The husband communicates with the child from his ex-wife, and I am jealous of him – is this normal? It’s not like that, it’s little, it’s in the cinema, it’s funny, some of it’s in there, it’s in there. This affection is an indicator that a man knows how to love, is able to experience real fatherly feelings. Surely you would like to meet and fall in love with such a man, become his wife.
But Your dream has come true – Tyshla Married to a man who loves his children from his first marriage is not going to break off relations with them. The period of admiration quickly came to an end, and you often start to catch yourself thinking: “when a husband communicates with a child from his first wife, I am jealous of him.” Is it normal for this and how long is it in the location?
Jealousy for husband’s child
First of all, let’s be clear, jealousy is a feeling that accompanies many relationships. It causes discord; it provokes divorces, betrayals, scandals. Often it is provoked on purpose and used to attract attention.
As a rule, jealousy is based on envy, the desire to possess another person, the desire to make him your own in order to feel love more fully (at least temporarily) to protect your mercantile interests, to get benefits. Drugs that are slaves, that are proving themselves. Jealousy is often associated with negativity, suspicion, dirt.
Therefore, the experience of this feeling in relation to children seems to be something unpleasant, contrary to the human. Nevertheless, there is no escape from jealousy, and many women are jealous of their husband for the child of his ex-wife. Is it normal for this?
If you sincerely love your husband, wish him well, do not seek to make him your property, then jealousy for his child can simply touch your heart, prick him and disappear. There is nothing terrible and unnatural in this. Using wisdom, you will be able to maintain peaceful relationships and love, regardless of the former mother.
It’s more difficult if you can’t cope with jealousy, you listen to dark feelings, forget about kindness, love, mutual understanding and mutual assistance, you begin to hate your husband’s children from your ex-wife, and at the same time him. This attitude will very soon lead to conflicts and, possibly, divorce. Of course, there is nothing normal in being so jealous of a husband, and something needs to be done about it.
Reasons for jealousy of a husband’s child
The main reason why you are jealous of your spouse for the children from your ex-wife is connected with selfishness, an attempt to protect yourself, your family and your child.
Depending on the location of the situation:
- The husband spends a lot of time with the children from his first marriage.
Maybe it’s only 1-2 hours on Saturday, but it seems too much for you. After all, it was at this time that you wanted to plan a trip to the store, to your mother, to the camp site. Even if such a coincidence happens rarely, discomfort, displeasure and anger from the inability to achieve what you want are stored in your memory.
One day, when once again your loved one refuses to go to the beach or ski, you explode, believing that you are no longer loved, and all the feelings, resources of your spouse go to other people’s children for you.
- Husband spends too much money on ex-wife’s child.
Pays for courses, tutors, buys clothes, gives money for school trips, sports trips. It is unlikely that you thought about how much he spends and how much everything costs. You only hear that you need to pay, and concentrate on the costs. Due to the fact that they do not go to you, you do not feel any benefit for yourself.
Moreover, when you yourself need money, you hear from your husband that they are few or not. Because of these two reasons, there is a subjective feeling that all the money goes only to the child from being born.
I am jealous of my husband for children from his first marriage. What is wrong with me?
- The husband admires his children a little more actively than necessary.
He talks about their successes, plans, i.e., as you think, participates in their life without you, spends energy, strength, love on other people, depriving you of attention.
- Receives calls from children at any time, even when talking to you.
If you ask this, it is not necessary. There is a feeling that you are not as important to him as they are.
- Communicating with children, the husband meets with his ex-wife.
You can perceive this as a risk to your relationship – suddenly he realizes that he still loves her and decides to return.
- When you see a spouse with someone else’s child, you may think that you are a thief.
This feeling needs to be killed as soon as possible, and the best way is anger at someone weaker, clothed in jealousy.
- A spouse cannot spend much time with your common children – either he is busy, then there is no money.
This only exacerbates the situation when he can carve out time for a child from an ex-wife. He seems to love your kids less.
- You do not have deep interests, hobbies in which you could realize yourself, become happy.
Against this background, you limit your husband, his feelings, you begin to be jealous.
As you can see, most often, the reasons for jealousy are subjective. You will have to do with those details, and you will have two of them.
How to deal with jealousy?
The surest way to stop being jealous of your husband is to accept his child. Do not win in other countries. He will grow up as a harmonious personality only if he receives the full attention of both parents and their love.
In this way, it is possible to return to the place where you live:
- Try if you do not love the child, then at least accept it.
Together with your husband, walk with him, take him on trips, invite him to visit.
- If you and your spouse have children together, try to get them to play together.
If the age difference is large, let the elders take care of the kids – read fairy tales, draw, sculpt.
- If it is not possible to establish contact with a child from an ex-husband, try to understand the spouse’s obligations to him and the current situation.
Children need to be given love, attention, care. Without this, they turn into anxious losers, gamers with a heap of complexes and fears. You can leave the child to the mother, but imagine yourself in her place – she needs to work, earn money, constantly take care of the children and somehow maintain her health. If you are simply, you will not be able to. And no matter how negatively you treat her, she is also a person and needs help.
- Discuss with your husband how much time he will spend on the child.
May this commitment be constantly fulfilled. At the same time, be an adult, do not switch to do not force him to endure meetings with the child or shorten them with your actions. Accept the importance of the fact that your husband communicates with your children and let this become one of the main principles of your life.
- Decide how much of the budget will go to his child.
Plan your expenses. If there are urgent expenses, do not shy away from discussing them. It is important that both STORons agree with them, then the money issue will cease to be a stumbling block.
- Find a hobby, do what you love.
It will fill your life. You will realize yourself, enjoy life, carry other people with you. As a result, you will weaken control over your husband and his relationship with children.
In order for relations between people to be harmonious, all controversial issues need to be discussed and reached in the end. Awareness and acceptance of the situation, even such when you begin to be jealous of your husband for his children…