Unrequited love – a beautiful feeling or a nightmarish obsession. The theme of unrequited love is not easy. Just talk to someone who was lucky in life to meet a mutual feeling. No one knows that it’s podderzhkoy, happiness, strength. Let’s try to understand what is love without reciprocity, tragedy or happiness.
What is unrequited love?
This is the sublime feeling of one person for another. Moreover, the object of desire does not experience anything in response. The most he can offer is friendship.
Moreover, for someone who loves, whether a person is married or free, whether they work together or not, live in the same city or are separated by thousands of kilometers.
Unrequited love can arise, both in women and in men, regardless of social status, financial situation, age. No, it most often occurs in adolescents.
They are not yet strong psychologically, they are not sure, they are vulnerable. Usually this feeling is found in school or student life.
When unrequited love is happiness?
Unrequited love is happiness in rare cases. Since this moment is not required. Basically, people experience this feeling, learn to cope with it, manage it, direct energy in a different direction: development, creativity, labor activity.
Happiness unrequited love can only be if the object of experience is inside the person. In literature, it is presented to us as something personal, bright, in the form of inspiration, love without boundaries. A person purposefully chooses a woman or a man as a muse. Protects her with careful and at the same time deep, true love.
When unrequited love is a tragedy?
Unrequited love is a tragedy when, in a place with it, a person suffers from pain and disappointment. He experiences feelings like:
The Source of Unrequited Love Brings Only experiences That lead to changes, and not for the Better, reflections. It is she who is the reason for the consultation of a psychotherapist and psychologist.
If you look from the point of view of psychology, as a science, then unrequited love is nothing but a feeling of a person. It stands out for discussion more often than other feelings, as it is a risk of suicidal thoughts. No, mutual love is just as negative a feeling as shame or guilt.
When a person has mastered the skill of experiencing negative emotions, then unrequited love will not be a tragedy. Yes, it is unpleasant, but it is also possible to control EMOtion. The reaction to unrequited love is individual. It is a feeling, the experience of which depends on the individual.
Types of unrequited love
Physician resolves the two possible scenarios:
- To an object that is known in advance, but it is not available.
These are popular Actors, Stars, politicians or a person whom you follow on a social network, but have not previously communicated in real life. A striking example of this is the teenager’s room. It is pasted over with posters, the photo of the idol is stored in the phone.
In this case, the second person is not needed. The main thing: the action that takes place inside. Only the inner experience matters. A person will gain experience that will help him to know himself better.
- To a person from real life, but who does not know about feelings for him.
This is the one with whom you constantly intersect: a colleague, a classmate. Someone chooses the tactic of being silent and not talking about their feelings. The reasons may lie in the presence of a couple, or he does not feel confident, he is afraid of being rejected. Maybe he just doesn’t know how to approach and confess his feelings.
- To the object to whom you told about your feelings, but he did not reciprocate.
You had hopes to further develop the relationship. The refusal was manifested by their collapse, a sense of inferiority, hopelessness. A person suffering from unrequited love experiences loss. This process may take a long time. Here it is necessary to stop in a timely manner, to find a method of how to survive the situation.
- To the object with which the parting happened.
As long as it’s possible, it’s negligible, by the actual situation, it’s up to you. You remember spending time together, happy moments.
- In a relationship where only one loves and the other does not.
This option is considered dysfunctional, it is a type of love addiction.
All kinds of this feeling have a common feature: an unconscious urge to be forbidden to someone. Such experiences do not require a partner. Often the person who experiences this feeling does not need to change himself.
Despite the lack of response, the lack of desire for change, a person himself receives what is necessary for himself: life is filled with meaning, he is fueled by experiences. The leading role is given to internal processes, the external factor is not important.
How to deal with unrequited love?
If unrequited love has visited you, then it is important to pay attention to the mechanisms that will help you get distracted. First of all, switch:
- plunge headlong into work;
- find a new hobby;
- change the scenery, go on vacation;
- make repairs at home;
- do some sports;
- distract yourself with the other person.
You can switch from destructive unrequited love with the help of:
- Balanced life. Remember that life is multifaceted, find a new source of joy, Get carried away, Dream, realize your goals, satisfy your desires. This is the variant that is different: and it is easy, and it is difficult, and it is unsafe.
- Full reboot. Turn off your feelings. If the experiences are beyond, then this is an excellent method that works in a short time. No, after a while the body will get tired of the double STRess and will require rest.
Do not get hung up on the lack of a constructive solution in the current situation. This is a scrolling event, a constant search for an answer to the question “why?”. The most dangerous thing is to stop at the point where the situation seems unsolvable. This often leads to self-destructive behavior.
It’s worth it to see how you want it, to the items, to the car in it’s stalkyvale with the bad weather. Take care of yourself, take care of yourself. This will allow you to go to a place where you can find resources for later life.
Unrequited love is rarely happiness. More often than not, it’s a tragedy. The most constructive solution is to find the strength to develop new emotions and strength for further movement. Unrequited love from the point of view of psychology is just a feeling. To cope with it, it is necessary to work out the skill of experiencing negative emotions.