What are relationships like? How much do their forms differ from each other? What types of relationships can be classified as positive, neutral, or negative and what is their essence? The features of these types allow you to see how diverse they can be, what consequences they entail, what is at the center of their focus. The meaning of relationships, their forms, and the main strategies of behavior in them – later in the article.
What is a relationship?
Relationships are a strong connection between two subjects, which is based on emotional attachment, reciprocity, awareness of one’s obligations to a partner. Healthy, mutually beneficial, long-lasting, and serious relationships are based on 5 components:
- confidence. The ability to relax, not to wait for a dirty trick, as well as confidence in the person who is nearby, is very close. That is why trust is one of the most important parts of a good union;
- respect. The ability to appreciate each other improves any relationship, makes partners feel needed, recognized;
- Attention. If people see each other or correspond once a year, then their connection can hardly be called strong, reliable. It is important to devote time to loved ones, create new memories, impressions;
- tolerance. Tolerance for other people’s minuses, lack of aggression, acceptance of the difference between two personalities help to overcome difficulties, avoid serious conflicts;
- sincerity. Lying undermines trust and respect, suppresses the desire to give attention to the deceiver and be tolerant towards him. This is what makes openness and honesty so important.
What are relationships like? & its different Forms!
If even one of the parts is ignored, the relationship begins to gradually deteriorate, and then collapse. It is also important that such requirements are set before both partners. Even if one of them follows absolutely all the rules, and the other forgets about them, then problems will still arise, regardless of the efforts of the first.
These 5 components don’t just apply to friendships or love relationships. They are applicable everywhere, but the degree, understanding of these rules varies. For example, a business partnership also requires trust, honesty, and the other elements listed. The same applies to the interaction of teacher-student, parent-child, buyer-seller, supplier-realizer, customer-executor, and any other social roles. Without 5 such details, it is impossible to achieve a common goal, since the meaning of all cooperation is lost.
This form of relationship in its orientation is often called “moving towards people.” This category allows partners to achieve a common goal or even different tasks, but with mandatory mutual assistance, active assistance. In most cases, the central place in them is given to feelings, a personal attitude towards a communication partner.
In positive alliances, there are troubles, disputes, conflicts, but they are insignificant compared to the positive aspects and benefits. Their main types include:
- love is a complex feeling not only between homo- or heterosexual partners, but also between relatives, in relation to things, activities, animals, phenomena, even abstract concepts;
- closeness – an experience that is not always based on deep feelings, which gives a feeling of reliability, stability, security;
- friendship – a strong emotional connection, built on the reciprocity of interests, the need to be part of society, to look for like-minded people;
- friendship – weak interaction without serious sensual ties, but with benevolent intentions;
- attraction – short-term instinctive craving for another person based on sexual or platonic desires;
- altruism – philanthropy, including tolerance, humanity, complete disinterestedness, kindness towards others, even to those with whom there are no serious ties.
The same relationship can include several positive types of communication at once. They also often flow from one to the other, but only with the consent of both parties.
“Movement away from people” is another name for describing the orientation of relationships of this form. They can cause different emotions – both bad and good. However, in fact, the participants in such interactions do not bring any serious benefit or harm to each other.
Sometimes these relationships are situational, that is, they depend on specific circumstances. Over time, while maintaining communication between the participants, this form can smoothly flow into one of the types of positive or negative relationships. The types of the most neutral form include:
- autism – intentional or unconscious loss of connection with reality, including with people, “withdrawal into oneself.” It develops with mental disorders or after receiving serious psychological trauma;
- indifference – refusal to make contact, to provide any kind of assistance (physical, intellectual, emotional, verbal, etc.) due to lack of acquaintance, benefits, suitable conditions, affection, etc.;
- conformity – a type of connection in which one person agrees with someone else’s opinion, copies it only because of the fear of seeming different from everyone else, or the desire to become a member of some social group. It can be internal (full acceptance and attribution of other people’s attitudes to oneself) and external (a person follows the norms, rules of another, but remains with his own opinion, without expressing it openly);
- selfishness – the desire to satisfy one’s needs, interests without taking into account other people’s aspirations, needs. Contrary to stereotypes, this is not a negative type of relationship, but still neutral, since the individual does not have a direct goal to harm others. He does not think about them at all, preferring to concentrate solely on his own motives and priorities.
The neutral form of relationship, as a rule, does not last long. It is stable only on the condition that people do not know each other personally, while they do not have obvious common problems or interests.
For example, a woman is unlikely to feel anything when she receives the news that an acquaintance of her son has fallen off his bicycle. However, if the same friend suddenly falls ill, say, with chickenpox, as the son himself had recently been ill, then the mother will involuntarily show sympathy, empathy for the boy. In addition, she will most likely sympathize even with the parent of this guy she does not know.
Orientation – “moving against people.” Negative forms of communication and interaction, in general, become the causes of violence, open or secret confrontation. However, not always everything comes to active actions. People may well experience something unpleasant for each other, but not decide on open hostility.
If outwardly the negative is not expressed in any way, the opponent does not even know about the bad emotions that he causes, then this is one of the forms of neutral relationships. And only when at least one of the partners in a word or deed purposefully delivers any inconvenience, we can already talk about negative relationships. These include:
- negativism – unmotivated desire to act contrary to the accepted rules, specifically not to meet expectations, requirements;
- dislike – discriminatory attitude towards a certain category of people (racism, ageism, ableism, sexism) or towards a specific person;
- hatred – a sharp negative motivated feeling of the subject, a complete refusal to accept the values, opinions, needs of the object;
- aggression – dangerous negative behavior towards another person, which is accompanied by physical or psychological violence.
Negative relationships are difficult to correct and turn into positive ones. This requires the active voluntary work of both parties towards the same goal.
What are relationships like? & its different Forms!
Models of behavior in relationships.
Models (or strategies) of interactions in relationships are different. Basically, the centers of their differences are the goals set by each person, the ways to achieve them, the features of influence on each other in the process. In total, 5 main tactics can be distinguished.
In cooperation, the goals of people can be both common and different, but not contradictory. At the same time, the participants necessarily help each other to move towards the endpoint, not forgetting about their needs, guidelines. This is the best option for interaction, as it allows you to take care of another person without violating your own principles. As a result, the goal has been achieved.
For cooperation to be effective and to take place at all, it is important to observe the 5 components of a healthy relationship, which have already been written about in the first paragraph. In addition, it is based on full reciprocity, since the efforts of one side will not be enough. Then cooperation will turn into altruism, which will be discussed later.
Individualism is a movement towards personal goals without taking into account the interests and needs of a partner. In this case, the landmark or end point may be identical. However, partners, despite the benefits of working together, prefer to move alone.
A typical example is the heads of competing companies. They can join forces, enter into partnerships in order to achieve more in cooperation. However, they choose the competition to single-handedly take the top spot in their niche. Individualism is also chosen by both parties if one of them refuses to cooperate if the other has a desire (refusal of altruism).
In modern psychology, in contrast to the theories of the twentieth century, it is generally accepted that a compromise is not a solution to a problem. This is a mutual voluntary sacrifice of part of their interests for the sake of the “common good”. How does this manifest itself in everyday life?
- Terms. The spouses have different interests and plans for the weekend. The wife wants to go to the theater or any other cultural institution together. The husband wants to relax in nature.
- Solution. As a result of the conversation, the spouses agree to compromise – to spend one weekend according to the scenario of the woman, the other – according to the plan of the man.
- Problem. Every second weekend, one of the spouses is forced to endure an unloved activity. Over time, the situation is heating up, discontent accumulates, it becomes harder to adapt, conflicts arise.
There are two outcomes: either the spouses find a variant of cooperation, that is, they avoid victims (for example, she goes to the theater with her friends, he goes on a hike with colleagues), or constant quarrels will lead to a break or a negative form of relationship.
Altruism in this context is helping the opponent achieve his goals while ignoring or abandoning his own. That is, this is a one-sided assistance that makes their altruist a victim of the situation at his own request.
Usually the patience and disinterestedness of altruists do not last long in personal relationships, they do not manifest themselves at all in business relationships. The only exceptions are spiritual, consciously platonic, elevated relationships. However, they impress a few.
Ignoring is giving up one’s own goals as a way to prevent an opponent’s success. At the same time, contact is necessarily gradually lost, communication worsens. It often happens between partners who have a common goal, and the efforts of both parties are important to achieve it. After a conflict or a change in priorities, one participant refuses to cooperate without informing the other directly. While he avoids cooperation, his assistant does not suspect anything, working for the common cause until he realizes the inaction of the first.
Relationships differ in their forms, as well as patterns of normal behavior in them. This explains why a business relationship is different from a romantic union, and why friendship is different from rivalry. If a particular type of interpersonal connection suddenly begins to show signs of a different kind, this invariably leads to change. Moreover, they can be both progressive and regressive. And if only one partner wants to transfer communication to another plane, conflicts begin.
What are relationships like? & its different Forms!