Relations with a divorced woman with a child and their psychology! Is there a chance to find love and build a strong relationship if there is a child from another man? How to behave with him? How can you help your child accept a new family member? And how to understand that a man is ready to accept your child?
How to communicate with a man if you have a child?
Many people build strong relationships even if the woman has a child with another man. For some of the men this is not a problem, for others it is a matter of principle. Both of them have the right to do so.
But a lot depends on your behavior. Here are some tips to help you:
- do not hide the truth from him – you should not start a relationship with deceit, because this undermines trust, shows that you do not believe in a man and are trying to make a choice for him. Although he himself has the right to decide whether he is ready to raise someone else’s child.
This honesty will help you not to lose time and not face disappointment;
- do not try to “fit” him into the role of a father – first of all, a man wants to be your lover. He starts a relationship on in order to become a father. He is not obliged to love your child from the very first minutes. Everything takes time. Therefore, work more on your relationships;
- spend time with him and show that you are not only a mother, but also his beloved. Many men are afraid that a woman will always devote time only to a child, and he will remain “on the sidelines.” Yes, motherhood requires full dedication, but if these relationships are valuable to you, devote time and energy to them;
- “make friends” with the ego’s child – emotional contact does not arise “from scratch”. They must find common hobbies, games, get to know each other;
- give up fears, attitudes, and opinions of others – they force you to look at things subjectively, experience anxiety, see problems where they do not exist, and project your doubts onto a man. Clearly share and understand your feelings, analyze the reasons for your fears and try to understand how they are usually the anti-wonder objective.
Will he accept your child will depend on his attitude towards children in general. There are several signs that show that he can become part of the family and love your child:
- he is not the only child in the family;
- you notice that he likes to communicate with the children of his relatives and friends;
- on emotionally it is, but it is two words that are of interest to you;
- he does not run from responsibility;
- he does not demonstrate jealousy or resentment when you need to cancel a meeting with him for the sake of a child;
- he readily offers his help.
How can a woman with a child build a relationship with a man?
If the child is not a mom, he absolutely wants to find contact with you. For any relationship, effort and a sincere desire to find common ground are needed.
How to communicate with a child when you have a man?
For a child, any changes in life are perceived much more acutely than for an adult. Especially when it comes to the appearance of another person in the family
- convey your feelings to him – given his age, try to explain in an accessible way how important a new man is to you, what feelings you have for him, how much happiness and peace he brings to you. The child needs to understand how you feel. Since on loves you, on will be able to accept your choice, even if it takes time;
- show that for you he will remain in the first place – despite the fact that you love a man, do not forget to remind your child that he is the most precious thing you have and always will be. Even if you take it for granted, the child may not understand this and experience jealousy and even fear that he will be unnecessary in a new family;
- have a child talk about his feelings Since he must be afraid to admit his doubts, jealousy, h size Don’t worry about that emoji,. Show that you understand him, that he has the right to these feelings, but you still love him;
- try to spend more time with the child, play with him, be interested in his life – show that you are still his mother, strengthen emotional contact;
- do not impose on the child that he should “love the new dad” – love and affection do not arise from scratch, it takes time, and trust is made up of the actions that your man does in relation to the child;
- do not introduce the child to her husband if you are not sure that your relationship is serious – if the child has time to become attached, it will hurt him when the man disappears from your life. If this is not the case, your child will be different from all the other people;
- do not try to belittle the child’s own father and compare him with a new man – this will cause hostility, anger and resentment on the part of the child, because he has every right to love his father;
- respect the opinion of the child – no matter how old he is, he is still a person who has the right to build his own judgments about the other. If they are negative, try to decide together with your husband what needs to be done to change this opinion.
It happens that a man also has children from another woman. On the one hand, this is good, because he already has the experience of fatherhood and he understands that this is not scary. In addition, he is more willing to accept a woman with children.
On the other side, a number of difficulties arise. You need to jointly decide how and with whom of the children you communicate. If you want, the mustobes received two d and paid attention, you can do it yourself bt Togda was soyus building, and in other than two dowers.
In this case, it will be useful to try to “make friends” of children from different marriages, but you cannot demand this from them. After all, unlike relatives, people choose friends themselves. Friendship is based on spending time together, common interests, trust in each other. It cannot be created artificially.
You can only create conditions for it to appear, for example, general leisure. But it is important to remember that children from different marriages have the right to experience hostility towards each other, there may be a life between them. If you don’t have enough time to talk to other people, you don’t have to worry about it.
From the point of view of psychology, it is quite possible to create a strong relationship, even when a woman has a child from a girl.
The main thing is your love, patience, understanding and sincere desire to understand each other. Then through create a happy family. After all, sometimes the relationship of children with their stepfather is much closer and better than with their own father. It all depends on the personality of the man and your love with him.