Girls in our time are allowed much more – praise to feminists, body-positives and other purposeful women. In addition to liberation from corsets and granting freedom of choice of work, education and partners, the society decided to give the ladies another privilege – carte blanche for the initiative.
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The attitude of society to the image of a woman hunter is very ambiguous. Women themselves cannot get used to such a model of behavior, since it is very different from what they were taught by their beloved grandmother, mother and melodramas. Men also set certain boundaries: most welcome the first step, the expression of sympathy and other goodies, but they are rather negative about the proposal of the hand and heart. As for who should be the first to confess their love, opinions were divided 50/50.
Today we will not dig so deep and consider exactly the initial stage of the relationship – acquaintance and date. Do I need to take the first step and how to pull it off elegantly?
If you really like a man and everyone around you says that your feelings are mutual, the game is worth the candle. While your lover waits for the moment and worries about your reaction, organize the proverbial “perfect moment” yourself. If you constantly revolve in a circle of friends and do not have the opportunity to be alone, invite him to a rendezvous. You don’t have to call it a date right away. Just a meeting of two friends alone. And there already how it goes.
Do you discuss the topic of friendship MF, friendzones and others like them? If you have previously expressed that you are not ready to lose friendship because of an affair, he could remember this and forever give up trying to take the relationship to the next level. Talk about it, watch his reaction. And at the end, throw a hint and say that strong feelings are always worth the risk.
The problem is that more than anything, men are afraid of rejection. Especially from a dear lady. Therefore, they are ready to trample their feelings if the fear of being rejected triumphs.
What do we end up with? Numerous stories (told, written, sung and filmed) about how, after many years, two emaciated hearts opened up to each other and realized that time was irrevocably gone.
It’s better that nothing will grow together now, and you will safely forget it, than you will draw a fictitious ideal image in your head that will loom before your eyes all your life and interfere with building relationships with other men.
What are you afraid of?
Do not be afraid that he will make fun of you or react inadequately. Normal men appreciate women’s courage (in moderation) and treat such girls with respect. And if you are the first initiative Amazon in his life, then he will completely lose the power of speech and will remember you for a long time.
If he turns out to be an asshole and a pick-up artist, then see above – the sooner you find out about this and forget him, the better.
Are you afraid of spoiling relationships in a team or circle of friends? In this case, answer yourself the question, is this man worth such sacrifices? Are your feelings strong and the unknown brings suffering? Then spit on prejudice and take a chance. We miss a lot of good opportunities in life because of far-fetched fears, 90% of which are not realized.
If a tete-a-tete date is too extreme for you, invite him to a party with friends or find yourself in his circle. Corporate event, birthday of a mutual friend, etc. is an ideal way to communicate in a relaxed atmosphere, but at the same time not betray your intentions. Great option for shy people.
Find out what he is interested in and offer him the appropriate leisure. Invite him to the cinema for an interesting film, to a bar, and so on.
An important point: if a guy has many female friends and he is used to friendship with girls, he may consider your pastime not a date, but friendly gatherings. Plus or minus – decide for yourself.
Important point # 2: if you invite a guy to watch his favorite trilogy, then watch the first two parts in advance. It is unlikely that he will be delighted with your constant questions during epic moments.
If, while reading the article, you once again became convinced that active conquest is not your element, we are called to help you. How to let him know that you like him, and you don’t mind him taking the first step:
- Smile more often and learn not to look at guys like a wolf. Most men call cheerful and cheerful girls insanely sexy and attractive. Better face, friend! Your Instagram selfie “beach face” looks sexy and beautiful in the photo, but in life it is repulsive. Even a self-confident man is more likely to approach a cheerful cutie than an arrogant beauty.
- Flirt, joke with him, feel relaxed. Mutual tension and discomfort will not do you any good. And warm friendly relations can always be taken to a new level.
- Give a compliment to his appearance, sense of humor. This way you show your affection and sympathy, but at the same time do it playfully and you can fly away, leaving him to digest your cue.
- Write to him on any issue, noting that his opinion and experience are important to you. Then take matters into your own hands and develop the conversation.
What not to do:
- Stalker him on social media
- constantly revolving around him
- Bet on seduction. It is very easy to overdo it and sexuality will turn into vulgarity, and elegant makeup into the coloring of a port whore.
- Bombard him with messages. Obsession is not respected.
- Worry. Enjoy life, get high from yourself and then you will definitely meet someone who will get high from you.
CAN A GIRL TAKE THE FIRST STEP IN A RELATIONSHIP?