It is easy to assume that infidelity means automatic termination of the partnership. But it’s not that easy – and that’s a good thing. There’s one thing experts agree on when it comes to dealing with infidelity, and that while “recovery” is possible, rebuilding a healthy relationship is hard work.
Marriage and family therapist David Clowman, owner of a counseling center in Chicago, says he has seen it take at least a year, but usually a couple is cured in two years.
Manhattan-based licensed clinical psychologist Joseph Silona, PhD, reports that “a person who has cheated cannot see the lover he cheated with again.”
Lena Derhally, a Washington, DC MD, agrees: “I think it’s a waste of time if you’re at work and this person is still dating a lover.
In this case, there is no desire and trust,” she says. And it is necessary to restore it: the person who was cheated on can ask as many questions as necessary about what happened. This may take several sessions and it depends on complete honesty.
In addition, it is necessary to allow the partner who has been deceived to see the e-mail and have access to the partner’s mobile phones in order to make sure that they are ready to change.
When the passions subside a little, it is worth understanding the real reason for the betrayal. There is a high probability that the partner really lacked something in the relationship and it is worth making up for it. But just don’t change. In return, he must show patience and understanding that healing is a long process that is worth going through without other betrayals.