She doesn’t love me what should I do? How to change her mind? She doesn’t love me, but maybe that can be changed.
She Loves Me.
She loves me not.
She Loves Me.
She loves me not.
We slowly pluck one petal after the other. The last petal will reveal the truth to us, whether our crush loves us or not.
When the flower divination ended with a he/she loves me, we were over the moon. Of course, that was the truth, the flower knows.
We would then go on with our lives satisfied. But if the flower didn’t end with He / She loves me, that wasn’t a big problem either.
It was the wrong flower. We just picked a new flower and went on with our fortune-telling.
She Loves Me. She does not love me. He loves me. He does not love me.
And we kept repeating it until we found the flower that promised us our happy ending. That was how easy it was in childhood to deal with unrequited love.
Today it’s a little more complicated. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?
Would you like to take a flower now to discover the truth?
Are you sure that your dream woman has no feelings for you, or do you believe that there is still a chance, even if the smallest chance, that you are wrong and she loves you after all?
To find out if she loves you and what to do if the answer is She doesn’t love you, we need to first make a difference.
It’s not the same when you’ve been a couple for a long time and you’re afraid that she won’t love you any more or when it’s an unrequited love that hasn’t even had a chance to begin.
Different fates also require different approaches.
I’m going to tell you two different stories, the experiences of two of my friends whose lives were very different but who had the same problem – she didn’t love him.
Depending on the situation that is more similar to you, this article will also give you tips on what to do if she doesn’t love you (anymore).
So let’s get started.
First story: I love her, she doesn’t love me
Tim and Katrin have known each other for five years. Tim has been in love with Katrin for just as long.
When he first met her through mutual friends, she was already in a relationship. This relationship lasted for the next three years.
Tim contented himself with being a good friend to Katrin and being happy because of her happiness. When their relationship ended, he thought he finally had a chance.
But he didn’t want to try it right away. He wanted to give her some time first to process their breakup. At that time, too, he was a good friend and often a shoulder she could cry on.
When after half a year it looked like she was feeling better, he finally wanted to do something. He gathered all his courage and called her to meet her and confess his feelings to her.
But it never came to that. When he called her, she told him that she had something very important to tell him.
For a few seconds, Tim thought that his life was perfect and that Katrin will tell him that she loves him and that she wants a relationship with him.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t. She told him that she met someone new, that she was in love and a new relationship.
Tim’s heart broke into a thousand pieces, but he didn’t show it. He just said he was happy for her like a good friend would.
A year later he got in touch with me. He said Katrin was single again.
He wants to give her some time, but he doesn’t want to wait too long and risk her meeting someone new again. He wants to hear a woman’s opinion on how he can finally seduce Katrin.
Signs that she only sees you as a friend
Before we get to the tips that will help you turn your unrequited love into love returned, let’s first go through the signs that she only sees you as a friend, otherwise, the tips I have for you are pointless.
1. Her body language shows it
Our body language often reveals more about us and our intentions than the words we pronounce. This is because our body language is mostly unconscious and we often don’t even try to control it.
So the next time you meet your loved one, don’t focus so much on what she’s saying but watch her.
Her whole holding, but also her gestures and facial expressions will show you whether she is interested in you or not.
When women are interested in someone, they tend to seek physical closeness. Even if the two of you are not alone – if she is interested in you, she will find a way to be around you.
If she keeps sitting or standing with you, that’s a good sign. If she looks you in the eye, keeps smiling, and plays with her hair, you can be pretty sure that this woman is interested in you after all.
But if she doesn’t do any of this, I’m sorry to tell you that the chances are very slim that she will be interested in you. You are just a friend to this woman.
2. She talks about other men
One of the biggest questions when it comes to different types of relationships is whether women and men can actually be friends. I think they can very well be friends.
I already had several friends and sometimes I would tell them about my relationship problems that I was having with my partner at that moment.
Of course, I would never exaggerate with personal information, such as what problems we have in bed or something like that.
But if I like a man and I would like to do something with him, I would not talk about other men in front of him.
If your friend tells you about their crushes, I have bad news for you – she doesn’t love you.
3. She told you
You are such a great guy. Stay the way you are!
I wish all men were like you. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.
I cannot describe to you what you mean to me. You are the best friend a woman can have.
Yes, every man who has been in a friend zone has probably heard something like that. Compliments upon compliments, but at the end of that damn word – friend.
As if women don’t understand that this man is so wonderful, precisely because he is in love with them. How could he make it clearer so that she can finally see it ?!
Tips on how to change that
If you are sure that you are just a friend to your loved one, you don’t have to give up just yet. Try to follow these tips and you will see how the situation changes.
1. Create new beliefs
Do you think that your beloved is a goddess and you an ordinary mortal? Do you think that she is every man’s dream girl, that she is just perfect?
Do you think she can’t do anything wrong? Or that it’s actually quite natural that she shouldn’t be interested in someone as average as you are?
Then it’s time to change your mind. If you do not believe that you are an attractive man who has a lot to offer a woman, then your loved one cannot believe it either.
Before you take any further step, you need to work on yourself first. Check out this article for tips on how to be more self-satisfied.
Only when you believe that you can be the right one for her can she believe it.
2. Give other women a chance
Other women can also help you on your way to more self-confidence. Pausing your own life and waiting for your loved one to see that you are perfect for her doesn’t get you anywhere, as you can already see.
Creating a little space between you is not a bad idea. You don’t have to be there every time she needs some help or just wants to kill some time with small talk.
I know being there for her sounds like the logical step, but the next time she asks you a favor, ask yourself the question – are you doing this just because she asks you, or you would do it for a buddy?
And yes, if you give other women a chance, there is always the chance that you will meet someone you like even better. Maybe you haven’t met the right one at all.
3. Go big or go home
I’m pretty sure one reason you still haven’t confessed your feelings to her is that you’re scared of being dumped. You prefer to satisfy yourself with crumbs.
You’d rather remain just a friend to her than risk losing her entirely. But if you don’t try, you can’t be sure that she won’t share your feelings.
You forever have the hope that the two of you are just shy and therefore not together. But you’ll never be happy like this.
Sometimes you just have to take risks. I’m sure you know this woman pretty well by now.
You know what a perfect date looks like in her eyes. It’s time you invited her on that date.
I cross my fingers for you.
Second story: An unhappy relationship – she no longer loves me
Everyone thought that Martin and Yvonne are a dream couple and an example of a happy relationship. You thought so too.
At least at the beginning. They have been married for ten years now and Martin can safely say that he still loves his wife.
It’s not the same love as it was in the beginning, but he doesn’t see anything bad in it. They have changed and their love has changed too.
Perhaps he would even say that the love he has for his wife today is much bigger and more important because it is a mature love.
But recently he’s been worried. He knows that they have both changed and that they are no longer the same people they fell in love with all this time ago.
Somewhere in this change, they lost each other too. He just has a bad gut feeling that tells him something is not going well in his marriage.
He doesn’t think his wife would cheat, but neither is he 100% sure that she still loves him.
Lately, he’s been analyzing every part of their everyday life and every word they say to each other. He is already thinking about whether he will have to fight for his marriage and how to do it.
Signs that she no longer loves you
If you are also afraid that your wife no longer loves you, here are some signs that you can use to tell whether she loves you or not.
1. The distance is getting bigger and bigger
When you’ve been together for a long time, you go through different phases. A lot changes from the first feeling of being in love to true love.
Our needs for affection and closeness also change over time. You go through phases when your love life may not be that sensational, or when it’s not a priority at all.
Fireworks are not expected every time, especially after many years. But when you notice that there is hardly any physical closeness between us and your partner, you have to ask yourself a few questions.
Through physical closeness, we also come to emotional closeness. The reverse is also true – because we feel a deep connection, we want to show it through physical contact.
But if there is no physical closeness, it can be a sign of emotional distance. When was the last time you kissed or cuddled your partner?
2. No time together
It is possible to live together and hardly see each other. Ask any couple trying to balance their professional and personal lives how much time they actually have for togetherness.
The answer is likely to be very little. If you don’t live together, you feel a certain longing for each other and you arrange different meetings.
But when it comes to living together, you have the feeling that this need for time together has been satisfied.
You no longer look for special reasons to go on a date because you believe that you will always be together.
But actually, it often happens that you spend a lot less time together now.
You try to do all the chores, you try to be there for the kids and sometimes you forget that you are also the husband or wife in this life.
3. Everyone leads their own life
A very important part of any relationship is shared goals, shared plans, and shared decisions.
Of course, you can make plans on your own, but all the big and important things in life should be discussed together.
If you feel like you’ve only been making small talk with your wife lately and not talking to her about deep topics, that’s a bad sign.
You may be telling yourself that you have achieved all of your goals and that is why you are no longer telling each other about your dreams all night as you used to, but is it really so?
If you feel like you and your wife are living separate lives, that’s bad news for your marriage.
Tips on how to save your relationship?
Even if you recognize yourself and your wife in all these signs, it does not mean that all is lost. Where there is a will, there is a way.
If you still love your wife and are ready to fight for your love, here are some things you can do.
1. Everything starts with a conversation
Honesty and openness are the basis for every successful and happy relationship. The secret to solving all possible relationship problems is nothing more than good communication.
First, take some time for yourself and think about everything you want to say to your wife. If it helps, you can also write it down so that you don’t forget it at the crucial moment.
Then tell her you to want to talk to her. Tell her everything about your feelings and your fears.
In fact, allow yourself to be vulnerable. Only if you are completely honest with her to do you two have a chance to do everything better.
2. It cannot be just words
After you’ve told your loved one what’s on your mind, it’s time to put your words into action. Remember the beginning of your relationship when you were newly in love
I’m sure at that time, you did everything possible and impossible just to get a smile from your wife today. Now it’s time to do the same.
Always remember that you’ve conquered this woman before, so it can’t be that difficult to conquer her again. Maybe it’s a good idea to do something exactly like it was back then, like reconstructing your first date.
But it’s probably also worth trying something new.
Maybe you will feel silly looking for new flirting tips and moves or texting your longtime wife seductive WhatsApp messages, but ask yourself this question: do you think she’s worth it?
If the answer is yes then what are you waiting for?
3. Involve a third person
It is possible that you will do everything in your power and that there may even be a change, but that it is not yet big enough.
Maybe your wife is trying too, but both of you are just not happy with the result.
That doesn’t have to mean it’s time to draw a line. You can try to open up your relationship to a third person.
And not for just any person, but for a consultant. Professional help such as marriage counseling should definitely not be avoided.
You have the opportunity to have a few initial interviews to decide which counselor you like the most. You both have to feel comfortable with him, this is the only way a consultation can lead to positive results.
Good luck.
She doesn’t love me doesn’t have to mean an end. Especially when there was no beginning or you two have a long history together.
If you believe that your beloved is really your dream woman, then you have to fight for her and for her love too. You just need some confidence, a lot of honesty, a lot of courage, and an open heart.
