Ping in relationships – what is it, who does it and why? Ping is something that often happens in relationships after a breakup. Both men and women can ping. This is a kind of “ringing”, checking the connection, a reminder of yourself, throwing in new hooks for continuing relationships, communication, sex and achieving other goals. Let’s sort it all out, define what it means to ping in a relationship and how it works in life.
Why do people ping after a breakup?
There can be many reasons for pinging. Some of the most common among them are:
- to renew a relationship for one-time sex or other desires;
- turn the former “soulmate” into “canned food” – use it as a spare resource after parting, if nothing works out with new partners;
- add new factors and triggers that will make a person even more dependent, wanting to meet, renew relationships;
- to introduce triangulation, when a third party, as it were, “warms up” a new relationship, giving grounds for jealousy, manipulation, blackmail for today’s partner.
Also, pings are often done to increase a person’s self-esteem: “Does she / he love me the same way as before, does she remember?” Sometimes one of the ex-couples pings if he is bored. But still, ping usually has a specific goal.
What do pings usually look like?
Ping is a constant reference to the past. As a rule, bad things are quickly forgotten, and good things become even more beautiful thanks to fantasy and speculation. That is why a person, having caught a ping, is quickly “led” to it, succumbs to provocations and after a couple of minutes or hours is ready for a new meeting.
We are sure that you have already seen pings more than once, you just could not always identify them. Most often they look harmless, although this is only the tip of the iceberg, there is much more hidden “under water” than shown above it. Here are the most common options for how people ping:
- activity in social networks – a person can post sad pictures with a hint of a previous relationship in stories and social networks, upload photos of the former, or show their activity in a different way;
- letters – a person can directly write to you in personal messages or direct, conduct a dialogue about an ended relationship or on an abstract topic;
- behavior “as if nothing had happened” – a person can pretend that everything is fine in your relationship, “as before”, communicate with you in a friendly manner, mark you in a photo or even come to visit;
- actions through third parties – here all mutual acquaintances and friends, relatives can go into action, and he can act in a veiled or explicit way;
- photos with a new partner or a demonstration of happiness;
- acting out a performance – here a person will prove himself as a real actor and show everyone around you and you a passionate drama – the plot can be different, including accidents, fainting, heart attacks (everything that will bring you to emotions).
Do you think everything? No. Lots of options. Any strange messages, innocent emoticons and stickers in messages, gifts without accompanying notes, and even a call from the series “sorry, I just pressed the wrong place” can become a ping. Some manage to ping even through the bank.
If a person is blocked everywhere, sending a small amount of money with a message can remind you of him.
Ping or rekindled feelings?
Often, ping is perceived as the beginning of rapprochement, a comeback, a rekindled flame of feelings. But in fact, it is a manipulation that is used to achieve certain goals.
If you are in doubt, then remember that the one who really needs to return a partner, who has changed and is ready to re-enter a relationship with you, will not test the waters. He will immediately start with an open dialogue, where honesty on both sides is important.
If there are conditions under which you are ready / ready to return to the relationship, you need to voice them immediately. It is important to clearly define your boundaries and desires. And it’s better to think about what you want to say to your partner in advance. The main thing to remember is that you need to really look at things, people and the world around.
Ping in relationships – what is it, who does it and why?
Remember how hard it is for you to change. How difficult it is to lose weight, there is a parting with bad habits. Now imagine that a person will have to change, but not for himself, because he wants to, but simply to comply with your rules. And you will understand everything without further ado.
That is why comebacks so often end in a new breakup, and even more painful and difficult. Even if a person is ready to change and has made efforts on himself, this does not mean at all that he could become different.
Sometimes it’s better to get over a breakup, make everything “sick” and turn the page to start a new chapter in your book and never return to the past.
How to properly respond to pings?
Getting out of any relationship is very difficult. And here it is not so much important how long you stayed with your partner. The main thing is how emotionally attached you are to him. In any case, “parting is a small death.” And what has already died, although it attracts, beckons with its recent beauty and warmth, only in rare cases can be reborn again.
After the end of a relationship with a toxic person or a painful breakup, the best thing to do is to protect yourself right away. To do this, you should add your ex-partner to the block in all social networks and instant messengers, notify relatives and friends about the breakup and the desire not to hear anything about the ex-boyfriend and spouse.
If you have children from this person, everything is much more complicated, but here you can also agree. Although the pinging person will most likely want to manipulate through them as well.
If, nevertheless, the ping has reached you, you should not react to it and become emotionally involved. Ignore the person, do not try to prove something to him. Don’t even reply to innocuous messages. The only exceptions here are cases where the couple has common children.
Don’t like his social media posts, don’t even go to his page. This will cause pain, will again pick up the already dried and almost healed wound. Don’t believe words, only actions matter. And the pinging person usually does not do any real actions.
What to do so that pings do not bring pain?
Don’t give in
Most importantly, try to protect yourself from them. If this failed, you received or received a ping, do not be upset and ignore, as already written above. To forget the old relationship and “start living” again, you have to work on yourself.
Most often they ping in relationships that were toxic, where there was codependency, or one of the partners was an abuser. Recall that pings and abuse do not have a gender – both a man and a woman can act this way.
Be yourself again
So that even the pings that have reached you (and they will still reach you, even if you blocked a person everywhere and left for another city), you need to shift the focus of attention to your life. Namely, you need to remember who you were before meeting this person and before this relationship, what you loved, what you did.
It is important not only to “seem” to be a successful and happy person, but to actually become one.
Take care of yourself, your career, hobby, self-development, health or appearance. And not for someone else, but for yourself and your own well-being. Maximize your life.
Minus toxic people
Look at things and events around you with a “sober” look. Remove all toxic people from your life if possible. When not possible, reduce contact with them or increase the distance.
People do not change
Stop lying to yourself: the person who writes to you has not changed and has not understood anything, he just wants to get something from you, whether it is a resource, an increase in his own self-esteem, or something else.
Contact a specialist
If thoughts about the former partner do not leave, in the head even a few months after the breakup, dialogues with him, guilt or sadness that interferes with life, it is better to contact a psychologist. After all, sometimes attitudes, many of which come from childhood, are to blame for such states.
It is not always possible to get rid of them on your own, the help of a specialist here will come in handy.
It’s never too late
And the most important thing. Even if you broke off (or broke off) the relationship, but then constantly got involved in it again, accepted the partner’s pings and answered them, experienced emotional swings, suffered, cried, didn’t sleep at night, everything can be stopped. Right today. Start a new life in which there will be no place for a person who hurt you and did not want to get lost in the past.
Pings – as a kind of manipulation. What it is? Ping in relationships – what is it, who does it and why?