It seems that if people stopped Loving each other, then this is a significant reason for parting, After all, nothing more holds a man and a woman Together. No in life is a little more complicated. What really holds people together?
Is marriage always equal to love?
It happens that people love each other, but are forced to leave due to insurmountable circumstances, misunderstandings of misunderstanding. And it happens that they continue to remain married, although feelings have long cooled down.
You can choose 3 forms of brak between the two:
- family connection
Relationships between people can take on different forms over time. Former lovers may cease to experience passion and attraction over the years, but mutual understanding and friendship, spiritual closeness remain between them.
In this case, we are talking about the fact that the spouses began to perceive each other as relatives. There is no intimacy between them, but they feel like a family. And if it suits both, then such a marriage can last for years, if not a lifetime.
- Parallel matching
It happens that there is not even friendship – between spouses there is indifference and complete indifference. In this form of marriage, partners actually live in parallel, each has their own affairs, interests, and the only points of contact are:
- common living space;
- domestic issues;
- children their upbringing;
- general financial obligations.
Such a marriage continues simply because there is no real possibility for a man and a woman to part, since this will greatly complicate their lives.
- Non-reciprocal love
One of the spouses still feels love and holds on to the marriage, and the second either pretends to still love, or declares that there are no more feelings, but he tolerates the partner.
This is an unequal relationship, in which one constantly tries, invests, taking care of his spouse, tries to return his former feelings, and the second simply allows himself to be loved.
TOP 5 reasons for a relationship without love
If there is no love in marriage, this does not mean that relationships do not make people happy. There are always certain hidden reasons that force a man and a woman to hold on to each other.
There are 5 most typical motives:
- They fulfill other needs
How long can you be a mistress and concubine?
A person has a need for love, intimate and spiritual intimacy, communication, and for this people converge. No poroi dazhe it no udovletvoreny one potrebnosti, brak mozhet pomochü udovletvorit drogugie.
One of these needs is security. Every person needs to feel at home as a place where he feels protected, where he can be himself.
The concept of a house is very subjective and depends not so much on living space, but on the inner feeling of psychological comfort in a certain place and with a certain person.
The need for security also includes the material well-being that spouses provide to each other.
So, in 2019, the All-Russian Public Opinion Research Center (VTsIOM) conducted a population survey. It turned out that 46% of Russians believe that financial problems are the most significant reason for divorce.
By the way, they put betrayal in second place (22%) and selfishness and misunderstanding between spouses in third place (21%).
Another need is stability. A certain person becomes the guarantor of a reliable future. People get used to being together, it is the realization that life flows in a measured way that helps to cope with children
The third need is self-realization. Don’t forget to do it in the carcass or in two words. For many, this or that social status is part of self-realization. Being a wife or husband is also a status, a psychological role that becomes part of the personality.
- Together for the children
Sometimes spouses put the well-being of the child above their need for love, so they stay married so as not to injure the child’s psyche, because the child needs both parents. According to the same VTsIOM statistics, 15% of people are sure that it is impossible to raise a child alone.
Such a position can be justified only if between the spouses there is still a good fight between the spouses.
However, if people have to endure each other, if family life is accompanied by constant conflicts and claims, this can have a more negative effect on the child than divorce.
- Social Attitudes
Sometimes people are held together by social stereotypes, religious views, or family attitudes: “That’s how it should be,” “A woman must endure,” “Marriage is once and for all.” The state of affairs is that of the people who live there.
Often behind this is the fear of condemnation by relatives or the environment, a sense of shame being divorced, as if there is “something wrong” with a person who did not save the marriage, no one needs him.
In fact, behind it is not so much the desire to maintain a sense of stability, How much the fear of change, And it doesn’t matter if they are good or bad. Any exit from the comfort zone is perceived by a person as a stressful situation.
This was confirmed by the research “Fear of the unknown: One fear to rule them all?” 2016 year, published in the American newspaper “Journal of Anxiety Disorders”. Neuroscientists have established a direct link between fear of the unknown and levels of anxiety.
- Fear of being alone
Another reason that keeps people together is the fear that no one needs them anymore, that there will not be another lover, that it will not be possible to build close relationships.
Often this is reinforced by self-doubt or negative stereotypes about divorce, age, etc.
SuperJob conducted an open survey of 5,000 Russians, the main theme of which was fear. As it turned out, almost everyone admitted that they were afraid of something. At the same time, a third admitted that their biggest fear is to be alone. Such answers were given by 38% of women and 32% of men.
So is it worth staying together if there is no more love? Each person must find the answer to this question for himself. For this, it is important to analyze what kind of reason makes Him stay with an unloved person, and to understand how rational it is.
It is also important to consider not only the presence or absence of love, but also the quality of your relationship – is there trust, friendship, interest in them, do you experience moments of happiness and what is the level of your psychological comfort when you are next to a man,