Polyamorous relationships: “legalized” freedom, a guarantee of trust. In 2011, a romantic comedy called “Hidle Week” was released. In the story, two wives grant their husbands complete sexual freedom without any marital consequences. The film itself is, of course, very funny. However, he raises a rather important problem – the commitment of many couples to monogamy.
In general, our culture favors monogamy. And for many couples, infidelity equals disaster. “He cheated on me. It’s all over,” people think something like this. However, there are other couples for whom fidelity is more of an unpleasant limitation than a necessity. Life seems gray and monotonous to them; and all because of the fact that you need to be faithful to just one partner.
But in the event that for both partners this lifestyle seems boring and limiting, there is no reason to continue to adhere to it. At least in what biology tells us.
Polyamorous Relationships in the Modern World
On the one hand, it is well known that humans evolved from monkeys. In ape society, alpha males have large harems. Polygamy was also common in the Bible. The Mormon community practiced polygamy officially until 1890.
There are those cultures where polyandry was practiced – when there are several men for one woman. Even Julius Caesar noted that polyandry was widespread in ancient Britain. And representatives of the Lusi tribe in Papua New Guinea still believe that for the healthy development of the fetus, a pregnant woman must have sexual contact with several men.
However, polygamy (or, as it is also called, “polyamorous relationships”) is interesting not only for representatives of African tribes. In many fairly civilized regions – say, in Europe or the USA – there are clubs for swinger sex. There are those that are open to everyone; in other places, couples or single women can have fun.
Openness in Relationships: It’s Better Than Cheating
Those who adhere to monogamy argue that polygamy will simply destroy their relationship. However, there are quite a few couples in long-term relationships who are happy to cheat on their partners on the side. And yet they never stopped loving them.
No matter how much society condemns such relationships, there is still more sincerity in them than in those couples where one or both partners cheat on each other. Polygamy involves full disclosure of information about oneself: where, with whom, how and how much. Couples who adhere to the principles of polyamorous relationships always care about the safety of sex, as well as mutual consent (although, as practice shows, one of the spouses is always more interested in this format of relations).
Polyamorous relationships are not constant orgies. For most couples, polygamy is a carefully planned break from normal relationships. All details are negotiated with a partner, and a date with a lover or mistress cannot affect the relationship in any way.
An interesting study has been done in America. It showed that about 1% of adult couples practice monogamy. Another 2% are curious about the polyamorous lifestyle: from time to time these people visit specialized sex clubs. There are about 60 million married couples in the US. And if from 1 to 3% of them sometimes allow themselves to go beyond the boundaries of traditional marital sex, then their number is about 600,000-1.8 million.
How to decide?
Those who would like to try themselves in a polyamorous relationship should first talk about this with their regular partner. Perhaps he will agree to polygamy; or you may need to try this format first to make a final decision. As a rule, if the second partner does not agree, then after two or three dates he lets know: “No, I don’t need it.”
Suppose both partners are interested in polyamory. In this case, you should consider a few basic rules.
First, all questions of interest should be discussed. Don’t go on adventures. Be as specific as possible in communication, and do not turn polyamorous relationships into continuous orgies. You can also talk about the types of sex that are acceptable or unacceptable. For example: “You can kiss a stranger or masturbate his dick. But don’t have classic or oral sex.”
It is equally important to discuss the details of the meeting, the possible presence of a second partner. There are polygamous couples for whom only one dating option is acceptable – when the second partner is present in the same room and participates in the process. Others do not feel particularly comfortable in such a situation, and ask him, for example, to wait in the kitchen.
When embarking on a polyamorous relationship, it is worth weighing your own preferences, as well as possible risks. There is no guarantee that the partner will not receive serious psycho-emotional trauma when he sees his lover having sex with a stranger. It is also important to remember that the purpose of polygamy is not to separate partners, but to make life more pleasant.
Polyamorous relationships: “legalized” freedom, a guarantee of trust?