option psychologically convenient – a separate life only contributes to the emergence of tender feelings. No quarrels over open toothpaste or dirty socks – only complete romance and harmony. In addition, in an open relationship, couples living apart can change their partners without prying eyes. It’s much harder to do that. When your soulmate is constantly in front of your eyes.
Lack of boredom is another plus in the piggy bank of free relationships. Do not think that such a format is only for the young and hot. There are quite a few married couples who live independently of each other. They can bring home other partners, have sex, flirt and even fall in love, while sincerely loving only each other. To call this ordinary and boring is definitely not the language. You will not get tired of the fact that every day is similar to the previous one, that you do not have passion and romance in your life, that you no longer feel loved and desired.
Now we should move on to the cons, which are so often forgotten by those who have learned what SW relationships are. Behind all this veneer of lightness and simplicity there is always something that will turn off most beginners. First of all, immorality. No matter how progressive and modern your neighbors or environment, but almost all of them will consider your relationship abnormal.
And sidelong glances are the least you can get. Most likely, you will have to face constant misunderstanding, condemnation behind your back and unpleasant distrust in your address. Many simply do not withstand such pressure and give up their own beliefs. Some of them may even become ardent opponents of open relationships so that they never again feel this public censure.
The second disadvantage is the struggle with feelings of jealousy. If you are a terrible owner, then you simply cannot live knowing that your soul mate is sleeping with another. But it is worth remembering that an open relationship is a two-way agreement. It does not happen that one partner could be unfaithful, and the second was obliged to remain devotion to only one. If you are not mentally prepared for what you will have to know, and sometimes even see how a loved one flirts and flirts with others, then you should not even start. According to statistics, many such unprepared people later ended up in a psychologist’s office in order to regain a modicum of self-respect and venture into relationships again.
The third disadvantage is the lack of stability. In an ordinary relationship, you know for sure that if you are together, everything is fine. You can plan events, trips, business. Free relationships don’t have that privilege. Your companion can break loose and say at any moment. That he is tired and he no longer needs you. And scandal in this case is stupid, because you promised nothing to each other in advance.
The inability to rely on who is next to you is one of the reasons why even big enthusiasts soon return to their usual path and look for one pair for life. Because it’s easier. So it is genetically inherent in people – to find a reliable companion in order to survive. And this is impossible when there is frivolity and windiness in your couple, and on a bilateral basis.
Another disadvantage is self-identification. You don’t have a clear idea of who you are. Partners, lovers, friends? Or maybe just random acquaintances who decided to spend some time together? It is even more difficult to separate your own feelings from simple sexual desire. Sex and love are not the same thing. You can go to bed without love, and it will be fine.
However, it is difficult to understand your own feelings when your partner is having fun with others in front of your eyes. This is confusing, because under normal conditions you need to resent and suffer. And in an open relationship, this is impossible. Otherwise, they become not free, but the most common.
Even if you try to somehow defend your own status in front of others, you will not be able to convince yourself of how logical everything that happens in your personal life is.
No one will ever be able to give you guarantees that you will be happy, abandoning the usual communication with the opposite sex. Few people know what SW relationships are, but even fewer understand what is really behind them. Two people exist in the status of a couple, but do not fulfill the basic obligations that usually exist in a relationship.
This option can rather be called an easy and easy affair, leading to disappointment in the end. If you really want to spend your whole life constantly wandering from one partner to another, then this is your conscious choice. But still, the statistics are not on your side, because such couples, as a rule, do not feel happy in the end.
However, if you just want to take a break from the usual course of life for a while and cheer up a little, then this format of relationships is just right. You will have many opportunities to satisfy your needs both physically and mentally. Having had enough of the pleasure that different partners give, you will gradually want stability and return to the usual mode.
From this it follows that an open relationship is only a temporary measure that allows you to take a break from problems. It is impossible to constantly live with the knowledge that your loved one is dating others. Sooner or later, you will want to dot all i’s, and then you will realize that in the pursuit of ease you have lost something important. And this important will be sincere feelings, which can only be given by a faithful and devoted companion nearby.
Open relationship – pros and cons. Psychology SW format.