Persona non grata. Parents don’t like your boyfriend?

A lot of anecdotes have been written on this topic, coaches and relationship gurus (of which there have been a suspiciously many lately) wiped their fingers in the blood, distributing advice, frantically clicking on the keyboard. And how many literary works and paintings are devoted to this problem!

The content of the article

In this article, we will analyze the most popular reasons why “suitors” fall out of favor with their parents. For those who can boast of an ideal relationship between parents and boyfriend, we also advise you not to relax: read this article and learn from the mistakes of others.



Oddly enough, this reason is one of the most common. At the same time, it is not so important how old the grown daughter is – fifteen or twenty-three. Parents cannot come to terms with the fact that their little angel has grown up, has begun to be interested not only in books, but also in boys. He also sleeps outside the house.

If this is familiar to you, we can only sympathize. But let’s look at the situation from the parents’ side: perhaps you gave them reason to doubt their own maturity? If you still do not know how to take responsibility, be responsible for your actions and live “one day”, it is possible that your parents do not consider your relationship serious. And they are not ready to spend warm feelings on a temporary hobby.

Everything is OK with responsibility, and you already calculated taxes for the whole family at the age of five? Then the point is a banal lack of attention to your parents on your part. Until recently, you lived with them under the same roof, they knew the names of all your girlfriends, and you trusted the secrets not to the diary, but to your mother.

In this case, gently but firmly explain to your parents that you continue to love and appreciate them (you need to tell your parents as often as possible, believe me), but now you are an adult girl and you want to be loved. And, in the future, give them pretty grandchildren.

dark past

If your parents knew your man in absentia and managed to learn a lot of unpleasant facts about him, then it will be very difficult to convince them. You can endlessly list his outstanding qualities, but it will be of little use. Let the man correct the situation.

He must not by word, but by deed, prove that he has embarked on the true path, and protects you like the apple of his eye. Casually tell your mom and dad about how he took care of you and cooked chicken broth when you were sick. Or about how he saves homeless cats. For this, you can add a couple of points to karma.

Everything you need to know when meeting a guy’s parents so that they will definitely like them here.

watch your language

Complaining to someone about your partner, remember that you will eventually cool down and forgive, but people who love you will remember your tears. If you really want to complain to someone about your boyfriend, it’s better to call a friend. If you constantly insult your boyfriend in your hearts, say how bad it is for you and wet your pillow with tears, don’t be surprised that your parents don’t digest him.

View from the outside

Most will not like this item, but we must include it. Not always mom and dad slander their daughter’s boyfriend for how much in vain. While you sit in rose-colored glasses and do not notice the lies, tyranny or indifference of a man, your impartial parents notice everything no worse than FBI agents.

You have to think for yourself, of course. But sometimes you should listen to people who sincerely wish you well.

The senses

No matter how hard you try to hide negative emotions, hanging a mask of cheerfulness, they will bite you. A mother who, from your young, not yet manicured nails, knows all your grimaces and facial expressions, will immediately understand that something is wrong with you. If, after a relationship with a man, you become withdrawn, irritable and anxious, your parents will immediately write it off for the fact that your boyfriend is a tyrant.

If the reason for this is a problem at work, then tell them about it. And then look at the sweetheart with loving eyes and sincerely smile: let your caring producers understand that this guy is your support and support. This is exactly what they want from him.

Prevent and defuse

How to prevent the cooling of relations between a guy and his potential mother-in-law and father-in-law:

  • Even if you do not plan to meet your parents yet, do not evade questions about it. Otherwise, parental hearts will begin to be filled with distrust and anxiety.
  • Don’t put off dating. The guy on the run doesn’t inspire confidence.
  • Tell your parents more often about how happy you are with him, how well he treats you and pampers you.
  • Prepare responsibly for the first meeting. Both mother and father should be in good spirits.
  • Don’t squeeze in front of your parents. No matter how liberal their views are, they will not appreciate his hand on your ass.

  • Don’t complain about your boyfriend to your parents. Why read above. They will forever remember him as “the asshole who left you alone on a holiday.”
  • Alcohol can both reduce and dangerously increase the degree of stress.
  • If your chosen one has somewhat non-standard views, and your parents are exceptional conservatives, ask your man in advance to save his eloquence for a more appropriate occasion.

36. If mom is against your man. 100 relationship questions. Psychologist Vadim Kurkin answers

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