The acquaintance of a guy with the girl’s parents is delayed – what to do? A guy’s acquaintance with your parents is perceived as a step towards a more serious relationship. No byywet, it is in the windy season, and one where it is possible to live in small numbers. Is it safe to say that the children are there and that they are still there?
Boy avoids meeting his parents
Let’s start with one example.
After school, the girl moved to another city. She graduated from the university, found a job, met a guy (also from other cities), started living with him, renting an apartment together. Periodic kazhdya to the other side of the rodents, no small number of people.
One day the girl realized that she was pregnant. It seems to be Precisely the time has come to get acquainted with the parents, but the young man kept refusing, Each time coming up with new reasons. At the same time, he continued to live with the girl and was glad that the unborn child.
What are the reasons for this behaviour?
In the example discussed above, the reason turned out to be that the young man was embarrassed to show his loved ones to his beloved, and because of this he was afraid of meeting her parents. He knew that if he met them, he would have to introduce the girl and his relatives.
His father was an alcoholic, his mother gave up from constant stress, stopped going to work. Once a good apartment turned into an unpleasant, dirty housing with peeling walls, a lot of garbage. The guy managed to get out of this chaos, get an education and a job.
But the girl, no matter how much he loved her, did not want to show his past. I was afraid that she would leave. And he decided for himself that since he doesn’t introduce her to his parents, it’s better for her not to introduce her own.
This is a special case, which shows that the reasons can be buried deep and not be related to you and the guy’s attitude towards you.
Other possible reasons include:
- The young man is sure that the girl’s parents will not accept him. They are rich people, scientists, representatives of a dynasty of actors, intellectuals. And he is the son of an accountant and a locksmith. It is 30, and 45 is 25, and this is where it is supposed to be.
- A man perceives an acquaintance as a step towards a wedding. However, he does not feel that he is ready for marriage, he is not sure that he is the person you need. He doubts that he himself is ready for a long relationship with you.
What to do if a man does not introduce you to his parents?
- He has heard a lot of Jokes and Horrors About the Wife’s Parents and now he is afraid that he will have to endure humiliation, insult, bullying.
- Partially to the script, and the name of the project may be private to the processing of these facts. Perhaps the guy has an official family, he doesn’t live in it, but for some reason he can’t get divorced.
- From the point of view of a young man, you are too hasty and run ahead of the locomotive. He needs time to think things through. Acquaintance with your relatives is not included in his plans yet.
- Your parents behave in such a way that the man becomes embarrassed, and he avoids meeting them in every possible way.
A small sketch – you are the only child of your parents, they have loved you all your life, cared for and want your life partner to be just as caring, faithful and loving.
However, listening to Your stories About him, They came to the conclusion that they do not want to know him and begin to purposefully exclude the possibility of getting to know him. No, it’s just that the hotel is in the dock, and the picture is small without a name.
Bye and it is one of those. It is rarely voiced, but it cannot be denied. Sometimes a girl herself does not want to introduce a guy to her parents. In public, he plays that he strives for this, but in reality he does everything to avoid this. This is manipulation, a game with the feelings of loved ones.
How to push a man to meet?
So, there can be many reasons why a guy avoids meeting your relatives. Most can be dealt with, but there are also factors that are objectively not worth wasting time and nerves on.
When is it best to take your time?
It is better for a girl not to push a guy to get to know her parents if there is no confidence in her and his feelings.
Suppose you really want to get married, you like the way a young man looks, what kind of job he has. However, internally, somewhere in the depths of yourself, you know that this is not the person you need.
Don’t stop on the wind and with the manual handling of the parameter. It is unlikely that you will be happy if you force him to meet your parents, marry you. Manipulation, lack of freedom and respect will quickly destroy a marriage.
If the relationship is good
If the relationship is stable and there are no unpleasant surprises in secret pockets, the young man can be quietly pushed to get to know your parents.
- Interest a man in the interests of his relatives.
Maybe your father and boyfriend are avid fishermen. Or dad is a former boxing champion. Or maybe he worked in the mines and one day found a bar of gold, or he has an original Metallica record.
You never know what will hook a person. People who have been open all their lives to new acquaintances, adventures, and knowledge conquer even those who are open-minded.
- Tell me how much your family wants to meet him, especially if it’s true.
There are families for whom accepting your friends is real happiness. They are ready to give them love, tenderness, care.
Do you know how the story of the girl and the guy ended, told at the beginning? They talked and nevertheless decided to go to her parents. We stopped at a hotel and first went to the girl’s grandmother.
And she was So Warm, She cooked so well, she was so open and strong that the couple moved out of the hotel and stayed with her. And only then, thanks to the grandmother, an acquaintance with the girl’s parents took place.
- Prepare for the par called by the telephone and video.
Being at home or on a walk, tell what you are doing, and, as it were, by the way, show the young man, ask him to say hello to your parents.
- Use provocation.
Tell the guy that he has nothing to do with your parents. Take it off, it will be boring, uninteresting, yes and there is no point in getting to know each other until you are 200% sure about your relationship
Play on His feelings – say that it will be weak for Him to see Her relatives, After all, He, like all men, is afraid of the Beloved’s relatives, like fire.
No position is provided for this purpose, it is possible for a period of time and for many years.
- When talking to a young man, note that getting to know your parents does not mean that he will definitely dolten us.
Acquaintance is simply a tribute to courtesy, an attempt to satisfy the curiosity and concern of relatives.
Explain that it is important for them to see in the face of the person who won your heart. In this they may be a little old-fashioned. No at the same time modern enough to understand that at this stage you are just her boyfriend. How the relationship will develop remains to be seen.
- Invite a man to your parents’ birthday, grandmother’s anniversary or any other event. Explain that this is their invitation and he will show them respect by accepting it.
If you can’t convince a guy to meet your parents, don’t worry about it. The time will come, and if it is desired on that day.