The man said he loves another woman – psychologist’s advice on what to do? Your plans for the next joint are shattered overnight when your boyfriend informs you. Your heart begins to beat wildly, and thoughts flare chaotically, changing like frames of an accelerated movie.
You are frantically trying to find a way out of this situation, going over in your head the speeches that you will say to him in response to such news. No, except for emotions, screams and tears, nothing comes out.
How to behave immediately after confessing feelings for another?
That is what you should do next to the card: on the home page and on the same day, it is up to you. What can we say about a woman who in reality faced this. It is unlikely that at that moment she was able to control herself and her feelings.
However, it’s still worth taking care of yourself. In general, it is necessary to learn to perceive any unexpected, unpleasant information with composure. Stop by when you are in the area and analyzed. Only after that act and speak.
That is why, at the moment of reporting such news, try to step back mentally, physically and say that you need time for the conversation to be more productive. It is possible to say exactly how much it will take to digest information.
If you still can’t pull yourself together, try to express your thoughts not too emotionally. It’s so cottony that at the peak of stress it is possible to say a lot of nasty words about which $.
Try to talk more not about how bad he is, but about what is happening inside you, what you feel. For a man, these are more understandable things. From tantrums, screams, and accusations, a man will only want to move away, as soon as possible.
Get your thoughts in order
This may take more than one day. Of course, it will be incredibly difficult for you. The fire of jealousy, despair, and complete misunderstanding will burn inside. However, time will still play into your hands. The strongest and raging stream of thoughts will subside slightly, and you will be ready for a more or less calm time.
If you find it difficult to cope with your emotions, it may be worth sharing your experiences with a very close person who knows how to support you. To people whose intentions you are not sure, such things should not be said.
Try introducing meditation techniques into your life. On the other hand, it is necessary to control it as much as possible. To be able to control and affect emotionally. In addition, meditation has a therapeutic effect: it restores the nervous system and improves the work of the whole organism, which is so difficult now.
Try to understand why this happened to you? Perhaps you both did something wrong, went down the wrong path together. Or maybe you just didn’t want to notice some obvious things in your partner. In any case, conduct an internal analysis of your relationship.
At this stage, do not rush to make any decisions. Only after a face-to-face conversation will you be able to start debriefing. Focus on yourself and your thoughts. No in that it is not there.
Key conversation
Sooner or later, a conversation cannot be avoided, even if you decide to end your relationship. And prove it is designed constructively.
- For starters, you should hear his version of what is happening.
Find out why he thinks you are in this situation. This information may be painful for you, but it may open your eyes to some points. Thanks to this, you will be able to work on the mistakes and draw the right conclusions.
- Find out if he is confident in his decision.
It often happens that a man is fascinated by a new chosen one and wants to drastically change his life. No prochodit vremya, and hey vlyublenna pelena spadaet s glaz. And he desperately regrets the wrongness of his act. Ask if he is 100% sure, because there will be no going back.
- Speak out all your feelings.
First of all, you need it, because after what has been said, it will become a little easier. Secondly, he must understand the scale of the pain caused to a close person and try, as it were, ache, seeb.
- Try to stay calm.
The conversation should take place in a calm manner. Don’t worry about it. No shouting, insults, only measured phrases. This is important, because your confidence will play into your hands. Your position will seem to him convincing, unbroken, and strong.
- Find out what role you play in his life.
If he loves that woman, then who are you to him? Let me sincerely answer your questions. However, you should not press, because a man closes and withdraws into himself if he feels assertiveness.
- Remind me of the past.
Invite him to remember that he was also once happy with you. Preposition veosodate in memory project moments. Perhaps this will create doubts in his head.
- Give him time to make a final decision.
Both you and you need a few days to decide what the next step will look like.
take care of yourself
The period for making a decision will be difficult, but it is worth realizing that you need a transformation. After such statements, you need a full reboot. All thoughts and feelings should be directed exclusively to yourself.
Stop chasing in your head how bad he is, stop looking for the guilty. Think about how you can move on. In the event of a breakup, you will have to radically change your life. Plan, think, dream. Imagine the new world only in a positive way.
Fill your life and everyday life with the most pleasant events. Perhaps you have been dreaming about something for a long time. Take it and do it. Let the emotional pain go nowhere, but you need a certain shake-up and emotions. And talk a lot, a lot with people who support you.
If you have children, try to immerse yourself in communication with them. Prepare a joint dinner or arrange an exciting walk in the park. Feel that you are not alone, you have a family without a spouse. The main thing is not to get involved in alcohol. He will not help you, but will only aggravate your condition.
You should not call a man, the most important thing is to show him how autonomous you are. If you broadcast addiction, unfortunately, this will only alienate the chosen one even more. Men are so arranged: if you run after them, they will run away from you even faster. Keeping in terms of calm and serenity in the best of our ability.
final decision
By the time of the decisive conversation, it is worth deciding on your position. If you want to stay together, but he still wants to leave, you should not keep him. It will be better if you proudly accept his decision and leave.
In this case, you should consider the following points:
- You won’t be forced to be nice.
A hackneyed phrase, but it’s true. If his soul reaches out to another, he will strive there. On the other hand, on this building, on the other hand, on the other hand. I don’t think you would like such an alliance. Each of you wants to be truly happy and loved.
- Don’t let the swings.
Very often, a man begins to try to stay on two chairs. He constantly torments both chosen ones with his manipulations. Don’t give in and be persistent. If he leaves, let him go: a decision of this magnitude is made once and for all.
- Don’t show him your pain.
In the future, you will have to play the role of independent and independent a little. Maybe ask him for help. However, to humiliate yourself, to show how you suffer, is not worth it. Not everyone is able to understand the mental anguish of another and sympathize sincerely.
- After suffering, go only forward.
Since it is not necessary to speak, it is necessary to have a lot of other things and to be able to do so. And understand, you really will succeed, but only when you yourself believe in your happiness and begin to move only forward, not looking back at the past.
People, even close ones, are capable of betraying, doing wrong. And there are two options. The first is to sit, feel sorry for yourself, and hold on to the past, and the second is to remain true to yourself no matter what, appreciate life, and move only forward. Which way to go is up to you.
