The lack of male attention in a girl is depressing – what to do? Happiness in a relationship is fragile. Calance requires several components, such as love, wealth, and attention. If something is missing, problems and discontent arise. And if everything is clear with feelings and money, then the manifestation of attention for each person occurs in different ways. Everyone needs adoration and approval, but what to do when your partner is “thick-skinned” and does not understand what else you want from him, if there is food in the refrigerator, and you are warmly and beautifully dressed?
Why Lack of Attention is Bad for Relationships?
Showing attention is an expression of love and care. Something without which normal relations cannot exist. At the initial stage, a person’s own interest is enough, we “fall in love with our love.”
No in the future it is called, so it is not possible. If you do not throw new wood into the fire, it will go out. So it is with feelings: they must be warmed up. The manifestation of attention is a signal: you are not alone, I understand what is happening to you. Some men think that women are dramatists and they never get enough.
Complaining to friends, they say: “I work around the clock so that she has everything. And she whines that she lacks attention. No it is by you that you are here, you are here, you are here. Fair? Quite. And there is such a point of view. But one does not exclude the other. If you wish, you can learn to maintain balance.
What happens in a family where a woman lacks attention, therefore, she constantly feels unloved? Conflicts, petty squabbles and quarrels over trifles. Lack of attention is tantamount to a lack of communication, and this is the basis of any relationship. Some women begin to get on the side what they do not receive from their husband. This behavior can be regarded in different ways, but the fact remains: everyone suffers.
Is that why a man pays little attention to you?
Why doesn’t he pay attention to you?
In most cases, men simply do not realize the extent of the problem. Because while he is busy with everyday primary issues, where to live and what to eat, he has no time to think about how long ago he last complimented his beloved woman. Therefore, you should not immediately blame him for all mortal sins.
- He doesn’t know you’re missing something.
Women often sin with the fact that “she already understood everything and drew conclusions,” but he has no idea about it. Interactions are built on One simple rule: If you do not say that something does not suit you, then by default everything is fine. Perhaps in his family, the mother behaved powerfully and independently, and it does not occur to him that all women are different.
- On no mozhet nayti balances mezhdu rabotoy and domom.
A career takes a lot of energy. Society really puts a lot of pressure on men, depriving them of the opportunity to make a mistake. Also, men don’t multitask. If you don’t want to save anything other than: you need a mother. Perhaps later, if there are fewer things to do, he will notice that you are bored, but not at the moment when he is fighting the nopelites against the yplitar.
- He relaxed and got used to the fact that everything suits you.
Sometimes people become so comfortable that they begin to ignore the needs of others. He achieved you, arranged your “cave”, which means that you should humbly wait for him from work and not make noise over trifles. If at the stage of courtship he behaved differently, do not panic, it is not too late to change everything and dedicate him to the tones of your emotional range.
- On burned out, and he does not have enough resources even for himself.
It is believed that usually the mental state of a man is quite stable. To permanently unsettle him, something out of the ordinary must happen. Do you really think so? So, you, too, have become a victim of stereotypes. Pay attention to changes in his behavior. OCD is not as obvious as it seems.
- He has another.
The most unpleasant reason, but not to mention it would be dishonest. If your man is romanticism, it is important for him to “burn” with a woman. When he does not pay attention to you, does not care for you, perhaps he is thinking about another. In this case, you will have to make a difficult decision: deal with it or pretend that no longer you can do it by hand.
How to start a conversation and what to say?
First of all, think about what kind of attention you want. To do this, you need to define your “language of love”. Gary Chapman in his book “The 5 Love Languages” said that every person has a basic need, what he would like to receive from his partner and from relationships in general:
- approval, encouragement, compliments, sincere conversations;
- time spent together;
- help, mutual assistance;
- touch, hug, sex.
What if you are in the area: how would you like your man to express his feelings? When do you feel safe? By identifying your partner’s “love language”, you may look at your relationship from a different angle and find that he actually pays you quite a lot of attention, but does it in a way that you do not perceive.
Immediately take a friendly, but confident position. Relationships are not a stroll through the Garden of Eden surrounded by pink ponies. It is NORMAL that you have difficulties and disagreements. If you need something, you have the right to ask for it. In the end, who, if not your partner, is interested in you getting what you want. Talking about what does not suit you is another brick in the foundation of your family. The main thing is to follow a few “rules”:
- Do not criticize;
- Don’t raise your voice;
- Don’t give ultimatums.
The hardest thing is getting started. Don’t waste time thinking about the perfect wording. you will begin to anticipate the reaction of your loved one and set yourself up for aggression in advance. Psychologists say that when a person gives the opportunity to manifest his true “I”, on will not meet with an active manifestation. The surest strategy is to start with praise. Thank him for doing a lot for you. Show that you appreciate his efforts and in no way belittle his merits.
Speak in the first person. Report, don’t blame. How wrong:
- You never have time for me!
- You don’t love me at all!
- You don’t care how my day went!
- I want us to spend more time together.
- I miss your attention.
- I ask you to be more involved in my life.
And end on a positive note. The purpose of the conversation is to improve relations, and not to quarrel completely. Choose the right place and time to talk. After a hard day’s work, any dialogue is perceived as a brain drain. Until people can read each other’s minds, the only way to get what they want is to ask for it. Be calm and friendly, and you will succeed!