Relations with your husband after the birth of a child: 8 tips. Relationships with a husband after the birth of a child change, no matter how hard we try to resist it. But whether they become worse or better depends on the couple itself. First, you need to understand what is happening, and then step by step to overcome the crisis. If this is not done, the union may collapse. We will tell you how to return feelings and establish an emotional connection with the appearance of an heir.
A newborn needs a lot of attention. If earlier all free time could be spent together, now it is practically not enough for a normal conversation “about this and that”. Only on business.
Long preludes and a joint trip to the cinema are out of the question. The man is gradually annoyed by the female fixation on the child, as well as the increased demands on household chores. Did you wash your hands well? Do not use deodorant in the apartment – it’s harmful! But she’s not to blame – that’s how hormones work, maternal instinct.
In addition, the woman is rampant with postpartum depression. She has neither the strength nor the desire to establish any kind of relationship there. Here at least survive your personal crisis and not die from lack of sleep. A man at this time is already jealous of his mother for a newborn, experiencing an acute lack of attention and care.
Here are the main causes of conflicts in this period:
- restrictions in sex;
- change in the usual rhythm of life;
- accumulated fatigue;
- financial and domestic problems;
- frequent illnesses of the child;
- lack of parental feelings;
- excessive participation of relatives in the life of young parents.
1. Love yourself.
Men love us when we like ourselves. It is not necessary to immediately run to the gym – extra pounds will go away gradually. But a new hairstyle, light makeup, beautiful home clothes will create a special feminine look. It attracts even more than an evening dress.
Do not forget about self-development. You can visit mom forums, but you should not leave your old hobbies. An interesting book on psychology, a fresh feature film, soap making – it doesn’t matter what the topic of conversation will be, the main thing is not to concentrate entirely on the child. This will not benefit either the baby or the relationship with her husband after childbirth.
Relations with your husband after the birth of a child: 8 tips.
2. Talk frankly
The problem of many young mothers is that they are afraid to admit to themselves or their husbands that they are tired or weak. A man will not know about the real feelings and sensations of his wife if she does not tell him about it.
Often, having taken on all the housework, women fall off their feet to show that I can handle everything. Not everyone can do such a marathon, and why run it alone.
If you say what has accumulated, there is a chance to get even closer. But the main thing is to avoid claims, I formulate theses. For example, “I would like you to take care of some household chores” instead of “You don’t help me at all“, “I miss attention“, but not “You don’t pay attention to me, maybe you already found someone?“.
3. Bring the child closer to the father
So that the young dad does not feel detached in the “mother-child” tandem, he must get closer, get to know the baby. Left alone with a child, men feel responsible, involved in what is happening, they realize how difficult it is to look after a child and do household chores at the same time.
Joint sleep, a walk, educational games – you need to give space and a field for the realization of paternal potential. So there will be more time for yourself – you can drink coffee in a cozy cafe or meet with friends. But in any case, do not run for shopping. Only rest. Then the couple will have something to share at the end of the day – positive emotions.
Establishing relations with her husband after childbirth in this way, the main thing is not to overdo it. This applies more to those who are lucky with their daughter. She should not come to the fore, pushing her wife away. What often happens when an overly caring father wakes up in a man.
4. Spend time together
Caring grandparents are a godsend for young parents. If there are none nearby, you can turn to a nanny or friends. Now, more than ever, a couple needs to be together. You don’t have to go on a romantic date right away. Any joint leisure brings together, relieves stress, makes it possible to speak out without being distracted by the crying of the child.
Even a few hours are enough to recharge each other’s energy. You can go to the movies, play bowling or just go for a walk. If you spend quality time together at least a few times a week, the number of quarrels will be significantly reduced.
5. Establish intimate relationships
Usually in women after childbirth, sexual sensations are complemented by new shades. Thoughts about what exactly has changed can be shared with a partner, because he, too, cannot but feel the changes.
The benefit is obvious – time to try new positions, rhythms, and styles of behavior during intimacy. The main thing is not to deny each other affection – prolonged abstinence turns a couple from lovers into friends. Sad statistics say that most couples in this period break up due to the appearance of a third person who is ready to understand and satisfy sexual desires.
Relations with your husband after the birth of a child: 8 tips.
6. Don’t lock yourself up at home
Nothing affects the relationship with a husband after the birth of a child so well as traveling together. While gray everyday life of the same type eats up the remaining romance. To renew an emotional connection, it is enough to change the place of lodging for the night and the landscape outside the window. For a child, you can rent a car seat or a portable cradle, get a cooler bag, and other devices that ensure a comfortable stay outside the home.
7. Set limits for relatives
Sometimes new grandparents are too active, and some are even tactless. They are firmly convinced that the youth will not cope without their edification. Thus, the first personal boundaries of the family are violated.
A priori, there can be no harmonious relationship in the house, where the mother-in-law hints to the daughter-in-law that she does not know how or is doing something wrong. This also applies to the mother-in-law, who likes to grumble that her son-in-law does not feel sorry for her daughter, does not help, and earns little. In all situations and problems, it is better to understand yourself.
8. Consult a psychologist
Men are especially frightened by the offers of partners to make an appointment with a psychologist. They usually present the classic picture of two people answering personal questions from a stranger sitting across from them. But the goal is not to get specific instructions from a relationship guru. Trainings, games, testing, playing roles bring together, open the way to each other. What is the theory of five love languages? It turns out that two loving people can express feelings in completely different ways. Someone needs words, and someone reacts exclusively to bodily touch. Such psychological exercises establish emotional contact. And this is exactly what is needed now.
Tensions with a husband after the birth of a child is a stage that almost everyone goes through. This phenomenon is temporary, but quite dangerous. Especially if you do nothing. By following our eight tips, you can deal with misunderstandings and qualitatively strengthen the emotional connection with your partner.
Relations with your husband after the birth of a child: 8 tips.
