Pathological dependence on a person in relationships and its types. Fell in love, got married, and think that all the torment of building relationships is over? New life rarely goes smoothly. One of its main problems is the dependence of partners on each other. Proposed for the video that is needed in other countries and in their prices.
The origins of relationship addiction
Inability to make a decision or voice one’s position, aggression, and fears associated with the risk of being left alone is the most common manifestations of dependence in a relationship. Addiction appears in 95% of marriages and love affairs.
Only self-sufficient men and women who feel deep respect for each other and mutual responsibility can escape Her. Only the problems that arise, no need to relocate to the partner. In such a pair, a certain point of balance is found, sufficient to gain wisdom and not look for ways of self-realization at the expense of other people.
In search of harmony, and attempts to protect or recognize themselves, they do not dissolve into lovers and do not destroy the quality.
The fact that the emerging relationship will be dependent, you can guess, on knowing only one partner. And it does not matter if we are talking about a girl or a young man.
The main reasons for the appearance of addiction in a relationship:
- the habit of playing.
One of the STORon is not inclined to show sincerity and chooses a role that will benefit.
For example, a girl prefers to be weak, indecisive and trusting. Having met a strong young man, he chooses a subordinate position and does whatever he wants.
No, where you are, you are doing and you are posting as soon as possible. At first, he was haunted by failures, and the girl left him on this wave.
Or, on the contrary, the young man seems like a teddy bear until his partner became the head of the department. As soon as this happened, he turned into a tyrant, seeking to humiliate her and return her to a subordinate place.
- Children’s grievances and fears.
They remained in your heart, and now you are unconsciously looking for a way to get rid of them in friendship, love contacts, marriage, or, conversely, set them free.
Signs of EMO-addiction
- An attempt to build a relationship following the example of your parents, forgetting that both you and your partner are completely different people.
You approach problems differently, are less motivated to have a family, or just love each other a little less
Perhaps, on the contrary, partners do everything possible to form a relationship opposed. And they are so successful at it that they develop their dependent relationships.
Many women are worried about divorce, the lack of official marriage, and the inability, as it seems to them, to save everything. They are ashamed of themselves and do everything to keep a man nearby.
- Fears of the future and lack of prospects.
It may seem to one of the STORon relationships that only emptiness, despair, and longing await her in later life.
- Ignorance and lack of internal understanding of the norm.
This Cause appears in relationships where one of the partners grew up in an Alcoholic Family, Orphanage, and often becomes a victim himself.
As you can see, addiction is closely related to personal problems, and they concern both sides.
Types of dependencies
By and large, addiction is the highest degree of attachment, when you emotionally cling to another person and cannot tear yourself away from him.
Imagine that you are afraid of heights, but decided to fly in a hot air balloon. All the way you convulsively hold on to the supports, you are afraid to let them go. All your thoughts are focused on fear.
In your despair, you can attack the person who controls the ball. You can jump to the ground, even if the height is still a few hundred meters. You can just switch off and be transported to another world. You lose yourself and submit to fear.
Addiction is similar to these experiences. She also grabs you and locks you in a cage of emotions, feelings, fears, and resentments. Doesn’t let you be free. The person turns into a kind of EMO rational slave.
Psychologists distinguish 4 types of addictions.
This type of addiction is more common for girls. They are prone to the manifestation of tenderness, gentleness, attention, and emotional intimacy. They are looking for support and that person whose life can be made warmer and more comfortable.
A similar image is carefully written out by writers, poets, and artists. He embodies the ideal of love and family relationships.
But what if this softness and tenderness become too much? Behind the manifestations of love, in an attempt to show the depth of your feelings, you begin to dissolve in your partner. As a result, you lose yourself, you cannot understand who you are, and you turn into a shadow.
If you choose to do so, please do so:
- You keep melting into your lover until you annoy him. Few people are interested in having a person next to them who does not have their interests.
- You try to keep him, you humiliate yourself, he uses it – he can laugh at you, manipulate you.
- You are disappointed in yourself and your partner, and you start to go crazy and show aggression.
The problem with this type of addiction is low self-esteem, inability or unwillingness to become strong, lack of interest in life, and inability to realize its meaning. The person seems to say: “I am weak, you are stronger than me. Take me and do whatever you want.”
The reverse type of dependence is absorption. One of the partners is trying to capture the second, to subdue him, to subdue his will. His goal is self-realization, but not at the expense of his strength and efforts, but at the expense of the one who loves him.
Perhaps they laughed at him as a child. Now they continue to be considered a loser or a weakling. So that it is on in the globe you are called so that it isn’t there, it’s mental. This is what his partner has to pay for.
It is interesting that in such marriages one can often find such logic in relationships – if everything is bad at work, with friends, then it is allowed to succeed in the family. And the other half for the time being, for the time being, supports this approach.
Do you remember how in the “Tale of the Dead Princess” the queen asked for a mirror and was happy to hear that she was the most remembered? So in real life, there are people who want to see their wonderful reflection in the eyes of their loved ones.
On the other hand, the partner is there for you. But as soon as the second half begins to show skepticism, and shows signs of distrust or irritation, they are gone.
It doesn’t necessarily mean divorce. Such a person, saving the marriage, begins to look for a new passion on the side. Another Option – Turns to humiliation, Aggression, Making them feel their Power, To trample on the Mirror, which, from their point of view, is lying.
A broken reflection is akin to destruction. More often men, but there are examples of women, becoming tyrants. Partners for them are slaves who do not have the right to want or dream about anything. They must obey, be silent, and endure.
The hero himself is an ideal, a person who has the right and authority to exercise strength. He manipulates, mocks, humiliates, and offends others. He is allowed to accuse others of non-existent sins, to present everything in such a light that they are to blame for everything.
Avoiding addiction in a relationship is extremely difficult. People are most often driven by selfishness. To build a constructive relationship, it is recommended to work out your complexes, and grievances, respect your partner and not allow you to cross boundaries.