Problems in the sphere of love arise due to the fact that everyone often understands this feeling in their own way. Answering the question of what is the Psychology of love and Relationships? Psychology does not give a single definition of this phenomenon. Experts talk about many types of manifestations of love.
What is love in terms of psychology?
The Soviet psychologist A.V. Petrovsky defines love as an intense, intense feeling physically conditioned by sexual needs and expressed in the desire to be fully represented by his personally significant traits in the life of another so as to awaken in him a reciprocal desire of the same intensity.
Social psychology about love
Studying the works of other psychologists about love, we come to the conclusion that the term covers a much wider range of feelings and experiences. In the 70s, Canadian sociologist John Alan Lee identified three main types of love that arise between a man and a woman.
1. Pragma is a calm, down-to-earth feeling. This relationship is often referred to as “love of convenience.” Moreover, we are not necessarily talking about self-interest. Pragmatists are more likely to be guided by ordinary worldly wisdom. They tend to treat marriage more like a common business than striving for vivid romantic experiences. Great importance is attached to the fulfillment of the assumed obligations to each other.
2. Mania – love-obsession, love-addiction. Feelings are based on jealousy and passion. We can say that people who are inclined to this kind of love live in anxious expectation of problems in relationships. And if they are absent, they themselves create them. For example, a woman constantly falls in love with married or otherwise unavailable men. Because obstacles to the expression of love create the intensity of emotions necessary for her temperament.
3. Agape – selfless, selfless love, selfless devotion to a loved one. In the first place – concern for the well-being of the partner, even to the detriment of their own interests and needs. A person inclined to this type of love can be happy if his partner knows how to appreciate his sacrificial nature and does not turn into a complete egoist.
True love, from the point of view of psychology, includes all three of the above manifestations of feelings. Since each of the aspects is important for building and developing relationships. True love always finds its expression in physical passion. Moreover, the attraction reaches such strength that a loved one becomes the only possible source of full sexual satisfaction.
True love also manifests itself in an active interest in the happiness and development of the one we love. People in love often treat a partner as a child whom they want to please, pamper and protect from adversity and sorrow. Moreover, the desire to give is not accompanied by regrets about the time, energy, and money spent. A loving person does not need compensation in the form of reciprocal care, since the very state of being in love gives him the necessary energy recharge.
Despite this fact, there is a widespread misconception in society that to love is to lose, it means to always receive less than you give in a relationship. What is more profitable to be loved than to love yourself. However, according to the psychology of love, for a truly in love person, giving in a relationship is as pleasant as taking. If you are experiencing something different, you may be nothing more than passionate about it.
Finally, love always engenders a sense of responsibility. Responsibility for the fate of the person with whom we associate our lives, responsibility for maintaining good and sincere feelings for each other. Love is impossible without respect for the feelings of a loved one, his dignity. When making decisions affecting the interests of the beloved, his opinion is necessarily taken into account and is decisive.
Analytical psychology about love and relationships
- Love according to the principle of being is a fruitful feeling that implies interest, care, pleasure. It can be directed both at a person and at an inanimate object – a flower, a work of art, an idea. Such love spiritually enriches, fills with energy, enhances the feeling of the fullness of life. Generates a desire for activities that involve caring for the object of love.
- Ownership love is a destructive feeling. It manifests itself in destructive passion, which does not enrich the life of the object of sympathy, but suppresses, strangles it.
The psychoanalyst argued that psychologically immature individuals, neurotics, are characterized by the same immature, neurotic love based on the principle of possession. The first step to take on the path to building a happy personal life is to realize that love is not just a feeling, a vivid emotion. It is the same art as the ability to play a musical instrument, build buildings, perform surgical operations. And to be successful on the love front, the art of creating and maintaining relationships needs to be trained as hard as any other endeavor.
To build a happy relationship, a person needs to reach a new level of consciousness. Analyze your feelings and experiences in relation to the object of passion, identify proprietary motives hidden deep in the subconscious.
The psychology of love – everyone should know this
In our culture, there are many myths generated by people who have failed on the love front. These are the very immature personalities that Erich Fromm spoke about. The wrong conclusions that they have drawn from their life experiences prevent them from finding happiness in a love relationship. Let’s debunk the main ones.
1. “Romantic feelings are required only to justify the need for procreation, sexual desire.” With this position, a person defends his wounded ego. Love failure befell him not because his personality was not attractive enough. Better to pretend that love just doesn’t exist. That this is nothing more than a sexual instinct.
2. “There is no way without love.” In fact, the role of husband or wife can be skillfully performed even without falling in love with a partner. This is a social role. Emotional love is the level of interpersonal relationships.
3. “Love is completely dependent on the loved one.” In fact, the state of love lives within you. And the other person just turns it on. We fall in love not with the person himself, but with one of the facets of his personality, which coincided with our psychological projection.
For example, a woman is striving for intellectual development, broadening her horizons. This desire can be realized in falling in love with a university professor, a person from a higher cultural class, a foreigner. Other personal qualities of a man will not be so important to her. And if a loved one ceases to satisfy her craving for new knowledge, then the feeling of a strong attraction to him will disappear.
4. “Any love is doomed to perish.” Such a myth is born of those who do not take into account the evolution of feelings. The problem is that people often mistake for love that which is not love – the initial surge of feelings, the so-called love-mania, built on endorphin highs.
The object of affection is as much a drug as a syringe. In the presence of the chosen one, the endorphin group begins to stand out sharply, you experience a rise in strength. In his absence, you experience withdrawal, strive to see the object of your passion as quickly as possible. This condition can last from six months to four years. That is, it is not loved that is doomed to die, but an only passion. The initial love must pass into a new quality.
5. “Love can only be for one person. And if something did not work out in the relationship, then all hopes for personal happiness can be buried. ” True love can be one for life, but this does not mean that a relationship full of tenderness and passion can be built with only one specific partner. The so-called second half simply does not exist. Rather, during life, you can find many of these “halves” – suitable partners in temperament and mindset. A healthy, spiritually developed person, not neurotic, is able to establish good relations with almost anyone.
What is love: the psychology of relationships
If there were no relationships in your life, no other people, you would not be able to focus on your inner world. In other words, without relationships, it is impossible to feel your personality, individuality.
Psychologists never tire of reminding: in each of your new relationships, you first of all rebuild relationships with the same person – yourself. Your partner is just an indicator of the evolution of your personality. If you are happy, love yourself and love life, then relationships with others will only intensify these feelings. However, there is no person in the world who could compensate for your lack of inner harmony.
Your joy should not depend on other people and their attitude towards you. Only the ability to rely on one’s own resources helps to maintain a state of inner happiness and warm feelings for a loved one for many years. Striving for symbiotic unity in relationships only helps to overcome feelings of loneliness and self-inferiority for only a short time.
As soon as a close connection with a loved one is threatened for some reason, the dependent partner will develop a state of intense fear and horror. That is why love is mistakenly called the source of suffering. The desire for symbiotic unity manifests itself in a tendency to tolerate any relationship, no matter how bad it may be.
Psychology: how to understand whether you love or not?
At the beginning of a relationship, when passion boils, it is difficult to understand how deep our feelings for a partner are. As a rule, you can only understand that everything was nothing more than falling in love when difficulties begin.
To make sure that your feelings are real, you need to imagine yourself with your loved one in a difficult situation and analyze the emotions that arise. Love psychology claims that if you are not ready to stay with a person, if he has a serious illness, then you don’t love him.
Often we realize the true value of things only when we irrevocably lose them. Another effective technique is to imagine that your chosen one died or you have never met. How uncomfortable are these thoughts for you? Can you imagine your life without a lover?
Psychology of love and relationships – how to understand that you are loved?
Feelings are not always expressed in words. A man may be shy or hesitant to reveal his feelings for fear of frightening you off with an excessively high rate of intimacy. On the other hand, some representatives of the strong half of humanity can speak beautifully about affection, in fact, without experiencing it. To understand the true state of affairs, pay attention to the following actions and actions of a man.
1. It is difficult for a person in love to maintain eye contact. But at the same time, he often glances at the object of sympathy.
2. A man in love tries to demonstrate his best sides to a woman he likes, begins to carefully monitor his appearance.
3. A man in love tries to spend all his free time with you.
4. A man is interested in absolutely everything about you. Your hobbies, dreams, preferences.
5. By complimenting, a man will admire not only your appearance but also your character traits.
6. He easily agrees to your requests and is always ready to help in solving problems.
7. An important indicator of the seriousness of feelings is that you figure in his plans for the future.
Try asking close friends or family how they feel about your partner’s feelings. Own emotions often obscure the eyes. And loved ones, sincerely wishing you happiness, will be able to objectively assess how much a man is devoted to you.
Psychology of men in love: features and secrets of his relationship
If you have not found signs of falling in love with your chosen one, do not be upset. The psychology of love and relationships will give you a hint on how to win the heart of your beloved. There are 4 female archetypes in the subconscious of every man.
- Eve is the keeper of the hearth, mother, a cozy earthly woman;
- Elena is the archetype of the ideal lover, able to charm with her eroticism;
- Maria is a comrade-in-arms, a fighting friend;
- Sophia is a wise advisor, an ideological inspirer.
If you can embody all these 4 archetypes, learn to switch between them in time, then adoration from the male sex is guaranteed to you.
#What Is The Psychology Of Love And Relationships? #The Psychology Of Love #The Psychology Of Relationships #The Psychology Of Love And Relationships #www.LovePsychologys.com