Relations after marriage deteriorated – what is happening and why? Our country has a very high divorce rate. Most of it takes place 1-3 years after the wedding. The reason is a sharp deterioration in relations between spouses in parallel with the appearance of a stamp in the passport. Is there a more or less adequate explanation for this?
Actually yes. From the point of view of psychology, a couple who has entered into an official marriage may face a number of negative factors that worsen the quality of living together. Sometimes the cause lies on the surface, but most often it needs to be looked for.
Why does my relationship with my husband worsen?
Photo author Pavel Danilyuk: Pexels
Sometimes it just seems that love has passed, and the tomatoes have wilted. In fact, the differences are quite mundane underpinnings. Here are the most likely causes of damage to relations with a newly-made spouse, from the point of view of personal and semihiѹ:
- Joint lapping.
Not all people understand that no one can be perfect. Each person has some shortcomings that have to be put up with. Or the spouse just needs some time to rein them in.
The first years of living together after marriage are a period of adaptation of partners to each other. Everyone tries to indicate their own boundaries and test the strength of others. At the same time, husband and wife learn to compromise, not noticing mutual shortcomings.
This is normal, so such small quarrels should not be considered critical. If the couple is not divorced at this stage, then their life will be smoother. Requirements are revised and habits are updated.
- Dissolution of illusions (disappointment).
Many young people have some definite idea about marriage, which rarely matches the harsh reality. It seems to the girls that after the wedding, life becomes like a fairy tale, which their mothers in their childhood used to live in n.
Guys often think that the appearance in the apartment of the housekeeper Potem, who appears in the apartment, that it supposedly should be so by default.
In fact, two completely different people simply end up on the same living space, who always expect something from each other and do not understand where their “halva in chocolate” is. Here it is necessary to understand that the image of an ideal family simply does not exist.
Each couple lives as it is comfortable for them. A woman may well earn money, and her husband can take care of life and children. It’s perfectly fine as long as it suits both. The main thing is to realize the needs of each other in time.
- Demonstration of the true face of man.
In the meantime, it’s not that big. Abusive relationships often start off beautifully. A man courts and promises mountains of gold, just to get the girl to be his wife and deprive her of her independence, for example, through material dependence.
And what to do after the wedding?
As a rule, immediately after this, the fairy tale ends and the masks are torn off. A difficult coexistence begins with a toxic partner who is trying to assert himself at the expense of his own suffering. And in this case, a timely divorce will be the best way out.
- Stress due to changes in social status and living conditions.
Most of the time you want to see by yourself, not too many people. When it’s time to get married, it turns out that the bed now needs to be shared with a partner, and breakfast in the form of light yogurt will no longer work, you have to fully cook.
At first, you can categorically reject such changes in your life. And that provokes emotional skirmishes with the spouse. As a result, stress and thoughts that you got married in vain.
If this is the time to shove strong ob and pringese to understand each other in a new simple situation Quarrels should not be taken to heart. Remember that cohabitation is not always easy.
- Objective and financial problems.
It is necessary to maintain cleanliness in the apartment, dinner will not be prepared on its own, and you also need to have time to work, while remaining the most desirable and sexy for your husband. And here lies the so-called bone of contention.
Household duties should be shared between both spouses. The wrong decision would be to transfer all the worries to one person (most often “one”), only to someone, h ^ io or “or”
In terms of finance, it is also not so easy. When two people decide to get married, the costs often go up. And when you both know, but spend money in the first place, because the needs of ° m m and and and and and and and and and.
- Too fast or unplanned appearance of children.
It seems that babies are always happiness. However, psychologists even have such a thing as untimely pregnancy. Most marriages formed for by a reason are forced to break up in the near future after the registrar.
Children are always hard. Especially when partners are not morally ready to spend so much time and effort on a third family member. because he feels an acute deficit of attention and zab.
And for sure you will start to get torn that the newfound one does not have any responsibility for going to neodymium. There are misunderstandings, quarrels and wild fatigue of both young parents. Therefore, children should appear only in a mature marriage.
Typical female mistakes that destroy official relationships
And now let’s talk about those wrong things that girls do. Men and women are very different from each other. Therefore, reaching an understanding is not so easy. In the case of the main female parts, which may allow privacy in the dismantling of the brakes:
- Constant accusations. Imagine yourself in the place of a partner. It is very unpleasant to hear that you are doing everything wrong on a regular basis. In addition to that, it is possible to plan and organize the components. A spouse may well want to get away from a toxic relationship.
- Lack of emphasis on good points. Need to see at least something-narratives, yeshus if the joint life is 90% and and and and attempts iss. It really strengthens a marriage.
- Rejection of intimacy as punishment. Sex should not become a reward or a punishment, as well as a duty. Your husband will probably think that he has become unattractive in your eyes. And that really undermines marital life.
- total control. You need to be interested in your husband’s life. No so that it doesn’t look like trying to tie it to a battery. Lack of trust and pathological jealousy have destroyed more than one marriage.
- Hushing up insults. Sooner or later, the dam will break everything, and instead of a general constipation, you will get times. Progovarivay svoy nedovolstvo to more ego vozniknoveniya.
- The expectation that the spouse himself will understand or guess something. It just won’t happen, take it for granted. 99% of men don’t get hints. If you want your partner to do something, be sure to be open about your need.
Marriage rests on the shoulders of two people. If your spouse openly abdicates all responsibility, you should not try to take it out silently alone. Communicate more heart to heart, do not take differences and grinding to heart. We can go through a lot together.