Should a guy pay on the first date? The question of whether a man should pay the bill in a cafe or restaurant, especially if you still don’t know much and don’t know how your relationship will develop, can seem complicated and even delicate. If you approach it from the point of view of psychology, the answer becomes obvious.
Who pays for what on the first date?
In the West, this issue has long ceased to be relevant, And a separate account, even during a romantic date, is a completely normal practice. On the other hand, you will be able to protect yourself from this.
Someone thinks that if a man and a woman are not yet in a relationship, everyone should pay their zotz. Others are sure that this humiliates both a woman and a man, so it would be right to give this prerogative to the strong half of humanity. Still, others adhere to the position: who invites, he pays the bill.
From a psychological point of view, there are several advantages to the fact that a girl offers to pay her part of the bill:
- she leaves her husband the right to choose – he can politely reject her proposal, or he can agree to it, especially if he has financial difficulties or does not intend to continue communication;
- the choice of a man gives her an idea of \u200b\u200bhow he feels about money and how generous – based on this, she can decide for herself whether she is ready to start dating him;
- she shows her independence and makes it clear that she is quite capable of providing for herself, which means that in a relationship with a man, the main thing for her is not what kind of bank account he has, but what he is like as a person.
There are also disadvantages. A man might think that you can not invest in such a girl, which means she is very comfortable. On the other side, it’s up to you to decide whether to communicate with such a man or not.
He may pay the bill out of courtesy, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s stingy, struggles to get every penny out of his heart, doesn’t feel the need to share or be generous with anyone.
Again, it’s better to find out about this on the first date, and not a year later, when he realizes that he won you over and you can end the candy-bouquet period and start demanding checks from the grocery store from you.
Who should pay on a date?
Of course, in many respects, it is necessary to proceed from the personal position of the man himself. Someone considers a separate bill on a first date a normal practice, others may be offended by the girl’s offer to pay for a cup of coffee herself.
But most men, feeling sympathy for a woman, are happy to pay a common bill, and if she, out of politeness, offers to share it, they perceive it quite normally, although they still insist on their agreement.
To understand how a man will react to a particular proposal, try to look at him as a psychologist. Communicating with him, try to figure out what his attitude to Money is, his view of gender roles, his worldview, education, and manners.
Account as a confession of sympathy
Subconsciously, many people evaluate the desire to split the bill as a sign that there will be no further communication.
For example, a man realized that he would not have a relationship with this girl. And if he offers her to pay her part on her own, this will let her understand that there can be nothing between them, except perhaps friendship, and that is unlikely.
So many women, at the end of the date, having concluded that they don’t like a man, offer to pay for the marriage. Moreover, this proposal, unlike simple politeness, will be persistent.
A woman, in this case, relieves herself of any obligations to this man.
Thus, she gives herself the opportunity, with a clear conscience, to no longer answer his calls and not feel guilty that he “spent” on her, and she “threw” him. From a psychological point of view, this is fair and useful both for a man and woman.
The reverse situation also speaks volumes. If a woman with a smile, unobtrusively offered to split the bill, and the man flatly refused, on the one hand, he will feel respect for her, understand that she is self-sufficient and does not take the position “everyone owes me.”
On the other hand, by insisting on his desire to pay the bill, he conveys his intention to continue communication, showing that he wants to look after her, treat her, and invite her on dates. This means that it is important for him to make a good impression on her.
First date rules
Of course, when you first met, it is impossible to predict how a man will react to bill payment issues. To avoid misunderstandings or any claims about each other, the easiest way is to follow the simple rules for the first meeting:
- It is not allowed to do so in the future. It is not necessary to have it in the mouth, and it is possible to have three words, but it is possible to visit it.
- you should not make an expensive order in a cafe, even if you are ready to pay for it yourself in case of something – upbringing may not allow a man to agree to a separate account, although he does not plan to continue communicating with you, and you will feel guilty;
- Always take a sufficient amount of money with you in case the man does not turn out to be a “Gentleman” and does not want to pay your part of the order;
- you should not agree to pay the bill for a man, you need to respect yourself and protect yourself because among men there are no fewer lovers of eating at someone else’s expense than among women.
The easiest and surest way to avoid misunderstandings is to agree in advance who pays for what. For some reason, the Topic of Money Seems Taboo, social and parental attitudes seem to forbid people to calmly talking about important things.
But if you are confident in yourself, if you want to understand the position of another person, even before the first visit to a restaurant, it would be nice to express your attitude towards paying the bill, to ask him about his idea of how the first date should be.
In any case, you need to have your own opinion on this matter. You can stick to the position of an independent and self-sufficient woman, you can, on the contrary, give this privilege to a man, of course, if he is ready to take it.
To the whole there are some and in the case of the joint building, which means that you have sostoit in the other countries. You need to overcome your irrational fears and calmly discuss with a man how they will distribute doshas for the sake of way.
The ability to talk to each other is one of the important life skills needed to achieve an emotional Aries. This will help to become native people who do not adjust, being afraid to spoil the impression about themselves.
In a relationship, it is not necessary to raise the question of who “owes” whom. A man either wants to pay your restaurant bill or he doesn’t. And then his choice, which speaks of feelings and possible prospects for further communication.