A couples coach or therapist may be just the kind of guidance you need to improve your relationship. Knowing the 10 most common reasons to look for a couple of coach, you will be able to discover if your case is one of the many in which this alternative is part of the solution
The cases that you will learn about, below, are those in which relationship specialists have extensive experience.
So don’t hesitate to look for a couples coach or therapist if you find one or more reasons in the following list that you want to work as a couple.
1.- EMOTIONAL ISOLATION
Do you feel that the relationship has cooled, that your partner no longer expresses the same interest, the displays of affection have diminished as well as the quality time together and the feeling of affection seems to fade? Even, do you feel that your partner is no longer your partner?
Feeling the partner far away, even having them next to you, and perceiving a cold or indifferent attitude, is something that happens to almost all relationships. But, when this feeling is very marked and recurrent, without being used to learn and grow the relationship, it has a very strong emotional impact.
This isolation is the result of some of the other more common reasons to seek a partner coach that you may discover later. However, sometimes they can also occur for other, not-so-common reasons.
The professional in coaching and couples therapy specializes in putting both parties on the same page, creating a frank and direct dialogue with which they can move forward together in solving that situation in the best possible way.
2.- CONSTANT DISCUSSIONS
Any reason or motive seems to be enough to set off a big, furious fight. The slightest stimulus can irritate them, creating great friction between them.
You will likely begin to avoid coming home or avoiding seeing the couple, predicting the next fight. Think how useless it is to argue about the same topic when it seems that no agreement is reached or things get worse.
As we have mentioned on other occasions, a good relationship promotes the personal growth of each party.
Constant arguments stagnate the relationship. Fighting with your partner constantly creates mental fatigue and promotes a hostile environment in which neither of you will feel good.
With the right strategies to help you break that cycle of anger and arguing, communicate clearly, and manage your emotions appropriately, you can put the arguments behind you and see the relationship flourish.
3.- DEALING WITH FAMILY PROBLEMS
On many occasions, external pressures cause discomfort in the couple. One of the most common problems is the pressure of parental expectations or orders on the relationship.
Feeling that there is an external source that can dictate the direction of the relationship, the couple loses the sense of control over it and they stop feeling it as their own.
Taking charge again and making the relationship between both of you includes learning to set healthy boundaries and changing the ideas and beliefs that allow outside sources to take that control.
Another family situation that causes conflict in the couple is how parenting is handled.
Being a couple and parenting is something that, at times, can be difficult to hold hands together.
Disagreements in parenting style create a sense of “taking sides” that can affect you as a couple.
If you send your little one to his room early because he threw a big tantrum after not getting a cookie, but your partner goes to his room to give him a whole box of cookies to cheer him up, he will feel like they are not working as a team.
If there is something that living as parents and living as a couple has in common, it is knowing how to be a team.
4.- LOOKING FOR A PARTNER COACH TO FACE INFIDELITY
This is probably one of the strongest reasons for seeking the help of a couples coach or therapist. An infidelity is an event that creates great significant changes in the couple, many related to the rest of the reasons found in this article.
After the infidelity happens, an emotional distance is generated, which causes the desire to stop the intimacy between the two.
Continuing with the relationship after the infidelity is something very personal. Each person has a very specific or very broad concept of what it means to be unfaithful, from looking outside for something that is supposed to only be sought in the relationship, flirting, or having s@x with another person.
Couples coaches and therapists help discern which important aspects of the relationship have been damaged; this, to seek, together with the partner, a way to heal, learn and grow.
5.- WHEN THE SEPARATION IS CHOSEN
When one of the two parties has decided that they no longer want to continue the relationship, it is common for the other party to find a way to work on what has led them to that point and solve it. In these cases, it is hoped that there is still the possibility of solving the conflicts and continuing to strengthen the love bond.
Similarly, when one of the spouses decides to divorce in a marriage, counseling is useful because it helps to clarify which problems each considers important, the resources available to face them, and the commitment to solve them.
Now, if both parties seek help in the hope that the relationship can continue, the prognosis is pretty good.
6.- FIND A COUPLE COACH AFTER A RECONCILIATION
If a couple has decided to reconcile, it is generally thought that everything has already been solved and they will not have difficulties ahead; However, after a reconciliation, the couple needs to adapt to create and care for the changes that have allowed the relationship to rebuild.
It may sound like an easy thing, but avoiding reverting to old habits that damaged the relationship is very difficult, especially if they have been a habit for a long time.
Adjusting and building a stronger relationship, avoiding past mistakes, and leaving hard feelings behind is a process. With proper guidance, these changes are incorporated naturally, allowing the couple to fully enjoy their current relationship.
7.- SIGNIFICANT CHANGES IN THE RELATIONSHIP
Deciding to live together, maintain a distant relationship due to some external situation, get married, have children, etc.
Many situations represent significant changes in the couple. Sometimes these changes can create an imbalance between them: worries, expectations, or anxiety.
For example, due to a work situation, one of the two must move to a distant city for a long period.
This event will cause certain concerns because they do not know how they will adapt to the change. Many questions will go through the minds of both: “How will we get used to not seeing each other in person for so long? How can we take care of our privacy? What does it mean for me not to be able to have my partner physically by my side in difficult times? ? What if my partner stops missing me? ”
A couples coach or therapist can help them delve into these concerns, preparing them to face the change they face.
8.- LOOKING FOR A COUPLE COACH TO IMPROVE INTIMACY
S@x plays an important role in a couple; especially since both of you are comfortable in what you enjoy and how you enjoy it.
When there are conflicts in this area, they affect other aspects of the relationship. For example, if a person does not feel wanted, cannot keep up with their partner, certain tastes and preferences are not compatible or there are complications such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, etc., they will surely feel frustrated.
In these situations, the coach or couples therapist analyzes how these difficulties develop to find the possible causes and create a strategy that allows them to work on improving intimacy in such a way that both of them enjoy and feel comfortable; in the same way, it will work in conjunction with a medical professional, if necessary.
When you get to fully enjoy intimacy, a sense of connection and a strong union is established that improves interaction with the partner.
9.- PROBLEMS HANDLING EXTERNAL CONFLICTS
If any of you have lost your job, are going through difficult times due to a medical condition, are in a grieving process, etc.
These situations are difficult to handle and the pressure of these external problems on the relationship slowly influences it.
A couples coach or therapist is a great support tool to help you take care of the relationship while overcoming these difficulties.
10.- FIND A PARTNER COACH AS AN INTERMEDIARY
When there is a conflict in your relationship, you most likely think about talking about it with your friends. Their support and comfort is invaluable, they will surely make you see things from another point of view
Although sharing with those people you appreciate has great personal benefit and utility, you should not forget that, at times, it is a bit difficult for them to give you an objective opinion, due to the closeness and emotions they have towards you.
When a couple seeks out a coach or therapist to obtain a different approach that can benefit the relationship, they will have the benefit of having an intermediary who helps them discover, for themselves, that different point of view; all this, objectively, with adequate training and experience to guide them precisely.
WHY LOOK FOR A COUPLES COACH OR THERAPIST?
These 10 most common reasons to seek a relationship coach present cases that anyone can face in a relationship throughout their life.
Being situations considered “common”, many people think that it is not necessary to seek the guidance of a professional. However, it is only with the advice of a trained person that you and your partner will be able to face and overcome such situations.
Take advantage of the difficulties and you will see how your relationship grows and strengthens!